


Monster + Infinity

by LostinThisIndigoGalaxy



Category: EXO (Band), Marvel, SHINee, SM Cinematic Universe, SMCU, SuperM (Korea Band)
Genre: 2Tae2Kai, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Idols, Alternate Universe - Magic, Alternate Universe - Science Fiction, Ambiguous Relationships, Author has a foul mouth, Autistic Coded Character, Biting, Canon Compliant, Clones, Cryptids, Cussing, Dimension Travel, Dirty Jokes, EXO Have Powers (EXO), Emotional, Emotional Growth, Feelings, Gender-Neutral Pronouns, Happy Ending, Jealousy, LGBTQ Character of Color, Love Bites, M/M, MAMA Era Powers (EXO), Mild Hurt/Comfort, Mild Kink, Mild S&M, Multiverse, Mutual Pining, Mystery, Neurodiversity, No Smut, Non-binary character, OT12 (EXO), Queer Character, Queer Themes, SM Cinematic Universe - Freeform, SMCU - Freeform, Sex Positive, Sex Talk, Sometimes fucking is easier than feelings, SuperM SM band fandom crossover, X-EXO Clones (EXO), mild D&s, not a/b/o, super powers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-08
Updated: 2021-02-21
Packaged: 2021-03-08 03:28:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 44,169
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26888890
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LostinThisIndigoGalaxy/pseuds/LostinThisIndigoGalaxy
Summary: Marvel-Verse SM Cinematic UniverseSuperM sci-fi action adventure mystery fairy tale--------It all started with one slightly despondent Jongin and one very cryptic Baekhyun at 5:00 in the morning. How weird could it possibly be?It could be very very weirdNow something is very very wrong in the balance of the universesOur heroes have to figure out what that is so they can put the worlds to right... but the first question might actually be where... how, and what in the hell is going on, anyway.But never let it be said that Lee Taemin is unprepared, or anything less than the absolute best. Lost? Confused? With absolutely no resources or Idea what to do? Sure. But they've done more with less.When has anything stopped the crown princes of K-pop when they had a goal and each other?Also, there is the teeny tiny detail of the Inter-dimensional Space Pirate Spy Clones, but they will blow up that bridge when they come to it... or cross it, you know whichever.------------This is vague on purpose so as not to give away any reveals or important plot points. There is so much I can not tag.End game 2Tae2Kai
Relationships: Byun Baekhyun/Park Chanyeol, Implied Baekhyun/Baekhyun/Chanyeol, Kim Jongin | Kai/Lee Taemin, Kim Jongin | Kai/Oh Sehun
Comments: 30
Kudos: 30





	1. The Calm Before The Storm

**Author's Note:**

> This story has been growing of its own accord since Taemin dropped the very first Criminal teaser. 
> 
> The roots of most of not all the plot points are in SM mythology.
> 
> \-------  
> We are not entitled to the private lives of Idols. If you suspect one of your favorite idols might actually be LGBTQIA+ The most respectful thing we can do is leave them The hell alone about it.
> 
> They can't freely talk about it. We should not try to force them to. Outing people, trying to out people is always wrong.
> 
> Vox Noire is feeding vulnerable black families with direct reparations. Contribute if you can.
> 
> https://checkout.square.site/pay/ede082a569ce4352b6bc30d3dd6ec00a

24 hours. 

He gave himself 24 hours after the SuperM anniversary vlive to rest. As if any of them knew how to rest. Unwinding after a comeback always left Jongin feeling raw and jittery. It took forever for him to untangle himself enough to be able to truly rest.

Which is how he ended up texting Taemin at 4 am. For the first time in their lives he was actually asleep first. Imagine Lee Taemin getting more sleep than him. It was like living in the twilight zone. 

Baekhyun would probably be up to, zoned out on his computer. But Baek had been a little off for awhile, maybe just the stress of running non-stop for the last year and a half. He'd been edgy, distant. Jongin had hoped that SuperM promotions would get them back to a better place, and it had. But he couldn't help feeling like something was still heavy and unsaid between them. It made him uncomfortable. It was never good when shit was brewing between members, even when they were on hiatus.

Technically he knew that if he texted Mark or Lucas they would drag themselves out of bed to attend to his nerves, but he didn't really want to do that to them when this was always the way it was for him after a comeback. 

Usually he and Taemin would watch movies all night until they couldn't stay awake anymore and fall asleep on the couch in a pile. Usually... Ahh well, yeah Taemin. That was the key issue wasn't it? Taemin went home. No wonder he couldn't sleep. He told himself that it was unreasonable to be jealous that Taemin could sleep in his own bed without him after such an exhausting comeback cycle. If only his sour stomach would listen that would be great. 

4:45. 

Fuck it he might as well just go into the studio and wear himself out the old fashioned way. He still had a solo debut to prepare for anyway. 

\----

"Holy Shit Nini Nini Nini! Where the hell have you been it's barely dawn?", Baekhyun barged into the dance studio without waiting for an answer, "nevermind, that doesn't even matter. Are you recording in here? No? Hell yes. Ok. Haha. Look... I need to show you something weird. Please? I'm sorry if this seems cryptic. Can we just hold questions until I can show you? nothing is going to make sense until I show you" 

Jongin felt like hell and Baek looked as bad as he felt, something made him reticent to agree, "I'm practicing Hyung, you know how frustrated Eris have been over my solo delays", he tried not to show how anxious and out of sorts he felt. 

Baekhyun stilled, studying him, "Taemin went to his place last night", It wasn't a question, "You haven't slept since the anniversary live have you Jongin ah? We both know you're not here for practice. Please this is important Nini just... Do you trust me at all, in all these years? Have I ever done anything this level of weird as a prank?" 

Jongin just stared at him blankly, could he even sift through almost a decade of Baekhyun antics this tired? That was the deciding factor really, he was to tired to be at cross purposes with Byun Baekhyun right now. 

"Ok Hyung, give me 15 minutes to wrap up here then we can go wherever." 

"Oh it's in the building... sort of" 

\------

"We need the private elevator. I got a key card for it when I sold a million", Baek lead him into the grand private elevator, "First you need to understand I found this because I over heard a conversation that I shouldn't have. It was so mysterious. You know how I am about things like that. I need to understand so I just had to know, and then the key card worked. I don't think it's supposed to."

"Honestly the next day I kind of expected a bunch of staff security to bust in and take the card from me but they never did. I thought I could make myself forget about it but it's impossible. I couldn't stop coming back... But I couldn't tell anyone either. Then, look honestly over the years I've gotten a lot better about reading you than I used to be Nini. I know I fucked it up a lot when we were kids. I wish I hadn't but I can't undo that. Now though? Now I know when you're faking it. He's faking it, I'm sure of it and for some reason I just needed to tell you. Maybe you'll know what to do."

Baekhyun opened a panel inside the elevator, slid the card through the reader and tapped in a code. What even? The basement icon flashed for a minute before the elevator started a smooth decent further down...much further down. Jongin swallowed, his throat was dry and painful. What the fuck was going on? 

"It took me awhile to put everything together, I'm not even sure I'm glad I did. But everything down here is automated. They could probably leave if they tried but none of them care to try so there are no guards or anything. I don't really understand it honestly." Baekhyun stepped out of the elevator. The hall lights flickered and went out. It was pitch black. Baekhyun cursed under his breath, there was fumbling and then weak light, his phone maybe? It was barely enough to light the way. 

"Come on, none of this will make sense until you see anyway", Baekhyun hustled him down a long narrow hallway. It gave him a claustrophobic sense of deja vu in the near pitch black that seemed to follow them, "so I kept coming back, and you know at first it was like watching your mirror move. It was unsettling but I couldn't look away. The thing is Nini they have their powers. They have their EXO Powers, how the fuck do they have their powers? They say they're space pirates? What does that even mean? They don't have any answers really. It's just a 24/7 party in here. But Nini, if you touch them... If you touch the one like you, it activates our powers...", Baekhyun stopped at an unmarked door like all the others and knocked softly. 

"What the hell are you talking about Hyung?"

The door popped open, the person in the door seemed to be haloed in light. Jongin had to cover his eyes for a second. 

"He means", A familiar sarcastic drawl came from the new person, "that we fucked... Didn't we Baekhyunnie?"" 

"Fuck you man" 

"Oh but Baekie, I already did" 

Jongin uncovered his eyes, he knew that voice but it didn't make sense. It was.... Obsession Baekhyun? What?? What???? His brain screeched to a halt.

"Why are you such a dick?" Baekhyun rubbed the bridge of his nose in frustration. 

"I don't know Baekhyunnie, why are you such a dick?" 

"I'm trying not to be... I've learned to be better, to not always go for the punch line.... and don't call me that" 

"What a waste of time Baekhyunnie. Why can't I call you Baekhyunnie, Baekhyunnie? You don't mind when my Chanyeol does, do you?", X-Baekhyun laughed and lead them through the door. It fell heavily closed behind them. 

"What in the actual fuck is going on here Hyung?", Jongin stopped in the hallway only to have Baekhyun pull him forward. 

"I don't know Nini, all I know is our Exo power are real", he held his hand up, fingers blooming blue white light. Despite his shock the two Baekhyuns kept him moving down a hallway opening into...a fancy apartment? What the fuck was going on here? 

The living room of the apartment was huge and beautiful other than it's utter and obvious lack of windows. 

Cotton candy pink Chanyeol jumped up out of the couch, ran to Baekhyun, and swung him around. He smirked wicked and amused, cooing "Baekhyunnie!" Like they were old friends. Then he set Jongin's Baekhyun down and picked up his particular Baekhyun...their greeting was much more intimate... Much more intimate. He was getting confused just thinking about all of this. 

"Look Chanyeollie he's sulking. Poor sulky Baekhyunnie", X-Baekhyun dangled from Chanyeol's neck. 

"You guys are such dicks", Baekhyun closed his eyes with a defeated sigh. X-ChanBaek laughed, practically salivating over Baekhyun's resignation. Nope. This was to far. He just, no. 

"No. I don't know what sort weird sado-masochistic, self destructive, threesome situation you all have going on here, but I know you didn't bring me here to watch you guys fuck so would you please get to the fucking point." 

"Mmmm.... you're hot when you're angry. Is that why we're always making Kai angry?", X-Chanyeol giggled. It was unnerving.

"Nope. Not you Chanyeol- ... I don't even know what to call you, this is to damn weird, absolutely not. Baekhyun would you please, for the love of everything you hold dear, tell me why the fuck you brought me here? I know it wasn't this" 

Baekhyun tore his eyes away from his duplicate who had gone back to sucking face with the other Chanyeol. Baek, sighed in dismay. 

"Sorry Nini, it's confusing to me too", he lead Jongin to the living room and sat in an extremely plush and luxurious couch. Jongin did his best to studiously ignore the couple still working their way to second base in the middle of the room. Baekhyun watched them for a minute before redirecting his attention back to Jongin. 

"I offered to help them get out you know but they didn't want to. Food, Booze, anything they could possibly want just magically appears for them. They know they are being kept for some reason that's probably not good, but they just don't care... except for him." 

"Baekhyun Hyung, I still don't understand.' 

"Nini, would we, EXO I mean, ever have been enough for you?" 

"What are you up talking about? As members? Of course you are." 

"Not as members, as people" 

Jongin was going to say yes of course, then he remembered why he wasn't able to sleep last night anyway. Taemin perfect, beautiful, delicate, Taemin. The truth of it overwhelmed him. 

"I... I want to say yes but... No" 

"Exactly" Baekhyun's eyes were gentle, "it's not enough for him either Jongin ah. He radiates sadness and now I can't stop seeing it. He wouldn't leave for me...but maybe he would for you...or him. He deserves better than this Nini. He has your power... and your heart. He can teach you. He deserves more than they can ever give him. Maybe you three could go live on a mountain or something. I can't change the past but I can try and do better now. Just... Just meet him before you decide" 

"I don't want to have a threesome with myself Hyung" 

"That's not what I meant." 

"I know... But... Baek, how come you haven't told our Chanyeol you're in love with him?" 

"Why don't you tell Taemin, you're still in love with him?" 

"You know why... and besides, he's moved on" 

"Yeah", Baekhyun nodded permeated in sadness, "that's what I tell myself too...just, come on, talk to him, to Kai, then decide. They aren't evil Nini, they're just dicks... maybe bored dicks" 

They were walking down a whole other hall before he remembered to acknowledge what Baekhyun said in some way. His feet had decided for him. Baekhyun knocked on another door. A rich baritone voice answered in a whimsical sing song, "Who is iiiittt?" 

"You know who it is Kai. We scheduled this", Baekhyun was frustrated and it was showing in the small amount for edge in his voice. 

"Fiiine" 

There was some muffled moaning, a thump, whining. For a split second when Kai opened the door, Jongin could see a deep hurt, defeat, then he was fully in performance mode. Jongin sure as hell knew what his own fake assertive and confident face looked like. Baekhyun was right, this was not a happy man. Kai bit his lip and practically purred at them. Was this what his work persona was like for people? Wow. Kai was slinky and sensual, only wearing partially unbuttoned leather pants. Jongin somehow knew he had just put them on when they knocked. It was really weird seeing himself from the outside. No wonder Baek kept coming back. Someone's phone was vibrating for attention inside the room.

"This is my twin? He doesn't look like much. I don't see how we're twin-y at all", Kai smirked at him with ferocity that seemed like over selling the part to Jongin. Baekhyun snorted in exasperation. 

"Pfft. Please he does just fine. Can we drop the act Kai? I'm tired." 

Kai pretended to consider, the phone was still vibrating away under a pile of blankets on the bed. Was anyone going to get that?

"No I don't think we can..." Kai shifted his focus from Baekhyun to Jongin. He was impossibly sad under the radiant sex, "So are you here to fuck yourself too pretty boy?" 

Jongin tried to not flinch at this sad cynical version of him saying those specific words in that way. 

"No... I don't need you to fuck myself. That just seems like a lot of work anyway. I'm way to high maintenance" 

Kai exploded in surprised laughter. The big pretty laugh, the genuine one. 

"Fair enough, for the powers then?" 

"I don't understand that enough to even care." 

"Then why are you here... Nini?" 

He said the nickname like it burned his mouth.

"I... I don't know ok? I don't know but Baekhyun Hyung said you needed help... I don't know it took me to long to realize that I was deserving of love and support. It felt wrong to just walk away." 

As silence pooled between them, the pile of blankets started to keen and squirm in time with the vibrating... Oh. Oh. Oh hell no. Who did he have tied up in there? Jongin probably didn't want to know. Baekhyun answered the question before he could dismiss his curiosity. 

"Are you just going to leave Sehun like that the whole time we talk Kai?" 

"I wouldn't be a very good boyfriend if I didn't would I?", Kai snickered as he stepped into the hall pulling the door mostly closed behind him. Hold on now, what? 

"You're dating Sehun?!?!" Jongin remembered how much he'd appreciated the shared dance practices with Sehun, before Taemin had put his name on Jongin's soul. He tried not to blush.

Kai just laughed at his discomfort, emanating apathetic charisma. It was all so fake though. For a minute Jongin forgot all he'd just learned, he forgot that they were somehow the same person with different lives. He reacted the way he would have for anyone who was hurting, he touched him, pressing his hand over Kai's heart. 

As soon as they touched, purple grey sparks raced from their point of contact, over their skin, Kai shocked as well started glowing smoky purple. Was he glowing purple? Taemin would think that was so cool. Then the memories hit. An entire lifetime of Kai's memories slammed into him at the same time. He keened at the intensity of it. A life time of space ships, solitude, and cynicism flew by behind his eyes. When it was done Jongin realized they had fallen into each other. They were both tear stained and breathing ragged uneven breaths . Kai pushed him away, hard. 

"Why did you do that?", Jongin wanted to explain it was an accident. It had been a reflex to physically comfort someone, "How could you have that and throw it away? How could you throw him away???", Kai sounded nauseous with fury.

What? 

It dawned on Jongin as he tried to sort his own memories from Kai's that he meant Taemin. He turned watery eyes on Kai, gritting his teeth, "I didn't throw him away." 

Kai pushed himself off the wall, flying gracefully through the air. Jongin didn't know if Kai was about to hit him.. or kiss him? Maybe he deserved the pain though, he didn't try to dodge. When Kai's hands touched his skin, instead of pain, his mind filled with the image of an infinite white hall way full of doors. Kai dragged him down the hallway, picked a door and threw him through it with a sneer. He opened his eyes. They weren't in the underground bunker apartment anymore. They were outside, in the city, by a bridge. Oh. 

"This place glows in your mind, It wasn't hard for me to find at all. Why?" Kai pressed a palm into the warm concrete. Memories flooded Jongin. Thank fuck it was so early, no one noticed two Kim Kai's arguing in the early morning sun. 

"You obviously know why, why are you asking?" 

"I want to hear you say it. I want to hear it out of my own mouth.", He laughed with no humor.

"We were on a date here, dispatch... This was the last time things were relatively easy for us. The last time...that I didn't feel guilty." 

"So you just abandoned him because it got a little hard?" Kai's accusation burrowed into his heart and took root. 

"No! I didn't abandon him. He never needed me like I needed him. He was always stronger than I was. He loved me but...it... They were eating him alive. Dragging him out constantly asking him questions that they would never let anyone ask me"

"Because you're a terrible liar" 

"...I... Fundamentally...yes. He was so. He was hurting. I was hurting him. He's to loyal, to stubborn, to fucking perfect. He hated when corporate dictated our personal choices. He would never do what he needed to do to be free of me. So I did it for him. It was simple. He never needed to know how much I loved him, how heart broken I was. It was always different for him, easier. He needed to be able to move on...and he did... And I'm glad... He deserves to be happy, to not constantly have to be afraid of being outed because of me. 

"Well aren't you just a fucking martyr", Kai hissed at him. 

"I wasn't trying to be a martyr. I just wanted him to be happy. I don't own him. Nobody owns anyone. Sure as hell no one owns Lee Taemin. I could love him just as well by his side, as his friend. More so even in some ways, more safely. He never loved me like that anyway. It was for the best" 

"Yeah how's that working out for you?" 

"You know what? Fuck you. We were kids, we were scared. Terrified of ruining our lives, losing everything we had including each other. I don't know if it was the right choice or not but it was to late by the time I realized it might not have been... It was already to late." , Jongin sat down, emotionally and physically deflated.

"I guess there's a reason they don't call you the genius idol huh?" Kai sneered at him again. 

"Fuck you. I'm not dumb. Nobody who knows me thinks I'm dumb." Jongin wiped away his tears as Kai watched. He sat down beside him without comment. 

"Nobody thinks you're dumb but you, you mean" 

"Baekhyun was right, you guys might not be evil but you're fucking dicks.", He used a life time in front of cameras to mellow his heart rate, still his body, make his face impassive. Kai seemed to relax a little too. He sighed heavily.

"No one has ever loved me like that. No one has ever even thought of me like that. You saw. I didn't even know feelings could feel like that. I'm so mad at you for having that and giving it up.", He elbowed Jongin.

"So am I" 

They sat awhile, just existing in the same space as the streets started slowly becoming work day busy. It started making Jongin edgy. It was only a matter of time before a teenager passed by.

"I really need to go before someone recognizes us" 

"I figured" 

"Do you think Baekhyun is still just standing there listening to Sehun sexy squirm?", They both laughed. It eased the tension between them a bit.

"Jo-Jongin ahh, uhh did you see the visual with the hallway when we jumped?" 

"Yeah I was wondering about that" 

"You'll be able to follow that path now, it becomes instinct like breathing. You just think it, let go, and you'll be here. Meet me, on your days off at 6 am. We can practice your porting." 

"Wait, you're going to teach me? But why? I thought you hated me?" 

"I don't hate you... I do resent you more than a little, but it turns out your Baekhyun was right. I would do anything for him even if he would never be... mine. Maybe some day it will help you be together again.... Fuck there is nothing more insufferable than a correct Baekhyun. I'm going to go now. Don't forget" 

"Wait, how do I get back home?" 

"You're smart, figure it out." Kai evaporated into a puff of dark purple smoke. 

He didn't even have to think about it. His phone buzzed. 

\---- 

Taeminnie 

I'm sorry I missed your text Jonginnie. Are you ok? 

. 

Yeah Taemin ah I'm ok 

. 

We're being formal today aren't we Jonginnie? 

Wait

Did you work your comeback anxieties out on a giiirrrrllll? Dispatch is going to be in your underwear drawer in 5 hours. I don't know why you do this to yourself Nini 

. 

You know me to well Taemin ah. 

I'm a masochist I guess.

Speaking of dispatch, you wanna ditch your manager and come pick me up?

. 

The plot thickens, out in the world without transportation? 

I think you are to old to be out catting around like this you know 

One of these days it's going to cause more than just jealous fans

. 

It's worth it 

. 

I don't get what's so exciting about all of that but it's not my business anymore. So where are you. I'm already in the car. 

. 

The old spot 

If you remember 

. 

If I remember? I have never forgotten anything in my life and you know it. You brought a woman there? I... What the fuck? Why would you... Why would you do that? I try to understand but... That's to far. 

Fuck you. 

I'll be there in 15. I need coffee.

. 

No! Taeminnie no no I didn't bring a woman there. I swear to you. 

. 

You are being very suspicious Kim Jongin... I can't believe I am asking you this but... Did you... did you take a man to our place?

. 

No Taeminnie no. Fuck no. Never ever ever. That will always be the place where Lee Taemin stole my heart. No one else will ever be deserving of that place in my heart and mind. It was just me ok? 

I swear it isn't what you think. It was just a nearby landmark. 

. 

Fine fine fine you're a sexy saint. No need to be so dramatic. I got you some breakfast. I'm sure you needed it after your work out. 

. 

I... I don't deserve you Taeminnie. Thank you. 

. 

You're right you don't, and yet you love me anyway. More and more every day. Now stop being so hangry. I have a full schedule and no energy for all this drama. 

. 

Thank you Taeminnie. I do love you more every day. Thank you for everything. 

\----- 

It took all Jongin's training to calm himself enough that Taemin would let it slide, when he picked him up. He wasn't sure he had ever been so tired in his entire incredibly busy life. He wished he'd been able to fall asleep on top of Taemin watching cheesy horror movies instead of some absurd sm mv plot adventure. 

What the fuck just happened? 

What the fuck was he going to do? 

How was he going to keep from telling Taemin? 

Fuck.

When Taemin pulled up Jongin could tell he was smiling behind his mask already. He took the handful of food and tea Taemin shoved at him. The fear and dread drained out of his body as soon as Taemin touched him incidentally. That was normal. He'd been in love with Lee Taemin as long as he knew what love was. Taemin pulled down his mask as he drove. 

"So tell me about this new girl Jonginnie. Let me live vicariously through my best friend yes?" 

It was easy to fall into their usual banter pattern, easy and comfortable, just like everything always was with them. Being with Taemin was the greatest joy of his life outside of dance...and the most bittersweet. 

But Lee Taemin was worth it. 

No question. 

They both laughed to loud and to much over his nonsense story, enjoying the emotional intimacy they had only with each other. 

Best friends forever.


	2. The Oncoming Storm

"Fuck" 

Kai sprawled out on his bed. He had plenty of room to sprawl since Sehun went back to Tao and Luhan. He'd been snappy and Sehun got tired of him. It didn't matter, things between he and Sehun had always been... Companionable. Lately though, between spending what little spare time his... Jongin had, teaching him how to control his powers and the slowly fading memories of being in love...of being loved choking him constantly. He he had been consumed with bitterness. It was better for him to be alone. 

He closed his eyes and tried to remember the way Taemin smelled, the way he felt next to him... Jongin, the sound of his laugh, the way he scrunched his nose when he was proud of himself. It was all fading to fast. It had been to brief, to small a sliver of that feeling. He squeezed his eyes shut as tightly as possible and tried again. His intense self destructive dwelling was interrupted by a gentle knock on his bedroom door. 

"FUCK OFF!" 

"Kiki it's me, come on let me in. I can feel you brooding from here", Luhan somehow managed to speak softly but clearly through the door. Kai wondered if he was controlling the sound waves. You never knew with that kid. He was always coming up with new ways to use his powers. Which meant if he wanted in badly enough, he'd just come in. No point in refusing him really. 

"FINE!", He didn't bother getting up to unlock the door. He didn't need to. Thankfully Luhan chose the immensely less terrifying method of getting in, unlocking and opening the door with his powers. Thank fuck. He'd seen him and Tao do some sort of weird power combo to walk through walls once. One time only. The human mind was not meant to comprehend such atrocities. He looked vaguely at Luhan who was hovering over him with a tray of food. The smell made his stomach flip in distaste.

"No Thank you. Do not want", Kai tried to close his eyes and think of Taemin's smile. The one his fans made an emoji out of. He just wanted everyone to leave him alone.

"Kiki-" 

"Don't call me that, the cute nicknames are for him. I'm not cute." 

"You are though, we just forgot Kiki. All these years down here burning away on nothing. But if you will eat and listen I will call you Kai" 

"Fine", Kai slowly hauled himself into a sitting position so he could pick at whatever vile sustenance Luhan brought with him.

"You have to eat Ki-Kai." 

"Why? There's nothing for me here, just let me lay here and remember him while I still can." 

"As much I would love to leave you here starving yourself to death over someone else's broken heart, I can't do that Kai, something is coming for us." 

"What? Do you need me to get you out? Nini and I have been making escape routes for me now that he's got the basics. I can port out now" 

"So you can only walk a new path out when you're with him still?" 

"Yeah, no obvious reasons why." 

"You know Tao and I have been researching our powers.", Luhan sat on nothing, floating in midair. Fucking show boat. 

"Oh is that what we're calling, fucking these days Luhan?" 

"Yes Kai, that is what we are calling fucking these days", he rolled his eyes and continued, "You know that when we use our powers together we can see energies. Tao thinks it might be time in the fourth dimension or the continuity of time both forward and backward. Accessible to us in a ...read only format because of my powers." 

"Yes please explain it to me like a kindergartener, it's not like I have been a fucking space pilot since I was 17...oh wait." 

"Are you quite done?", Luhan sighed, "The point is Kiki, that we can feel something looking for us, waiting for us in the dark between moments. We don't know for sure when or what, only that it's coming and when it does, you have to be ready to go with Jongin." 

"What?!?! Fuck No! FUCK NO! I'm not leaving you to whatever monsters have been hiding under our bed all these years!", Kai realized he had stress eaten half of the food in front of him without realizing it. Traitor body.

"You don't have a choice. Look, I don't know why, but what I do know is that our only hope out of this mess in the long term is for you to be ready to run with him when the time comes. Tao and I have been practicing doing a thing that replicates one way telepathic communication so... I think we'll be able to sound the alarm as soon as we can... and then you have to run Kai. You just fucking have to." 

"But... You guys are my family, such as it is... I... I don't want to.", Kai closed his eyes for a second, reigning in his frustration. When he opened his eyes Tao was abruptly there, leaning against his still fucking floating boyfriend. Fucking show boats. 

"Dammit Tao you know I hate it when you fucking pause me. Consent you dick." 

"Do I look like I give a fuck Kiki? We are on a schedule. Luhan cares about your precious fucking feelings. I don't. Get over yourself already. We need you.", He turned to Luhan, "Did you tell him?" 

"Yeah I told him, obviously." Luhan was really only patient one on one, when his friends started talking at him all at once, he got more testy.

"Ok, fucking great, can we fucking go now? Damn. I told you it was a waste of time to coddle him. He responds better to direct application of pressure", Tao made a face at Kai on general principle. 

"We'll be ok Kiki, we'll get out on our own... And I think we will see you again. But it has to be this way. It's the only way we all live.... Ok he's ready now." Luhan unfolded his legs and stood up without so much as a mid air bobble. Luhan and Tao kissed, laced their fingers together, and were gone again. Fucking show boats. 

Kai looked down at his now empty tray. He should probably take a shower and go to bed if he was going to be ready for this whatever it was. Fucking cryptic life or death bullshit. He missed the good old days, when he thought the only thing that mattered was chasing the next sensation.

Which sounded great but even he knew that wasn't really true. He'd been bereft for a long time. It seemed like eternities. Maybe if he slept long enough he would dream about Taemin. He tried to hold the memories close to his heart as he fell asleep. Let him dream about Taemin. 

His sleep was restless and disjointed. At least once he woke up thinking he'd heard a wolf howl in the distance... in an underground bunker. Sure. Made as much sense as anything else in his life.

\-------

"Nini hurry up!"

Jonghyun Hyung? 

"Nini baby I need you to wake up now. For Taemin-" 

Jonghyun? Hyung I don't understand 

"Wake up now Nini-" 

WAKE UP!!!!!!

Jongin sat bolt upright in bed, soaked in ice cold sweat. His head was pounding like someone had been screaming directly into his brain. 

JONGIN SSI, KAI NEEDS YOU RIGHT NOW- 

He didn't have to think about it. He blinked out before the voice in his head could finish his thoughts. 

He landed in a crouch in Kai's bedroom. Thank fuck he'd worn pajamas last night. Now where the fuck was everyone, where was Kai. 

HERE 

An image was shoved into his head of a cafeteria, under siege. He didn't hesitate, held onto the image and blinked. This time he landed beside Kai. He tried to take everything in. The double doors were being held by the X-EXO members with more physical powers. 

Chanyeol, Chen, and Sehun were working together to make a targeted fire and lightning attack. Suho, Lay, and Xiumin were making some sort of fucking toxic projectiles together then firing them into the consuming darkness beyond the doorway. Baekhyun, Kyungsoo, and Kris were working independently together on defense. In the middle of all the chaos, Tao and Luhan were kissing, their combined powers making them glow an eerie pinkish red. Those two always had been kinda show offs when they were together. He wasn't surprised that whatever it was they were doing looked so grandiose. 

Jongin realized that for once Baekhyun had been wrong about something, they weren't here entirely willingly, and they hadn't just been partying. They'd been practicing, getting ready for this moment. He didn't know how he knew that but he knew it unequivocally.

Kai was yelling something at Luhan and Tao. He couldn't tell what, it didn't matter. They had to go, he grabbed Kai's wrist and tried to pull him back before they blinked. But Kai was frantic to stay, fighting him. He couldn't blame him. He would be too. He had managed to drag him a few feet away when a semi transparent hologram like version of Luhan's spirit somehow peeled out of his body. Tao floated out behind him in spirit form as well, holding Luhan's spirit wrist with one hand and his own physical body's arm with the other. Luhan faced them and opened his mouth to yell something but he couldn't hear anything. A split second later the combined force of their powers hit them, blowing them backwards. 

THEY'RE COMING. YOU HAVE TO RUUUUNNNNN!!!!!! 

The percussive force of their powers sent Kai and Jongin flying towards a wall they were going to be pulverized. Thank fuck he still had a hold of Kai. He blinked. 

They landed in a pile on his bed with the wind knocked out of them. Everything was spinning.

"What the fuck was that??", Jongin didn't mean to be yelling into the sudden silence. He'd broken out in an ice cold sweat again, worse than when he debuted.

"I don't know", Kai was already scrambling up, "but we have to go. We couldn't see anything, Not even Luhan and Tao. I don't know what it was but I know we have to go right the fuck now."

Jongin's phone started to buzz on his Nightstand. He looked at the notification. 

"It's just staff", he stepped toward the phone.

"Do not fucking answer that! we've been locked in the basement for years." 

They stared at each other as the phone stopped buzzing. Nobody left a message. That was extremely unusual for staff. Staff always left messages. 

"We have to go right now", Kai tried to grab his wrist, "some place far away some place they won't find us for awhile." 

"Wait! Wait!", Jongin felt like he was going to throw up. He couldn't just leave could he? Leave everything and everyone behind. Taemin would be worried. Taemin.

"If they are related to the company, then they will go after him to find me. We have to take Taemin with us." Jongin's mind was racing but one thing was clear. Always. Taemin. He couldn't leave Taemin. Not ever. He'd made promises he intended to keep. 

"I... Ok.", Kai squirmed in mild embarrassment. He'd live. He took Kai's hand, took a deep breath and let go of the wall he always kept around his Taemin feelings. He blinked. 

They landed in Taemin's bedroom. He'd be embarrassed if he had the emotional room for anything other than the urgency. Taemin, who'd always been a light sleeper, at least when it came to him, stirred, still half asleep.

"Jonginnie? You're here? I missed you so much. You promised me you would never abandon me Jonginnie but I see you less and less. You always find new ways to break my heart. It isn't fair", he paused in his sleepy chastisement when he opened his eyes and saw Kai standing behind Nini, "oh I'm dreaming, I guess that makes sense, though it does make me very sad. Still two dream Jonginnies might almost numb the pain of one absent real Jonginnie." He reached for them sleepily. 

For a moment Jongin was completely emotionally horror-struck. He'd never heard Taemin talk that way about him. Oh no. Oh no no no. His body wouldn't move, he just stood there blankly while Taemin reached for them, wiggling suggestively in his silky sheets. 

Kai held the nape of Nini's neck firmly to comfort him maybe. He squeezed just a bit more than was strictly necessary to get his attention, "Feel guilty later Jongin ah. We have to go now." 

"Yeah... ok you're right, can you give us a minute. Get him together a bag", he was reminded that he and Kai were both in their pajamas, "...and there should be plenty enough of my clothes for both of us. He will need something for today, and three changes of clothes. Basics, soft, open neck lines, comfortable, gender neutral. I don't care what you get for me. Take whatever you want that I have here. There is a small travel bag in the closet. Just go. He can get dressed 89% asleep. It won't be a problem" 

"Ok but you and I are going to have a talk about everything that paragraph implies some day.", Kai bolted for the indicated walk in closet.

When he turned around again, Taemin was watching him quietly, dark eyes wide, always evaluating, trusting. It made Jongin's heart twist. Taemin held out his hand again, this time he was much more awake. 

"What's going on Jonginnie?" 

"... I don't even know where to start baby...." 

"Well", Taemin's voice was firm, "I would suggest you start with him... Is this where you've been? You've been cheating on me with... Whatever he is?" 

Jongin was reminded that the only reason people thought Taemin was a bad actor, was because he wanted them to. It offered him a certain amount of protection. His eyes flashed in something near anger, but he was still, so still. A life time of training controlling his body taking over. He hadn't even sat up yet, giving Jongin time to explain himself.

"No Taeminnie no we're not fucking. We're just clones... or something. He taught me how to teleport. We've got to help him. I swear that is all. Taemin ah, there has never been anyone but you. Not really. Not in any way that mattered. Baby I swear. I am not sleeping with him." 

"Please don't treat me like the fans do Jongin ah, please don't insult my intelligence. You have girlfriends all the time, extremely publically for an idol. You've made me watch... that, for years. So please spare me the, there has never been anyone but you, speech" 

"Taemin... I yes... I had to... It would just start the rumors again if I didn't. They were nice... Comforting even... But Taemin not a single one of them have held a candle to you in my heart", he so badly wanted to reach for Taemin, to hold him, but he could see that Taemin wanted him to stay where he was. He stayed.

"Oh so you have been fucking everyone on earth, but me for the last decade, for my benefit, but you are definitely not fucking him. I see.... I saw the way he's looking at you Nini. So no need to pretend. Did you come to tell me you were finally fucking off with someone you could really love?" 

"No, what? No... fuck. I deserve that. Taeminnie baby, he's not looking at me like that. He's looking at you like that." 

"What?" 

He's Looking at you like that Taemin ah. When he activated my powers, we got each other's memories sort of...so... He's... He's in love with you too now, from carrying around all my feelings. He's never been in love, never been even close to anyone other than his EXO, so he's finding it a little bit debilitating, the strength of the memories... feeling how much I love you all the time." 

Taemin flinched, "what?" 

Jongin tried to remember his words, "His EXO? Clones? I can teleport now-" 

Taemin laughed raw and edged with something angry... and hopeful, "No I don't care about that right this second... Right this second... The other thing Jonginnie" 

Jongin tried to remember what he'd just said... oh... 

"You mean, that I love you?" 

"you still love me?" 

"I didn't know you didn't know Taeminnie. I thought... Yes Taemin. I love you so much. It guts me every day. Yes, I love you. Please believe me baby. The only important thing I've ever done with my entire life is love you. 

Taemin sat blinking at him, nearly frozen, "well... that... seems... excessive..."

Jongin knew Taemin well enough to know he was extremely overwhelmed, and having difficulty responding. Maybe he could help. 

"Taeminnie, can I hold you? Can I kiss you? Please? If that would be ok" 

Taemin nodded jerkily. 

Jongin crawled into the bed with Taemin as he pressed tear stained kisses into his mouth. Taemin was clinging to him, trembling, "say it again Jonginnie... please" 

"I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you", Jongin squeezed him as tight as he could without hurting him, "We have to go though Taeminnie, Kai and I. I know I have no right to ask but, I... Please come with me. I don't think I know how to live without you and I don't want to. I'm not sure I could even if I did want to... and I don't want them to come looking for me and find you instead anyway" 

Taemin looked deep in his eyes, like he was looking for some hidden spiritual secret, "ok", there was something Taemin was leaving unsaid but Jongin refused to argue with his yes, 'Do you think he's found us clothes yet Jonginnie?" 

"Should we go find out?"

"Only if you promise to stay with me forever... And completely spoil me after these year suffering with no physical affection." 

"Taemin we cuddle every day. I give you physical affection like breathing." 

"Oh did I say physical affection? I meant sex Jonginnie, all these years without sex. Besides you have no room to get particular with me, my love. There are still a lot of things we have to talk about and I still don't know how I feel about all of this. I think I might be angry. I'll have to think about it. But for now I guess we better get going."

"You aren't going to ask me to explain myself?" 

"I don't need to", Taemin shrugged, "and I'm sure explanations are forth coming. Whatever the fuck they are." 

"You could have asked for anything, I would have given it to you Taeminnie" 

Taemin shrugged, "I don't need anything, just you... We'll sort out the rest as we go. Let's go get dressed and get ready. Wherever you're going I'm going. I'm not losing you again." 

With the three of them working together, they got sorted out pretty quickly. Taemin and Jongin had years of training in packing quick and efficiently. Kai was a quick learner and a genuine help. The former wore travel clothes, comfortable, stylish, utilitarian. Kai really had no idea how to pack for a trip with no planning, he was a space pilot. He could kick an asteroid's ass at near speed of light but he was totally useless for this. After a couple misfires, Taemin took over. He shoved Kai in a pair of comfy jeans, sneakers, and one of his own less used plain black tees. He said it was to weird to see Kai wearing all of Jongin's clothes so that was the end of that. He'd spent his remembered life in a leather crop top, this was more than fine. 

They ate breakfast before they left. It was more than a little awkward between the three of them. None of them knew exactly how to act around each other, especially while running from an invisible assailant with a super powered space clone accompanied by several years of unspoken emotions in several different directions... or something. It was to put it mildly very weird. 

Taemin finished eating first, he was in work mode fundamentally, which meant he was not fucking around, no matter how relaxed or cheerful he seemed. He tossed his spoon in his bowl and leaned back to get a better look at Nini and... Kai. Very Weird. 

"So where exactly are we going in the middle of the night, in the middle of the week, all three of us immediately recognizable as A list idols even dressed down in hats and masks? Nevermind that you two are... Whatever you are." 

"Well, we were thinking that maybe the easiest way would be to teleport us the farthest away he's ever been.", Kai pointed at Jongin with his fork as he took another bite. 

Taemin watched the two of them eating. It was eerily similar. Jongin had dancer's posture, and his... clone didn't. Still Taemin could see a million similarities in the way they spoke and thought... The way they looked at him. It put him on edge. He tried to center himself. 

"So what California? ... I'm sorry for being so confrontational, this morning had been a lot for me, for all of us. I guess. I know we're going to have to work together... Like we're each other's members. So I'm not trying to punish anyone. I'm just struggling to emotionally catch up with myself. I hope that makes sense. That sounds like a good idea, better than any I can think of. Should we go after you finish eating, is I guess the next question." 

Before either Jongin or Kai could answer, Taemin's phone started to ring from the other room, 

"It's just staff", Taemin got up to go get it. Jongin and Kai looked at each with open fear on their faces. 

"No Taeminnie! Don't get it. We don't know who is coming or how they are related to the company. We have to go right now. Right Right Now!" 

"Shit! The Bag!", Kai basically leapt over the kitchen island, bounding through the spacious apartment to get Taemin's bag. Taemin and Jongin made blandly impressed faces at each other which dissolved into laughter. They were going to be ok. The phone stopped ringing.

"You sure about this Taeminnie? NGDA 2 hasn't even come out yet...", Jongin tried his best to not look desperately needy. He doubted it worked, not with Taemin anyway. 

"Oh well shit, Yeah now that you mention my magnum opus, fuck the love of my life running away forever to fight monsters with his fucking clone, fuck my own life maybe. Gotta hustle those sales.", Taemin blinked in polite annoyance at him.

"That's not what I meant" 

Kai careened back into the room. 

"He knows want you meant. He knows what he meant. You two are going to have to renegotiate your relationship dynamics later because we have to go. Taemin... ssi ... shit. Shake it off Kai. Ok, Jongin will hold the image of where he's going in his mind, we have to hold hands tightly until he gets to the right door or we could get lost in there forever, ok?" 

Taemin shivered but nodded his understanding. He took Jongin's hand first, offering him a brief, passionate look, Jongin understood and returned it. Kai got tired of waiting or just didn't want to watch them be basically married. He took Taemin's hand, it was small and strong in Kai's. Now was not the time for pining. 

"Close your eyes Taeminnie, until the motion sensation stops, it can make you queasy at first", Taemin closed his eyes. Jongin and Kai looked at each other. They blinked.

Jongin had never brought so much with him porting before. It was making his thoughts feel slow and tangled, like a piece of overheating electronics. Both Taemin and Kai were still with him, that was all that mattered. Everything felt so slowwww to him. He felt slow to him. Dimly he could hear Kai explaining this nether space to Taemin. Sound was distorted to him too. Wub wub wub.

There was a sharp pain in his brain, time and space spun back into focus. He turned around to look down the endless hallway of doors, in the distance the lights went out. A familiar sense of malice crawled through his veins. Jongin and Kai instantly recognized it as the same entity that had attacked X-EXO. They turned to run, pulling Taemin along with them. 

Panic washing over him, Jongin realized he'd lost his focus and the door, everything they were heading for was just gone. Endless miles of doors telescoped out in front of them. Another bank of lights went out behind them. 

"Fuck! I lost it! I lost the door!" 

"Find another one! Hold the place you need in your mind, follow the fucking thread, and do it fast!", Kai yelled as he ran. 

Another bank of lights went out behind them, the darkness had the loudest silence imaginable. Jongin's heart thundered in his ears. Taemin's tiny hand was in his, he looked beside him. He could not let anything happen to Taemin. Visualize the need, follow the thread. Taemin - Taemin a safe place for for Taemin... and Kai too now. He named the need, held it in his mind. A smoky purple thread wound around his body and shot out in front of him. At the end of the purple thread a blood red door came into focus. Another bank of lights went out, the silence screamed behind them. 

"There, down the hall! The red one! The red one is the one!" 

Please please just keep Taemin safe. He owed him that much. Nothing else was bearable. They ran faster. The darkness bloomed wet and heavy, the silence raged. 

Jongin slammed physically into the door, opened it, picked Taemin up around the waist, kicked Kai through, and jumped through himself, pulling door closed behind them. For a split second there was a bone splintering crunch on the other side of the door, and then they were tumbling back into real space. They landed in a pile on top of Kai. 

Jongin's vision came into focus, a full moon hung heavy and low in the sky, plainly visible through the trees. They made it. One of them screamed in victory at the trees. They made it. They were alive and together. Where the fuck were they? He tried to gather his wits and reorient himself. He really needed to work on the fucking emergency landings. 

Taemin squirmed out from under him, unsurprisingly the first one to put his shit back together.

"Holy Shit. We made it! You even still have the bag!", Taemin pointed at the slowly sitting up Kai who was indeed still clutching Taemin's go bag, "ahaha! Oh my fuck! Jonginnie baby, we're alive! That was the scariest thing I have ever experienced!!! I think we almost died! Ahhhh", he did an extremely Taemin celebratory dance to the sky. 

Jongin finally stilled his spinning head and managed to get his limbs to cooperate with him. He told himself this was no different than dancing on no sleep. He would be fine. He stood up slowly only to be practically bowled over again by a very giddy and wound up Taemin. He shoved Jongin backwards with a wicked smirk, until they slammed into a tree. Taemin kissed him. A kiss that was all teeth and strong demanding fingers. 

Taemin leaned back just enough to give Jongin some breathing room, "Shall I stop My Nini?" His Nini. Jongin shivered. His heart pounding in his throat. He knew they shouldn't, that something was after them, that Kai was around somewhere, that this was not the time for make up sex. But Taemin has conditioned Nini to his adrenaline loving ways a life time ago... they'd always been a little reckless together, a little wild, and it had been so very long since Taemin had claimed him. He let all the fear drain out of his body. Let it be just the two of them and the sky for just a little while.

"No please Minnie. I love you so much it hurts every day. I think I faded a little every for missing you. My heart has been half dead for so long. Please, wake me up. Make me yours again." 

Taemin's smile was proud, almost predatorial, and full of so much love. He'd been a fool to ever let go of this, them, their hearts. Never again. 

Taemin knew just how to make Nini dance for him. He always had. 

\---- 

Kai was a little embarrassed to admit even to himself that he'd thought Taemin was mad and gonna whip Jongin's ass when he shoved him out of his line of sight. Right up until the keening and begging started. He felt... envious? Hungry? Something nebulous and difficult to define. Well. That was a weird emotional reaction. Fucking feelings. 

He set the bag down carefully and went poking around near by to find a good clearing and give them some privacy. By the time they rejoined him, he'd set up a camp of sorts for them and even divided up the snacks Taemin had insisted on. No wonder he- Jongin was so in love with him. Taemin was... special. But there was no sense brooding over it. They were arm in arm when they found him and the little clearing he'd set up in. He gave them their dinner without unnecessary comment and let them eat. The woods around them seemed old and thick. Fog was rolling in now too. Finally he couldn't take it anymore. They hadn't noticed, orgasms probably made them sleepy or a little high... or whatever because he was not thinking about it. 

"Guys, I hate to interrupt your post near death experience hand job euphoria but look up.", He pointed at the sky. 

Jongin scowled at him but Taemin just waggled his eyebrows and popped the last of his food in his mouth. Fuck. Kai looked away blushing for reasons he didn't even understand fully. 

"Holy Shit. Taeminnie look" 

Kai was just relieved to have Taemin's knowing eyes off of him. He watched as they had the same realizations he'd had when he saw. 

"There's two moons here", Nini stage whispered in awe.

"Yeah, we're not on our earth anymore.", Taemin's nonchalance made Kai cough in surprise. 

"You knew?", Kai was more than a little shocked

"Sure. It was pretty obvious", he leaned back on Jongin to get comfortable.

"But you still...?", he gestured at them, why couldn't he stop acting like a teenager? He was a space pirate for fucksake. Taemin focused on him, being under his scrutiny felt intensely vulnerable... and warm. Fuck.

"Sure, would we somehow be magically home and safe if I had not come in his mouth? Is that what you are implying?" 

Nini sleepily surged forward and bear hugged him, "Taeminnie stop it. He's just not used to it yet. Don't take it so personally just because he's wearing my face. He's not me. He doesn't understand yet. That's all. You can't hold him to a Nini standard" 

"Was that what I was doing?" Taemin wrinkled his nose in the cutest way possible and shoved Jongin down flat on his back so he could lay on top of him. It couldn't possibly be comfortable for Jongin but he didn't complain. They were making baby faces at each other and giggling. It felt a little like an emotional ritual. They were instantly asleep when they were done. He felt invasive just being here with them sometimes, but it was hard to look away too. The fact that they could be that happy just being close, under these circumstances. No wonder Nini's Baekhyun was always staring at his asshole X-EXO members. It was like watching the best movie you'd ever seen, knowing you were supposed to be in it, but weren't. 

It made his heart hurt. He stared at the two moons late in to the night. He even convinced himself it was because he was on watch. The wolves howling around them seemed forlorn too. Somehow it gave him a little comfort, though he didn't know why. 

He was going to need a miracle to get through this without dying of loneliness. 

He wondered if the wolves had any answers, if they could understand. 

Their cries echoed in his ears long after dawn lit the sky.

He felt a little less alone. 

It was enough.


	3. Fading Light

Falling asleep laying literally on top of Jongin like a particularly pretty and loveable body pillow, just like they did when they were kids, bonding over an overwhelming devotion to dance, and nervousness about people, brought back a life time of memories for Taemin. He still wasn't sure how he felt about Jonginnie lying to him about his feelings and making a unilateral decision about their relationship without his input. It hurt... But hadn't he done fundamentally the same thing? Hadn't he also minimized his feelings and played along knowing full well that nothing was ever that simple with them? He really wanted to get a good brood going about it but now was not the time. A lifetime of training took over, he was asleep as soon as he chose worrying later.

____________||||||

"All I hear is static"

"Shit, ok I'm getting it tuned in properly, he should come around any minute" 

"He doesn't look any different" 

"Move" *Jonginnie?*

"I want to see" 

"I don't care" *Jonginnie... What?* 

"But I want to see him all smol" 

"Ten you know it has to be me he sees first, now if you don't move your ass I will tell your father. Now move!" *Jonginnie? Ten?*

"Aww but Dad You're no fun, and anyway my father is right there. Your threats are empty and we both know it" 

"Tennie we do not have time for this, now move he's waking up. Hey, it's ok Taemin ah. You can open your eyes now. Everything is fine." *Jonginnie?* 

Taemin opened his eyes, to find Jongin hovering over him with overt concern in his eyes. Jongin was.... so strong again... like when they filmed Tiger Inside. He was still a little bitter about not getting to ride his Nini when he was so buff...but now maybe he could make up for it. He licked his lips, contemplating all the making up for lost time they could do now. Taemin adored every part of Jongin, one way or the other. Still an opportunity was an opportunity.

*You're so strong again Jonginnie. Pick me up* 

Jongin laughed, "I forgot how cute you were when you were sleepy" 

"Lee Taemin, You can't just go traipsing around the known universe stealing all the Jongins. You have two already. If you don't stop trying to seduce my husband, I will eat you. Keep your teeny tiny baby hands to your damn self" The voice was familiar to Taemin but he couldn't quite place it, collecting Jongin's? his brain itched. Husband?!?! 

*Excuse me?? Husband?? What??* 

"Fuck this whole absurd comedy routine, give me that fucking mirror right now", The voice was so familiar, Taemin couldn't see them to place it though. 

A mirror came into his vision, his face was there as one would expect. But he looked different... There was a hardness there that he only had during a performance. His hair was blonde instead of black and he still had the pretty green glitter make up on his forehead somehow. He couldn't quite place it...wait the cropped denim jacket, the attitude, the make up, paternal buff Jonginnie... SuperM?

His mouth asked him, "do you understand yet Taemin?" ... He was getting there. 

*You're not me* 

"Correct! Pretty boy gets a gold star!" 

Jongin took his other hand, the one not holding the mirror up, "Babe we really don't have time for arguing with yourself over petty shit and you know it" 

Taemin's face, the other Taemin's face looked conflicted in the mirror. 

"As much as I hate to break up this family reunion, we need to talk Taemin ssi", Baekhyun, strode in to his field of vision, gloriously leaderly with dark ocean teal hair and an air of pure confidence. 

Well that confirmed it, somehow like Kai was X-EXO, these people were really SuperM. Which meant no beefcake Jonginnie for him he supposed. He was only slightly disappointed. Whatever the hell was going on, his reawakened libido would have to wait. 

*Ok, I think I'm on track now. Tell me what you need.*, It was as easy as breathing for Taemin to fall into business mode.

"Shit is going to start happening fast now Taemin, we don't know the details or we could possibly just fix it, but we do know you are directly involved. You have to pay attention to every detail. We don't know why but this whole mess hinges on you and your particular band of sexy SuperM misfits. Just pay attention to everything, every detail and be ready once it becomes clear. Because no one else can turn the tide of this war" 

*What war? Be ready for what? People keep telling us to be ready, it's less helpful than you think*

"Well, you better be really ready then Taemin ah, we'll try to call again if we get any new information." 

*Wait, why me?* 

"It always had to be you. Your bridge to the universe is the only one that brings every element together to make all of this possible." 

"30 seconds then we lose the connection!", Taemin was pretty sure that was Taeyong, from somewhere behind a giant bank of computers bathed in sickly green light.

"Take care of yourself Taeminnie", Jongin smiled affectionately at him

"Nini Bear, Baby, I will fuck you up if you keep flirting with him", The other Taemin scowled in the mirror. 

"I should hope so", Jongin winked at them both 

"Just be ready Taemin, have faith in yourself and your instincts. You know and understand more than you think.", Baekhyun was still trying to talk business. 

Everything was getting blurry.

The other Taemin purred at Jongin pulling him in by his belt buckle

"Damn it", Baekhyun snapped at them, "in every fucking dimension you two are fucking exhibitionists. Could you please keep it in your pants for 5 seconds?" 

They both laughed loud, love ringing in his ears. 

Then there was only static 

______________||||||

Taemin woke up with a gasp. 

That was weird, much to clear and logical for a dream. Everything seemed back to normal now, such as it was. He was still laying on Jonginnie who seemed like his regular old Jonginnie self. It was a little chilly, early morning if the fog wasn't tricking him. Kai was asleep propped up against a tree on the other side of the clearing. 

What the fuck was that? Was it real? Should he tell Jongin and Kai? Be ready for what?

Get ready for fucking what? What damn war? Was there even a war? How could he find out? He'd only been on the run from unknowable horrors for a few hours and already he was irritated with how unprofessional this whole disaster was. If he was in charge every single possible angle would be calculated and calculated again. 

Well he might as well get up, there was no getting back to sleep now. Jongin whined and clutched at him in his sleep. That warmed his heart a bit. He sat watching Jonginnie sleep for a few minutes, just enjoying the love high which he hadn't really been able to do without guilt for a very long time. Nini was half awake and restless, he never really wanted to be awake when he first woke up. His shirt was just rumpled enough to flash Taemin a couple inches of perfectly toned stomach. He spent all to long just staring in longing before he remembered he was allowed to touch again. 

His hands were chilled but Nini's stomach was so very warm. The whimpering and wiggly stretches were intended as an invitation... And who was he to decline such a polite and thoughtful invitation? 

\-------

A small gaspy sound woke Kai from his restless sleep. It took him a second of listening to identify the sound in case it was the darkness or... or in case it was the wolves he'd been hearing all night. There was rustling across from him which identified the source of the sound as one of the annoying love birds. Well that was fine then he was safe enough. 

Or so he thought, Taemin had been awake for 32 seconds approximately and was already eyeballing Jongin like half eaten cake. Ugh. No. He was just going to get up quietly and go anywhere else... Look for food, they needed food right? Even the pretty boys couldn't survive on cum alone presumably... Though obviously they were motivated to try. Argh. He really really had to shake this jealous ex-boyfriend bullshit, it was the most embarrassing celebrity crush on the face of the planet. Not because they were literally famous on their world, but because seeing a man he had intimate memories of, even if they were not his own, being intimate with someone who was functionally him.... it was doing weird things to his head...to his heart. It built an emotional story that had never happened and left him with a lot of unnecessary and confusing feelings that he had zero experience navigating.

He stilled, listening to the woods. He thought he'd seen something on the edge of his vision for a split second. But it must have been alien inter-dimensional anxiety because he couldn't find anything to explain it. 

Well, whatever, his plan was simple enough, if there were wolves here, surely there would be berries or something recognizable as food... right? Something to feed them while they figured out what to do next. He was not keen to port after what happened on their trip to wherever this was. He could still feel the darkness chasing them, that crunch. Who knew what was waiting for them, thinking about it made him shiver. It could wait until they had some sort of plan... though he had no idea how useful professional sex pots would be... That wasn't fair. He was just... jealous. Who knew jealousy made him so petty.

There was a soft wuff, this time he definitely did see something, a flash of movement. But whatever was watching or pacing him wasn't interested in showing itself. His only choice was be very aware and very very careful. They had to find food and water. Eventually through careful navigation and three more near run ins with... something. He magically delivered upon himself a berry bush. Fuck yes. 

He didn't know what to do at first, but finally settled on taking his shirt off, tying a knot at the waist to act as a bag. Picking berries actually ended up being relatively pleasant work. It kept his body busy which allowed his brain to break out of its fixation cycle. That was a particular blessing considering the fixation was Jongin's memories of Taemin, and his bubbling resentment for having never experienced that level of emotional intimacy with anyone, probably not even himself. He wanted all that too. 

But first he'd have to get them fed, hydrated, and then they needed to talk about what was next. One thing at a time. He'd been gone for a long time. Despite his annoyance with his own out of control and impractical emotions, he hoped that Taemin and Jongin were ok. It maybe made him chuckle a little thinking of the two sexy lost lambs sitting in that clearing being precious and overwhelmed. But that was petty so he pushed it out of his mind and walked a little faster. He thought he might be getting a blister, he was used to teleporting everywhere. Damn. 

He had expected to come back to their sleeping spot to find the pretty boys angry that he'd left them alone, scared, crying maybe... or fooling around. Fooling around was definitely an option. Which is why what he found was shocking... and humbling. Maybe he actually was a dick, because none of that was going on. They were working. Not only were they working they had obviously been working for awhile. They'd made it... Kinda nice, and they had collected some edible flowers, some planty things, and they had water bottles? Where the fuck? He owed them an apology... but also just how? 

"How... I ... I'm sorry how did you? Water...", Kai was at an almost complete loss for words, "oh but I found berries... They look like... Umm I don't know they look edible."

He held the bag formerly known as his shirt out to them, embarrassed. Taemin bounced on his toes in excitement, took the impromptu bag, peering into it like it was a Christmas gift bag and not his purple stained t-shirt filled with half mashed berries of some sort. 

"ooh Jonginnie look black berries! These will go great with the greens and flowers. I admit to liking the idea of surviving on beautiful flowers in a haunted forest. I might use that concept when we get back. Forests are scary... of course they probably won't scare me anymore after all of this. That makes me a little sad, I won't have that strong emotional reaction anymore, you know?" 

"To answer your sort of question Kai ssi, we found a creek down the hill and I always keep spare water bottles in the side pocket of all my bags. You get used to being prepared for anything.... Even being stranded in a creepy old ghost forest with your best friend slash boy friend and his not so evil twin. These will be really helpful and delicious. Thank you" 

Taemin stood in front of Kai radiating genuine joy at the prospect of eating beautiful foraged food in a creepy forest with his life mate + 1 clone type. Jongin was wrapped around his shoulders glistening with labor earned sweat, beaming happily at Taemin's excitement. Kai was ashamed of himself, sure he wasn't used to these feelings but it was no excuse for the unfettered nastiness he'd allowed to overtake his common sense. 

"I'm sorry Taemin... both of you actually. I let my jealousy cloud my judgement, and I have no excuse. I still have enough of his memories in my head to know better than to think you'd be useless out here, but... I did. I underestimated you and I'm sorry." 

Taemin and Kai just laughed, a lot and loudly. That was a little uncalled for, he was trying to be sincere, to be less of a dick, and was way to hungry and tired to deal with this particular reaction. 

"Excuse me?" 

Taemin stopped laughing, and bit his lip, still glowing with fondness. 

"You're hungry aren't you? Nevermind I know you're hungry. I can tell. We weren't laughing at you directly. It's just that, everyone misjudges us. Everyone has misjudged us our whole adult lives, and to have the first sincere apology either of us have ever heard outside of family, members, and staff, for misjudging either one of us, to come out of Jonginnie's face! It's just to surreal. So we laughed but I am sorry for hurting your feelings because I can see that you are being sincere.", Taemin paused, stretched to brush at Kai's bangs gently, "It's weird for me too you know, for both of us. I'm not used to seeing that face and not hovering over it until its full of smiles again. I expect it's going to take some time... and in the mean time maybe a little grace is in order. I know I have room in my heart for kindness to all the Jonginnies in all the universes so I think that's ok. We'll just have to work together on working together.... Did you dye your hair regularly in that luxury bunker you lived in for however long Kai ssi?" 

Kai tried to process all of that, Taemin was really really fundamentally fucking impressive and going mach 10 all the time. He tried his best to not feel like he'd been left in the dust. He knew Taemin wasn't a toy he saw another kid playing with and wanted for himself. He was not going to be sad about this anymore. People were not possessions. Taemin could be appreciated from anywhere. He really was that phenomenal. Suddenly he understood how Nini had been able to love him from near by for so long without any assurance of reciprocation. Oh, well. Feelings like this were so much more complex and nuanced than he ever expected. 

Jongin giggled into Taemin's neck. 

"Taeminnie you shorted him out, is that what I look like when I'm completely Taemin-whelmed?" 

"Taemin-whelmed? Really? Yes that is exactly what you look like when I emotionally overwhelm you", Taemin made a face at Jongin then took a deep breath so he wasn't giggling anymore, "Kai ssi are you ok? Did I say something to bother you? 

"I... No actually you didn't. I got some much needed clarity is all. I didn't dye my hair no, it's naturally green? Are those not your natural hair colors? 

They laughed again in unison, leaning into each other... it was nice. He could see all the years that built that trust and easy emotional intimacy telescoping in his mind's eye, in what was left of Jongin's memory that was still taking residence in his head. Maybe he could sort this emotional morass out after all. He cleared his throat. 

"Well since I'm on a hilarious roll here, I might as well ask then. You guys put in so much work here to get it more comfortable for us, were you wanting to stay here for awhile... or, move in here or something?" 

They laughed even harder, but for once, Kai didn't feel like a bitter outsider. He realized that all he really had to do to be allowed in their ridiculously good natured circle of affection, was to allow himself to be. That realization made him laugh too. Why was he tormenting himself for absolutely no reason? Sex? The words 'I love you'? They were offering him something equally ethereal and sacrosanct, family. 

Jongin must have recognized some of what he was thinking or feeling because he looped his free arm around Kai and pulled him into a tight side hug, and then rested his head on Kai's shoulder, still laughing. That sent Taemin into another gale of laughter, they all collapsed into a pile of hysterical stress relief laughing. Every time it seemed like it might slow down, someone would try to explain the absurd situation, and they'd start all over again. By the time they had gotten it out of their system, they were all laying breathless in the grass. Unsurprising to anyone Taemin was the first person to get back down to business.

"No these are not our natural hair colors", Taemin ran his hair through his black hair, fluffing it every which way, "I have red hair and Jonginnie has black hair." 

"Taeminnie", Jongin laughed, "you have black hair too, it's just natural black hair." 

"My hair is red", Taemin blinked in irritation at this obvious slander. 

"It is not it hasn't been red since you were a baby" 

"It's dark red! You can see the red highlights in the sun. It's just very dark red" 

"Well... That's true about the sun... But it's still almost black", Jongin chuckled and kissed Taemin's temple, who elbowed him in retaliation but otherwise ignored him very pointedly. 

"No, don't be patronizing. I know my own hair color. I'm ignoring you Nini. Kai ssi no we weren't expecting to stay here, maybe a couple days so we can scout properly before we move on. We can't just live in a spooky wood forever. But we wanted it to be as comfortable as possible while we were here." 

"You did all this knowing it would be temporary?", Kai was astonished. 

"Sure", Jongin shrugged easily, "We've both worked a lot harder than this for a lot less." 

" Huh.... Ok, I guess that makes sense, but how the fuck did you know about all those edible plants and... well... everything?", Kai waved broadly at the now fairly cozy if sparse camping area. 

"Oh! The internet! Naver... Youtube... a couple podcasts? It was a whole thing.", Taemin was obviously proud despite his semi dismissal, "I don't sleep much, I just got curious about what sort of edible plants grow naturally in Korea... that kind of spiraled in to the whole survival thing. Honestly Kibum Hyung has been dragging me over the water bottles for ages. I can't wait to tell him they paid off... If we make it back I guess." 

For the first time since their arrival Taemin's enthusiasm for everything seemed to flag. It occurred to Kai, that maybe the perfect and upbeat demeanor was a coping mechanism after years of it being his primary method of interfacing with the public, especially when under duress of any sort. No wonder Jongin doted on him. 

It was hard to not want to protect him, provide him whatever ease he would allow himself. Not because he was a helpless baby, but because he was so brilliant, gifted, and driven towards constant improvement that he had difficulty accommodating his own needs. Wow, apparently getting lost in the woods with your better half and his better half was good for the soul and self awareness. 

*Act Now and You too can be a Better Person, crash land in the dimension of your choice, for only three easy installments of your entire future.* Yaaaah. Kai snorted at himself and tried to actually pay attention to his worried... friends. They were friends now right? Getting there at least?

"We're going to get back baby. We will figure out what was chasing us, and how to get back. We will. You and I, we don't miss do we?", Jongin rubbed broad comforting circles on Taemin's chest, "Kai ah... yaaaii blargle that feels very very weird, wowwww, I was thinking we could scout tomorrow, touch base as we go. I'm concerned about food long term here. Artistic integrity aside irt to flower as food and metaphor. I really want to find something more sustaining soon."

"I'm usually the extensive plan person and I can see you probably are too but I really don't think we have anything at all we can do until we know... well anything. So for now I'm thinking the best plan of action is to find as many stable resources as possible and do some very careful figuring this place out. Once we have some idea of what's around us, we can slowly start moving towards anything... once we are not at risk of starving to death... If that sounds ok to you."

Taemin poked Jongin and cleared his throat. 

"Oh yeah and, I don't really remember enough about space pirate sleep culture so I hope this isn't unforgivably rude or anything but it was chilly last night. You should sleep with us. You'll stay warmer."

Jongin smiled gentle and reassuring. He had an earnest kindness about him that was so genuine, it almost hurt Kai's feelings. Seeing the person you would have been if you had been raised with people who loved you and supported your passions was a little more real than he was entirely ready for. He remembered the last time he'd slept in a bed with another person, with Sehun or Kyungsoo and Minseok. A tight painful knot grew in his throat, choking him. Tears prickled at the corners of his eyes. Dammit. He coughed weakly trying to hold off the flood of emotions he was suddenly hit with.

"You said there was a creek near by, down the hill I think? Is it enough to bathe?", Kai just needed a break. It was to much. Everything was to much. 

"I.. yeah...Kai I didn't-", Nini pointed down the slope, obviously confused and worried.

"It's ok Jonginnie, let him go, he just needs a little time." 

Kai managed to nod stiffly in thanks, paused, grabbed a handful of berries and as many leafy flower foods as he could easily shove in his mouth, and stumbled nearly unthinking to the little creek. Taemin had been right. He was hungry, and didn't self regulate well when he was. Taemin. Fuck.

He sat for a few minutes, eating his berries and just letting himself cry. It had been an intense week. His family was gone. He didn't even know if his EXO was ok. The thought made him sick with fear and loss. He'd been telling himself that Luhan said they would be fine. But a little tiny part of him was screaming as loud as possible that leaving them had been the wrong choice. Nevermind that they really hadn't had any choice. He couldn't help it. He might have been catty with them a lot but they were his family. Not knowing if they were ok, was gnawing at him. He just couldn't contain all the fear and sadness. 

Actually, that was probably the reason he'd been so fixated on Jongin and Taemin. Giving himself anything to think about beyond that looming worry, so he didn't have to face this exact moment. The moment he had to acknowledge that his chosen family, the only family he remembered could be dead because of a mistake he made. Heartbreak crashed over him in great wracking waves until he was just to tired to cry anymore. He couldn't cry himself to death out here no matter how much he wanted to right now. 

Luhan said they would probably cross paths again. That meant he had to get on the damn path. Time to get moving, he'd felt sorry for himself enough lately. He couldn't make the feelings go away, but he could control the way he responded to those emotions. He could control what he did now, and how he chose to act. Realizing that gave him a small grain of something akin to peace. He wasn't ok, but he could get there again. Once his tangled and to long suppressed feelings had some time to breathe he guessed.

Having taken some time to unravel some of the mess inside him, he realized very belatedly that his shirt was still full of berries, back at their camp. That was the tipping point, he was done feeling sorry for himself. It wasn't doing anyone any good, including himself. Out of habit, he folded his pants neatly and set them on the small embankment, though that seemed a little silly given the circumstances. Being naked in the woods was... freeing. If he was here alone he might go on a stroll just to feel the evening breeze on his skin. Speaking of evening, the sun was going down soon. He hoped it wasn't going to get to cold before he was dry again. 

The creek was actually just the right temperature to be both soothing and refreshing. It was also just deep enough that he could splash around, rinse himself off and rest his extremely achey muscles. Despite his underlying upset, the soft reassurance of the water whispering over his skin as it flowed away, with the sky darkening overhead, felt healing. Harmony with himself and this world finally trickling through his neural pathways. He was just contemplating trying to maybe float away when he was startled by a quiet huff. He startled and halfway drown himself with all his thrashing around. Cool. He was very cool. Thank fuck Taemin and Jongin weren't there to see him coughing half a gallon of water back out where it belonged. 

Once he'd wiped enough water out of his eyes to be able to see, there was a small wolf sitting primly on top of his pile of clothes. It was surprisingly serene, watching him closely. Though he knew he should, Kai didn't feel afraid at all. The wolf's dark brown eyes were curious, maybe playful. Plus it was just difficult to imagine the wolf sitting fussily on his jeans, head cocked so far to the side one ear almost went all wonky, blinking curiously at him while the very tip of his tail twitched furiously, being dangerous. Really the wolf looked like a house cat who'd followed their person into the bathroom while they bathed and was concerned concerned they could drown. Actually he had just been coughing so for all he knew, this wolf did actually think he might drown. The idea almost made him laugh. He held up his hands to show the wolf he was all in one piece and ok. 

"So you're the one who's been keeping me company huh? ... and maybe helping me some? I'm ok by the way, but thanks for being concerned'"

"Look at me talking to a wolf. I'm officially ridiculous. Sorry buddy, you're doing great. I don't think you're ridiculous, I definitely am though. In my defense, things have been very weird lately." 

The wolf laid down with another huff. 

"Well geez I'm so sorry I haven't met your Royal Highness's standards. Please feel free to find someone else to follow every where if you find me so disappointing." The wolf whined the tiniest bit but didn't move. He'd been expecting something more somehow, but it was ridiculous cute. Wait, the wolf was not responding to him. Of course the wolf didn't respond. It was a coincidence, and anyway what did he think it would do if it could? Declare it's undying love? Maybe he needed sleep, it was possible he was delirious after all. 

The wolf appeared unmoved by his indignation or embarrassed confusion, thank goodness. Sitting here talking to a wolf that was possibly going to eat him, while naked in an inter-dimensional creek, was probably not the best idea he'd ever had but it was the happiest idea he'd had in a long time so he decided to go with it. 

"I don't know why you're here Wolfie but I appreciate it. I don't think I realized how badly I needed the distraction... or the company. So thanks Wolfie" 

The wolf just looked at him. It was relaxing. He floated quietly in the creek, under the moon, with a surprisingly friendly (maybe) wolf looking on, for awhile. He actually felt more fully human than he had in a long time. He even started singing quietly to himself, then a little louder to the wolf, who seemed to enjoy it as much as a wolf could. At some point the breeze picked up enough that he was getting a chill. It was time to stop playing. But the break had been worth it, he felt much more ready to take on this weird terrifying adventure than he had been. 

"Ok wolfie I have to get out now ok, I'll move very slowly as long you don't bite... anything important, we'll be fine. But, and this part is essential. I am going to need my pants back, ok?" He wasn't sure what he was expecting but he'd gotten used to talking with the wolf, and it couldn't hurt anything right? 

He moved extremely slowly so as not to startle his new friend. When he'd mentioned his pants the wolf had gotten up, and for one earth shattering second he thought it could understand him, but when they trotted down to the water's edge and paced like a nervous parent he realized it was responding to his movement not his words. Of course. Ridiculous. For a minute it seemed like Wolfie would stay put but when he reached the shallow water and stood up. The wolf yelped and ran off, probably because he was suddenly so scary tall. But still, rude. He yelled after it, 

"SORRY WOLFIE, I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE SHY!! ... THANKS FOR THE EGO BOOST THOUGH BUDDY!" 

A wolf howled in the distance. He imagined it was Wolfie cussing him, and exploded into more laughter. Whew wow, what the hell was going on with him.

Kai remembered at that moment that he was not alone out here and clamped his hand over his mouth, still giggling. He felt much better. Tomorrow they would split responsibility and hopefully by the end of the day they would be in a less dire position. He wiggled back into his jeans, washed his socks in the stream and headed back. 

When he got back to camp there was a little allotment of berries and the last clean t-shirt. He wasn't sure why that made him so emotional. But it would have to wait because he was chilly. He slid into the butter soft cotton t-shirt, finished his berries in the dark, and wondered how exactly he was supposed to lay down with them when they were already asleep. Taemin was literally sleeping on top of Jongin again. He tried to imagine having that much patience for another person. But Taemin wasn't just any other person was he? Kai understood that more and more with every passing moment. It was like their souls were in some sort of resonance. The fact that he was a spare was just unlikely bad luck.

Just as he decided that it would be easier to sleep propped up against a tree again then bothering them, even if it was chilly. Jongin stretched a little and sleepy grumble pouted something that might have been 'come here', he held his arm out side to make room in his armpit for Kai. It's not like he could really say no... to himself... right? 

So he laid down with his head on Jongin's shoulder, which would give him an entire identity crisis if he wasn't so tired, admittedly. But he was to tired for any more crisis tonight. Taemin wriggled around a little, kissed his forehead, and slung an arm and leg over him. Lee Taemin human blanket, folks. Kai expected to be uncomfortable, claustrophobic, wrecked with envy, or worst inappropriately turned on. None of that happened, he was fine, it was really cozy, friendly... or maybe familial was a better word. He was asleep before he could follow the thought- 

\-------

7

\------

6

\-----

5

\----

4

\---

3

\--

2

-

1

La la la la la la la la

"Taemin?"

Kai didn't understand why everything was so pitch black... 

The silence weighed him down... 

He was so sleepy... 

Maybe he should just sleep... 

This wasn't... 

None of this made sense... 

La la la la la la la la

"Taemin?"

Why was he so... 

Sleepy... 

He had to get up...

Kai shook his head, trying to make sense of anything, to think more clearly. 

Everything here felt old... and eerily familiar. He followed the feeling or maybe the sound of the haunting voice. There was no other sound in this place. He felt like he'd been swallowed alive in the pitch black silence. 

La la la la la la la la

He felt like he was getting closer to... 

Something

Something in the dark 

Someone? 

He could just barely see a form in the darkness. He knew he should be afraid, terrified after everything he'd been through. 

He wasn't

As he got closer 

It was a person 

A man 

Maybe? 

In red...

Maybe?

Had he been singing? 

La la la la la la la la

"Taemin?"

He whirled around, startled. It was Taemin. But what the fuck was wrong with his eyes? 

"Taemin, where are we? Why are your eyes glowing red? Wtf is going on?" 

Taemin cocked his head slowly examining Kai, confusion etched on his face. He moved so slowly like he was at the bottom of the ocean, reaching out to touch Kai's face.

"You can hear me? I -" 

aaaaaaaAaaaAAAAAHHHHHHHH/////////// 

AAAAHHHHHH

"Ahahaha yes! I have a lighter!" 

Kai's eyes snapped open. He tried to take account of himself. He was laying on the forest floor, tall trees loomed over him. Everything seemed fine. He shivered still feeling out of sorts and freaked out from his nightmare. Nightmare? 

"Oh hey, you're awake! Good morning sleepy head. Jonginnie went to see if he could find some breakfast for us. I just remembered I kept a lighter in there with the bottles. You have one little smoking scandal and suddenly everyone is so touchy about you having a damn lighter. I'm a grown man though Kai. If I want to keep a lighter in my purse I'm gonna you know? I work hard. I don't slack. It's a lighter. Hey are you ok? I'm sorry I'm ranting about inconsequential things. Did you sleep ok?" 

Kai looked at the sky, it was beautiful. He felt... He felt nice, cheerful maybe. He wanted to get started on his day, they had so much to do. 

"Yeah actually. I think I did sleep pretty well. I think I dreamed about something... familiar...wolves? Maybe? It's already gone I guess. But I don't think it was bad. I feel to refreshed this morning. Thank you Taemin ssi. You make a very lovely blanket." 

Taemin laughed happily. 

"You can call me Hyung. It's a bit silly to be so formal after you've slept with me eh?", Taemin squinched his nose at his own scandalousness, "Well this no oversight Is going to be fun for me I can see. Day two and I have both fire and dirty jokes. I am on my way. I bet you dreamed of wolves because they were howling all night. I'm glad to see you're feeling better. I'm off to see about drift wood down by the creek. If Jonginnie comes back please let him know." 

With that Taemin skipped off cheerily humming Danger to himself.

Today felt so bright, anything was possible.

They were going to do this. 

One way or another.


	4. Deeper Than the Darkness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had so many things I wanted to talk to you about the writing of this chapter but I'm so past my bedtime. Ii can't remember. Hopefully in the morning.

Dawn. 

Fuck. 

Hey dawn what's going on? Hey dawn what's going on? Fuck. Nope. Unhelpful quote brain needed to go back where it came from.

Jongin had never really been a fan of waking up, sleeping on the forest floor with Taemin as a blanket, did not change that. He didn't like waking up, and this wake up was just rude. It was to bright, to loud, to uncomfortable. He did not like it at all so he was just going to lay here and fume until the sun went away. 

"Oh hey, you're awake. Should I leave you alone a little longer?", Taemin watched Jongin grimace and laughed, "ok I'm going to go get some water. I'll be back in five or ten minutes. Take your time. I love you." 

Jongin laid on the grass, stewing a little longer, slowly the knots in his stomach became less pointy and aggravated. He was obviously not cut out for morning awareness. Around the time he had started poking around to see if there was anything left to eat, Taemin came bopping back up the hill, cheerful and radiant. He was so beautiful. Fuck. How had he been so lucky for so long? Taemin giving him a second chance was more luck than any man deserved...which they needed to talk about. He'd learned a visceral lesson in lack of communication. A lesson that bled him emotionally for years. He was not going back to that if he could help it. Taemin was so beautiful, he just wanted to kiss him forever, but first things first... Sadly. 

"Taeminnie... We should talk... right?" 

Taemin looked up from his make work, to anyone else he would have looked confident and happy. But Jongin knew better. He couldn't believe he'd lied to himself for so long. Insisting their break up had been for Taemin's benefit. 

"Oh are we talking now Jonginnie? I didn't know we did that?" 

"I understand why you're upset... I'm upset with me too actually. But baby, I really want to do this right this time. You deserve that, you deserve better than I gave you last time so I thought that, I don't know, now would be a good time to clear the air or whatever... to actually be better not just say it and act the same..." 

"Or whatever? ", Taemin fidgeted as he thought, obviously irritated, "Yeah ok, you're right. We should talk" 

Having made the decision he walked over, sat across from Jongin, and waited, face intentionally extremely neutral. Fuck. He was in so much very deserved trouble. 

"You're not going to make this easy on me at all are you Taemin ah?" 

"Should I?"

Taemin peered at him, judging him clearly inadequate in this moment. He did not like this feeling. Fuck they'd both been lying to each other, in different ways, for so long, in some haphazard attempt to make each other's life easier... and it had never worked. It only brought them misery and sadness. They were well past time for a massive change. 

"No, no you're right. You've been doing that for to long. We've both been wasting years, pining for what we could have had all along, but why? I thought you didn't want me as badly, you thought I didn't want you as badly? Or we were afraid? I think that's the real answer for me. I mean I did think at the time that it was a kindness to you... to not make you choose. But I forgot it was your choice to make because I was so afraid that if anything went wrong, I would lose you, dance, my entire world. I just... couldn't bear the fear of a loss that cataclysmic. Taeminnie, I am so so sorry. I won't do that again. I won't treat you like anything other than my best friend, the unequivocal love of my life, and not at all coincidentally, the most brilliant, and creative person I have ever known... or will ever know." 

Taemin relaxed slightly, sliding somewhere from tense anger to tired resignation. It wasn't best, but it was a start. 

"You've gotten very good at romantic speeches over the years you know Jonginnie. I don't know exactly what to make of that. Maybe you've been thinking about everything we should have said for the last few years too. I've thought about this a lot, so much, non-stop actually, since you woke me up and told me you still loved me. I know that one honest talk can't undo all the bad communication habits we have gotten into. I know we will have to be very careful to not slide back into old patterns. But if there is anyone in this world I feel like I can do that with, it's you." 

"I do love you. That doesn't mean I'm not mad at you, because I am. But since we are being honest, I'm mad at myself too. As much as I want so badly to blame this on you alone. I had my part in it too. I hadn't thought about it in awhile, maybe in a way I forgot, maybe in a way I wanted to forget. It made things so much simpler to pretend it was just that you didn't love me like I loved you. But Jonginnie, when you broke up with me, I knew you were afraid and trying to help me in a messy, painful way. I knew and I didn't say anything, I didn't argue with you or fight for us because... ultimately because I thought you might be right, that it would probably be easier if we broke up. I gave up on us so easily and hated every minute of it. Then I felt like I couldn't take it back without admitting that I knew, that I felt that way in the first place. I'm sorry too Jonginnie. You're not the only one who made mistakes back then." 

Taemin was crying a little, which he barely ever did. Jongin knew he needed to comfort him but this was information that was new to him. So new, he... It never once occurred to him that Taemin would have felt like that. He always thought that either Taemin didn't care at all or that Jongin had done all the hurting/ending, that Taemin had experienced it passively, which in retrospect was ridiculous. Taemin had never experienced anything in his life passively... He was really not winning any best friend awards right now. Fuck. 

"Taeminnie Baby, can I hug you right now?" 

Taemin nodded, wiping tears carefully away, to make sure he didn't get to puffy. Damn they had been in it for so long, it was only now that they weren't entrenched in Idol culture, that he could really see how much their upbringing had molded them into the men they were today. He pulled Taemin into his lap, who for once let Jongin fuss over him. He kissed Taemin's ear, relishing them being all right enough for this. It had really always been just the two of them, and the world outside. Thank fuck, at least that hadn't changed.

"You know Taeminnie, it occured to me", Jongin soothed him as much as he could with soft hands and a gentle voice, "that maybe we've both been beating ourselves up over this for so long, that we don't really know what else to do. They always told us, that the pain and fear we were experiencing was our fault for falling in love, a natural consequence of stubbornly refusing to give each other up. But baby, they were the ones who put us in that situation, isolated us from our peers, taught us how to be every kind of desirable... but not anything else, not life skills, not emotional regulation skills, certainly not how to handle falling in love with our best friends and trying to hide that from an adoring but inflexible fan base that would have been beyond scandalized and uprooted our entire lives if they found out for certain... and they almost did find out for certain. They gave us no tools to handle that, so we used what they did give us, the ability to suffer with a smile. I know that I made mistakes, and you say you did too... so maybe we can just let that past... I don't know... be the past, and see if we can love each other here and now like this... and obviously with a lot more open communication. So much communication." 

Taemin lay curled up in his lap for awhile, clutching his arm. Jongin could tell he was thinking it all through, that was fine, Taemin was not a person who just agreed to things. It was a really good sign that he was making him wait for a decision really. Much less worrisome than the previous brittle cheer. Eventually he sat up, wiped his eyes one more time, kissed Jongin's face, still a little sniffy. 

"I talked to another me the other night", Taemin was 90% serious, and 12% smugly amused. Never let it be said that Lee Taemin was not adaptable. 

"I'm sorry you what now?" 

"I think you're right, we didn't know then and that really wasn't either of our faults, now we do so we can do it differently. I want that alot. Very much a lot Jonginnie. And for peak Lee Taemin dramatic effect, I talked to another me the other night. A SuperM me, he was very cranky... but his Jonginnie was very buff. Trade offs I suppose.-" 

"Hey!", Jongin sulked prettily. 

"I get to be a bit bitter that I didn't even get to enjoy temporarily buff and butch Jonginnie I think." 

"Wow. I see. Well one, we both know damn well 15 or 20 lbs of muscle will never do anything towards making me butch... Though I was super tired all the time, dragging all that beefcake around was exhausting. Two, baby if you just wanted to lay there and look pretty, you should have said, as you wish my love" 

"Dammit when you say it like that it doesn't sound fun at all. You know me to well, fine! You have made your point you are absolutely the perfect kitteny Jongin I need and want. Not the other big, beefcakey, bratty, Jonginnie..." 

"Taeminnie", Jongin bit Taemin's hand affectionately, "You're still thinking about him aren't you?"

"Argh. I can't help it ok? It's like going to one of those weirdly wasteful buffets with the ice cream bar at the end, where in the ice cream happens to be my favorite flavor, and they have every possible topping I could imagine." 

"Hmmm I see, that makes sense, so Taeminnie my love, does that mean I get to oggle... or even taste this other you, too? If we were perchance to meet?" 

"What?", Taemin pulled Jongin practically into his lap, "ha well obviously I'm a hypocrite because no thank you. My SuperM self was kinda butch, no not butch, hard fem, and very very bossy, he would have made a you way to creamy. I might not ever get you back. You just came back to me. I don't want to even imagine losing you again. Not ever. Not to another me, not anyone. You decided, you're mine. You have to stay." 

Jongin squirmed around in Taemin's arms, so he could wrap him up in a full body embrace properly.

"Baby, I understand that it's just gonna take some time to really believe I'm not going anywhere. I am so sorry that I put you through that, put us through that, if I could, I would reach through time and take it back. All I can do now is just swear to you that I will never leave you like that again, and then follow through.", Jongin bit Taemin's shoulder in affectionate frustration, "Now could you please tell me about this other you, that you apparently talked to somehow without waking me up while literally laying on top of me- wait no, one more thing, should I worry about you deciding to climb Kai. Because I can be a jealous man if I need to be." 

"No Jonginnie, you don't have to worry about that. Kai is so sad, it would be awful of me to give him the impression that something could happen between us that couldn't. Besides which, he doesn't really want me, I think I'm a bit to spoiled for his taste, not raw or cynical enough Maybe. No, I think that what Kai wants, is to be you, or closer to being you. Because we have lived almost our entire lives together he sees me as the most likely and efficient way to get closer to being more like you. I am personally a means to an end, rather than the end itself for Kai. But I think that he will find his way around his heart one way or another, just fine without little ole me. I have a feeling Jonginnie" 

"Lee Taemin, it was the greatest mistake of my entire life that you do not know how much I love you, because I love you so exceptionally much. I love how your mind works, I love the way your heart works. I love you so damn much. Now please, I am begging you, tell me about this bad ass other you... for informational and absolutely non-sexual reasons of course." 

"Holy shit Jonginnie, it was so weird. I was sleeping and-

____________

Waking up had been surprisingly easy for Kai that morning. Taemin was in an excellent mood, and when Jongin came back from food scouting, they were both fairly glowing at each other. That was good, he felt freshly at peace about them as they ate their small scavenged breakfast. During breakfast Taemin also produced a pocket knife from some sort of second (or third, he wasn't clear) hidden spot in the bag of many things. Apparently he'd hidden it ages ago and also forgotten about it, which would seem unlikely if it were anyone else. But honestly that sounded so like Taemin it made him laugh a little. The very dramatic presentation of the knife inspired his two favorite tough little soft boys to rapturously plan all the things they could do today now that they had a knife. 

It was a small pocket knife, but having a blade and fire, as well as better understanding of themselves and each other filled all of them with a new sense of determination and optimism. After the meal and plan making Kai decided to scout a little further out. He wasn't sure why, he just had a feeling that something was out there somewhere that would be useful to them. Taemin and Jongin were going to do a more intensive forage for the possibility of eggs and things they could use as simple fishing implements as unlikely as that seemed to Kai. Their main goal for the day was going to be finding some sort of food that was more sustaining than flowers, leafy greens, and berries. Basically anything that could get some protein or fats into them now that they could do a limited amount of prepping and cooking. 

Taemin had a million ideas from his period of casual survival education, and Jongin was happy to help. They were both amazingly capable... if a little bit cutely screamy about bugs. It did seem unlikely to him that they would be able to do all that. He'd learned his lesson about doubting them though and fully planned on never making that mistake again. He would be utterly unsurprised if by the time he got back they had a feast made some how. They just had that kind of synergy together, they brought out the best in each other, supported each other in reaching greater heights, greater accomplishments. He decided that was what he really wanted, someone that he could have that closeness, but also intense positive connection to. Maybe someday. He grabbed the t-shirt bag and a water bottle and headed out. Sitting around wasn't helping anything.

Ambling through the seemingly unending wildwood, he realized his little friend, Wolfy, was tailing him again. This time he wasn't terribly surprised. It stayed on the peripheral of his vision, slowly working it's way closer as long as he was cautious and respectful. Surprisingly, the wolf's company was tangibly comforting. He'd never had a pet as a child and though he would never admit it out loud, he was absolutely enamored with the idea of winning "puppy" over. 

When he crossed paths with a tiny mountain stream he decided to call that lunch. He didn't actually have anything to eat but he needed to refill his little Taemin supplied water bottle, and a rest on an empty stomach was probably important. When he sat down on the tiny edge of the creek and stretched out for a minute, it was a surprise pleasure. It was funny how being in such an uncomfortable situation had made him so much more pleasantly aware of his body. Before all this, all he ever did was fuck, teleport, and deny he was depressed... It was not fun at all.... Though actually Jongin called teleporting blinking... that was pretty cool. He might just have to switch. When he opened his eyes, the wolf was still inching his direction, body language relaxed but...eager? The wolf really did look like what he remembered of puppies. Maybe it was a dog? Maybe on this world, dog's still looked like wolves? That would actually explain a lot. Either way Kai was not going to move and startle it. Puppy had been the closest thing to a real friend just for him, he had around here. He really didn't want to scare it off. The dog gradually shifted forward and haltingly rested it's head on his chest. 

Kai would have been shocked enough to flinch or jump but he hadn't wanted to startle the little thing. He'd stilled his excitement and done his best to just rest. Puppy's head was warm and soft. It was comforting actually. A sustained sense of peace radiated from the small animal cuddling with him. Before he realized it he'd fallen asleep on the shore. 

____________

\-------

7

\------

6

\-----

5

\----

4

\---

3

\--

2

-

1

My ah ah... My ah ah... My ah... My I-DE-A

Kai felt drunk and hungover at the same time. He rubbed his eyes and willed his heavy head to clear. It had been a long time since he'd gotten black out drunk. Maybe he was to old for that. It sure felt like it right now. 

(You are)

Wait.

My ah ah... My ah ah... My ah ah ah...

That wasn't right

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

(Umm)

Something.... was... wrong 

He needed...his... bearings

Why was he... out of it? 

Fuck

My ah ah... My ah ah... My ah My I-DE-A

Kai pushed himself to his feet 

Was that...? 

"Taemin?" 

My ah ah... My ah ah... My...

Was he wrong? it sounded like him

The darkness was impenetrable

His stomach sloshed

An ominous nausea clawed at his throat

He followed the distant voice 

The only point of reference available to him

You are... you are... you are

That really really sounded like Taemin

The figure in the gloom seemed so familiar

Everything felt so familiar

Like he'd been here before 

"Taemin?" 

My my IDEA... 

He stumbled closer to the person singing an erie dirge 

He felt magnetized 

Numb 

Familiar

Welcome

"Taemin?" 

The man came clear in the dark

It was Taemin

He'd already known that

Hadn't he?

"My my IDEA, A dangerous dream that swallowed me. You're proving it's you...

...This tremor deep in the heart..." 

The man had been watching Kai

Guarded and suspicious while he sang

He squinted at Kai and seemed to make a decision, sighing in defeat before he finally spoke.

"... Are you real? You can't be real. I don't remember real anymore... I feel like I know you... How can I know you?"

"Taemin?", Kai was so confused about everything right now. He couldn't think clearly.

Taemin laughed, relieved... and somehow immensely heartbroken

"oh you can't be real then. Look at me, getting my hopes up for nothing"

He shooed Kai away with a dismissive wave. Kai stared, taken aback.

"Please, it's been so long. I don't know why you look so familiar but this is cruel. You're not cruel Taemi" 

Taemin, eyes deep glowing red with sadness, gently pushed Kai away, strong fingers pressed lightly on his sternum.

*IT BURNED* 

AAAAHHH////FUCK FUCK FUCK! 

Kai leapt up from his nightmare? Dream? Terrified the ever loving shit out of Puppy, who yelped and ran for the trees. 

"No don't go again Puppy! I'm sorry I scared you!" 

"Fuck I keep doing that." 

Kai sat back down to shake off the sleepy and decide what was next. He couldn't believe he had been so relaxed with Puppy cuddling him that he'd almost fallen asleep. If his body hadn't done that startle jerk falling asleep thing and scared the crap out of him and Puppy, who knows how long he'd have slept. Well there was nothing for it, he needed to move on, he looked at the sky, it was later than he thought. Shit he better get moving. 

He headed in the general direction Puppy went, hoping that since Puppy lived there it knew something he didn't. He'd only been walking for ten minutes or so when Puppy did reappear, thank goodness. He was really getting attached to this dog. It hopped out of nowhere, ran around him in excitement and jumped up on it's hind legs to wiggle merrily at him with something in it's mouth. Well he, Puppy was a male dog apparently. He wasn't such a space Jock that he couldn't tell that now. Puppy was not appreciating Kai's distraction. He yipped, sproinging happily at Kai. 

"Ok ok Puppy I'm sorry, good boy? Whatcha got there?" He reached extremely carefully for whatever Puppy had. Puppy satisfied that he was paying attention, apparently, dropped it between them, and sat down with a satisfied doggy smile. It was, the last thing on earth Kai expected... a big, deep red apple. Kai's stomach growled happily. Puppy barked, maybe in response to his stomach... Probably totally coincidentally. He picked up the apple inspecting it carefully before he decided he wasn't Snow White so it would probably be fine. That apple was fucking delicious, It had been so long since he had eaten. He wished he could explain to Puppy that he could use about a dozen more. Having food in his stomach made Kai feel invigorated. His goal oriented wandering started to feel fun. Puppy would periodically run around in ecstatic excite-tation. He didn't know why but it made him smile and laugh every time, occasionally he would have to go looking for Puppy but only just a bit. It was really fine. And he was having fun, he didn't even remember the last time he'd actually had fun. His heart felt light, if he was being a little overly casual. Oh well. 

Their playful adventure led them to the dark part of the forest, where he found another blackberry bush. Perfect! Food achievement unlocked. The blackberry bush was truly massive. This whole situation would probably be creepy if he wasn't in such a great mood, with his Puppy friend, and so relieved to find the blackberries at least. What a great day. 

He'd been happily picking berries when Puppy slipped between two of the over grown mostly entangled bushes and disappeared into the darkness. Fuck. It was dusk, he should leave as soon as he had picked enough berries for the three of them. There really wasn't time to go off chasing a dog into shadowy bush inside a creepy alien forest.

Puppy started to bark and whine from wherever he was inside the brambles. Shiiit. 

"Puppy! Come on Puppy! Come back!"

Puppy barked again but did not appear. Fuck. He should really head back, he had food now and it was getting late. But he really didn't like the idea of leaving his best doggy buddy stuck in a bramble bush. Puppy barked and whined again. Did he sound upset? Ahh dang it he was going to have to go save Puppy. 

"All right! Chill out! I'm coming!" 

Kai crouched as well as he could. It was a very tight fit but he managed. It was even darker in here, inside the twisted over grown brambles. He carefully reached out ahead of him, feeling as he went, and followed the unceasing stream of barking. 

"Why are you so opinionated? You're a dog! I'm going as fast as I can! I'd like to see you do better!" 

Puppy started in with the dramatic yelping and howling again. He was not going to argue with a dog dammit. He thought he was pretty close now anyway, the onslaught of barking seemed very close to the wall of bra- 

Shit? What was that, 10 seconds of raw panic flooded him before he realized he was inside a black berry bush and his shirt was caught on something. Fuck. He tried to turn around but couldn't. He really didn't want to rip his only shirt that happened to actually be Taemin's. He wiggled and twisted trying to untangle himself, finally breaking free and stumbling forward, catching himself before he could totally face plant. 

"Holy fucking shit!" 

Puppy yipped cheerily. Kai had finally broken free of the bramble bush and stumbled out into the thick grey purple dusk, and found himself in a wide overgrown apple orchard. Puppy who hadn't been stuck at all barked happily. 

"Shhhhhh puppy, we don't want any visitors right now" 

Kai crouched, perfectly still, waiting, observing. The orchard was somewhat overgrown. It was still producing quite a bit of fruit, but was pretty wild looking otherwise. The part that caught his heart in his throat though was the giant, looming, fuck off, creepy, victorian style mansion. He watched warily but the mansion seemed abandoned. Holy shit. What the fuck. He waited 15 more minutes for any sort of activity at all, then whipped out his t-shirt bag, dumped the black berries in a careful pile, got as many apples as he could carry in it reasonably, then put the blackberries back on top, and got the hell out of there as fast as he could. Puppy didn't follow him. He really hoped that weird dog was ok. 

Thankfully being a space pilot forever gave him an excellent mental map and nearly perfect directional recall. He knew exactly how to get back home and hustled his ass back there as quickly as possible. After the first 5 or 10 minutes, the raw panic wore off. It was just so unexpected, out of nowhere. Also if there were houses, there were people. They were going to have to be more careful now that they knew for sure some sort of people type beings lived here. Puppy never joined him. Hopefully he was ok. Be ok Puppy! 

By the time he got back to camp he had calmed down significantly, he was overjoyed to tell them about the possibility of real shelter... and it was time to consider experimenting with trying to leave this place, blinking the hell out of here.

A warm cozy fire was waiting to greet him when he got back to their camp, the sight of it actually made him smile. Man this was really weird but maybe he was starting to get it sorted out. Taemin leapt up, bouncing on the balls of his feet, as Kai ambled out of the darkness

"Hey, you're back! We weren't worried though!" 

"It's a proven fact that Taemin is a liar. He was worried." 

"Jonginnie!" 

Taemin looked utterly scandalized, they tussled playfully for a second. He didn't know what had changed between them but something obviously had. They felt light, happy together, not so worried. 

"I have apples and black berries! ... and a completely ridiculous story, but what smells so fucking good?" 

"Oh!" Taemin rushed over to the fire to show him their victory feast, "It was my idea!" 

A wave of cold dread rolled over Kai. 

"It was your what?" 

"My idea? To look for mushrooms? Did I do something wrong?" 

Kai shook his head, he was probably just tired. 

"No. Fuck Taemin. I just had this really ominous deja vu. I'm so sorry. You're fine. You guys went looking for mushrooms?" 

"Yes! Pine Mushrooms. We only caught one little fish though. That was harder than I thought it would be. Why wouldn't it be exactly like basket ball. More or less. We found one tiny nest of birdy eggs, but then Jonginnie got worried they were already little baby birds in there, then I got worried that there might be little baby birds in there and we just couldn't bear killing a teeny tiny baby bird for a dinner mint worth of meat. I'm sorry. Next time we'll work harder and find more." 

Kai looked at the happy little fire where mushrooms and one medium small fish was roasting. His stomach gurgled at him. 

"I... Taemin... This is amazing. You guys did great. Really so great, and I don't even know how to lead up to this. I found a house. A huge fucking terrifying house. It seems to be abandoned maybe. I thought we could check it out next... and I might have a dog. I named him Puppy... but well we got separated." 

Taemin was stunned, Jongin joined them, draped himself over Taemin, kissed his cheek to kick start him back into motion and turned them a bit more towards Kai. 

"Whoah", Jongin held a graceful hand up to pause them, "... actually I'm so conflicted on whether to ask about the house or the dog first. No, you know what? I'm not embarrassed. I want to know about the dog" 

Jongin's eyes were huge and sparkling in excitement and probably over all love of animals. sometimes it was amazing to Kai that they were technically the same person. He'd never been that passionately eager for anything in his whole life. 

"Oh hell, he's such a cute little fucker. I thought he was a wolf at first but he knows how to fetch and"- 

"My love", Taemin patted Jongin's cheek, "Love of my life, please, I beg you both, can we talk about the house first?!" 

Both Kai and Jongin froze, unintentionally mirroring each other's body language. For the first time, it really seemed cute to Taemin instead of unsettling. Taemin couldn't help but laugh at how cute they were being. He realized he genuinely liked Kai, even though he was a little cynical and standoffish, that he would work hard to keep Kai safe until he had a person of his own to guard his heart, or until his heart could guard it's own self happily. Either being equally good positions for a heart to be in.

"Geez you look like I've said something shocking. How about we eat and talk about the house, the doggy... and me meeting myself..."

"You met one of your clones?!"

For reasons Kai didn't exactly want to examine right then, the idea of clone Taemin's gave him some hope for something unknown.

Both Jongin and Kai reacted in giddy joy to the clone news, the food, and the companionship. It was impossible to worry to much with two Kim Kai's beaming at you. Taemin decided to just sit down, relax, and enjoy the blessing of having all this wonderful in one place... for now. 

"Yes I can tell you about Puppy! ... after the clone stuff I guess." 

Kai looked so ecstatic to talk about his puppy. It was cute... really exceptionally cute. They ended up talking about the dog first. After all it didn't really matter. For the first time in their grown lives, he and Jongin hasn't had schedules. It would take some adjustments probably.

"Oh hey", Jongin paused before getting his bits of the food, "tomorrow we should talk about trying to get out of here, maybe test running a blink attempt? Don't you think?" 

Kai agreed whole heatedly. They sat down to eat their meal together, a freshly minted family of three. This had been their first really good day here. They stayed up late into the night, warm and safe in the arms of the fire, talking about everything and nothing. 

As night drew out into early morning, they had quieted significantly, when a small, fearless wolf appearing Puppy paced into the camp and curled up next to Kai with a quiet hffff. 

Jongin had been shocked at first, but Taemin gently tugged on his sleeve, reminded him about Puppy, so he ended up staying put 

Puppy was curled up in a fairly tight ball, with his head resting on Kai's thigh. Warmth spread through their point of contact, directly to Kai's heart. That was an astounding feeling. Maybe they were a happy little family of four now, after all. 

Their very first victory day left them feeling lovely, warm and safe, as they drifted off around the fire. Tomorrow would be a new set of challenges, but they were ready, together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kaiiiiii Solo???? Yessssssss.


	5. Before That Full Moon Sets

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for your patience, I hope this was worth the wait. 
> 
> I appreciate your support so much.

The weirdest part of roughing it after years sleeping in a basement bunker was waking up at dawn simply because the sun existed. 

Fuck the sun. Sincerely. 

Puppy stirred, shoving his cold nose into Kai's neck, which only added to his discomfort. Taemin and Jongin were asleep still. Those two could sleep through anything if they felt like it. He decided to go check out rounding up some breakfast. Once everyone was awake, it would be time to talk about everything that needed doing. There was a lot on that list. Kai slipped out from under the blanket of Taemin's limbs as quietly as possible and carefully padded out of camp. He was deliberating which way to go to look for food when Puppy caught a scent and went trotting after it. Apparently they were going that way then. 

\-----------------

Jongin firmly did not believe in morning. He'd never believed in morning, and sleeping in the woods made his disbelief even more adamant. No. 

Taemin was being very wiggly, is that why he woke up? Fuuuuuuck. To much wiggle. He cracked an eye open to find Taemin looming over him grinning wildly. Fuuuuuuck. To much wiggle. To much joy. Sleep. Please. Sleep. 

"Jonginnie" 

Maybe if he pretended to be asleep Taemin would go away. 

"Jonginnie, I know you're awake. We've been sleeping in the same bed since we were 13. You can't fool me." 

Maybe if he pretended to be dead, Taemin would go away.

"You know Bear, I know it's a coping mechanism, to hold back the overwhelming horror of our situation but do you think it's terrible of me that now that we have food, I'm having fun?" 

Ugh. So much not sleeping was going on. Now they were not sleeping and having a serious conversation. Nnnnnooo. Maybe if he hugged Taemin... he looped his arms around his boyfriend's neck so he could bury his face in the warm hollow of his throat. 

"Mmmh", Jongin said with as much conviction as he could muster. Taemin laughed in response. 

"I love you too, but really you should get up. Kai & Puppy got us breakfast Can't you smell it cooking?" 

As soon as Taemin said breakfast, he became aware of the smell of... roasting meat? Roasting meat?! Meat?!?! Nini unceremoniously, rolled over dumping Taemin on the ground, got up and stumbled sleepily toward the food smells. Behind him Taemin giggled, unbothered.

"Aha! See. I told you it would be the food that would get Jonginnie up not me." 

Jongin chose not to respond, instead sitting by the fire to watch the food, two small animals, rabbits maybe, cooking. Kai sat opposite of him humming a vaguely familiar, haunting melody. His dog, Puppy was running back and forth behind him yipping occasionally, taking periodic pandemonium breaks to curl up in his lap licking his face. Kai seemed completely unperturbed by the entire situation.

Taemin sat down beside Jongin, curling into him, humming in contentment. Jongin kissed his forehead with reverence. Heavenly. He didn't want to ever take Taemin for granted again. But actually... now that the sleep was clearing out of his head.

"It's not bad... Taeminnie...baby it's not bad to be enjoying the challenge. It doesn't make you bad." 

Before Taemin had a chance to register that Jongin was answering his previous question Kai shook himself out of his introspection.

"So I think I have an idea about the teleporting, blinking, problem. There was a technique we used to use when you had to dock a ship without a live computer. I think we could use the basic premise to slowly approach the uhh... blink zone? Is that that we're calling it? But I thought it would probably be worthwhile to check out the house first? Just in case it doesn't work and we are still marooned here in the morning." 

Having food, companionship, and a plan, made breakfast a jovial business. They took turns telling increasingly ridiculous stories as puppy played near by or rested cuddled up against Kai. It was a very nice morning, almost nice enough to forget they were Inter-dimensionally stranded with no certain way to get home or even survive here. Still they were doing their best to enjoy what they could and keep moving. Thankfully Taemin and Jongin were very used to being in motion no matter what. Once breakfast was finished Taemin insisted they gather up anything that might be useful, before they put out their fire and headed much deeper into the forest. 

Puppy howled his goodbyes to an unseen pack. Visible or not they were out there somewhere, howling a forlorn chorus in response that gave the moment a certain emotional significance. Nini Joked that it was time for a travel montage. If only that were possible, they would save so much time. 

The late morning sun disappeared into the dense, leafy, emerald canopy creating an artificial twilight under the ancient branches. The cool, mossy, woodland swallowed ambient noise, muffling their passage into a solemn whisper. The trio spoke in hushed voices as they hiked, mostly unaware of the effect the changing environment had on them. The only member of their party who was unaffected by the pervasive quiet was Puppy, he got more and more excited the further along they went up. The second the sprawling blackberry brambles came into view the little dog leapt, flip flopping in the air, like an unusually fluffy fish. Puppy's antics broke the silence like a spell, they giggled over his doggy theatrics together.

The dog tore around in excitement, racing back through the blackberry bush before his humans had mentally prepared themselves for the crossing at all. As soon as he got across, he was barking his head off again. 

"Welp yeah, I was going to tell the story again, with flourish this time but what's the point now that Puppy jumped straight to the end... I still don't understand why he does that if it scares him though. Barking his head off. Why dog face?" 

"He's not scared", Jongin chuckled, "he's playing. He sounds happy, listen..."

Kai looked absolutely astonished. He whispered in shock.

"You speak dog?"

"Ha! What? No, I can hear his tone, he's excited, playing, like back at camp? Taeminnie? Baby, you have dogs, back me up." 

Taemin appraised his boyfriend with overflowing amused affection. 

"Oh no Jonginnie, this is all you. I love Adam & Eve but I'm no dog whisperer. If you say he's playful, I believe you. You've always been the one in the family that was the smartest about feelings, if you weren't actually avoiding them anyway. It doesn't surprise me at all that fuzz ball understanding is included in that. You have always had an astonishing empathy. So! Are we going to follow him or just sit here while he raises hell- playfully- all evening?"

The most amazing thing about the orchard once they made it properly and uneventfully onto the property, was that in the full early afternoon sun it was suffused with a golden, bountiful, peace. 

"I swear this was so creepy last night..." 

Neither Taemin nor Jongin responded directly. They sat quietly waiting to see if anyone came out of the house to run them off. When no one did, they cautiously tip toed toward the house. Puppy for his part was just being a dog, happily trotting about here and there, doing nothing that appeared of any consequence. 

The house, mansion really, was the peak of looming victorian architecture. Taemin declared it, very goth girlfriendy. Jongin snorted in response. 

"Taeminnie, the only goth girlfriend here is you." 

"Well exactly," Taemin slid into Jongin's side, they always gravitated towards each other, "I've been your goth girlfriend since years before I was your goth boyfriend" 

Jongin laughed into Taemin's neck, Kai left them kissing, bathed in golden sunlight. He really couldn't blame them. Something about this place flooded with sun, felt warm, inviting. He'd probably kiss someone too, if he could. Puppy whined and yipped at him until he bent down and gave his dog friend some good firm body thumping pats, a ritual they both enjoyed. Puppy was so gently insistent. He always seemed to know how kai was feeling and naturally soothed his nerves. He'd never really experienced affection like that. It felt better than he thought possible.

"Yeah yeah ok, I was feeling sorry for myself. You're right. I'm wrong. I'm sorry. Shall we go see what's what up with this house?" 

They strolled, still cautious, around the pretty, albeit decrepit manner house. In the day light, something gave Kai the strong feeling that someone had loved it once. He was surprised, half way through their circuit around it, to find a non-descript door standing ajar in a small grey alcove. 

The door was stiff and creaked so loud it startled both the man and the dog. The entrance way... a foyer maybe? What the hell was a foyer anyway? Did anyone know? Taemin probably knew, it seemed like the sort of information he would have absorbed and filed away for just such an occasion. Before he'd moved on from the weather worn room, he realized Puppy was standing in the door way whining. 

"What's wrong buddy, have you ever been in a house before? You can stay outside if you want." 

Kai got down on the ground to comfort Puppy, who immediately piled into his lap, resting his oblong head on Kai's shoulder. They sat like that for a little while, until Puppy seemed more calm. With a little nonverbal negotiation they clambered up and headed into the house. 

This was obviously a back entrance, the entryway opened directly into a bright, naturally lit kitchen with large beautiful picture windows that looked out into the orchard. Puppy followed close behind, almost getting tangled with Kai's feet a couple times in his proximity insistence. They stepped over the threshold into the kitchen only to have a vaguely threatening whirring sound immediately pour out of... nowhere obvious. The noise made them both nervous... then the lights flipped on. What? An automated voice seemed to float out of everywhere, "Good Morning Mister Lee" it seemed to be greeting a long abandoned home owner. Music poured out of the speakers, increasingly loudly... Really really fucking loud. 

"Wake up

(Wake up)

Grab a brush and put a little make-up

Hide the scars to fade away the shake-up

(Hide the scars to fade away the...)

Why'd you leave the keys upon the table?

Here you go create another fable"

Was that... System of a Down? It was so loud. How the fuck was he supposed to turn that off? How the fuck did he turn it on? Covering his own ears did not help and Puppy was distressed as well. It was too loud. He had to try something. 

"COMPUTER OFF! VOLUME DOWN! STOP!" 

Puppy was barking just as frantically at the volume. Something blissfully worked. Beautiful silence swallowed him. In the same instant Taemin and Nini burst in the door, shocked by the noise and yelling. As soon as they crossed the kitchen threshold the automated voice again kicked in "Good Morning Mister Lee". Kai panicked, tried to wave them off before the horrible loudness came back. The computerized voice spoke again. 

"Morning Motivation Music Cancelled, Mr Lee" 

They all stared at each other wide eyed, Taemin broke into great gales of laughter. He walked over to the somewhat imposing kitchen table, and pulled out a seat to plunk down on with artful panche. 

"System of a Down! They have System of a Down here. Holy Shit! That's so funny!!" Jongin and Kai were swept into relieved laughter as well, everyone needed it after the shock. They all sat heavily at the old wooden table, giving themselves a minute to be really weirded out that this old creepy mansion was super futuristic and System of a Down was Inter-dimensional. What were the chances?

Taemin startled them a bit, leaping to his feet with no forewarning, to check the water apparently, to check if there was running water at all. A glimmer caught Kai's eye. There was a bronze, ornamental dagger jabbed into the other end of the table. Why would anyone stab a table? Wait, was that blood? He scratched at the dark red brown stain around the blade, curious. Taemin yelled in excitement, startling Puppy who barked, caught up in all the excitement. Kai flinched and flailed. 

"Fuck Yes! Hot Water!! Fuck Yes! Jonginnie we're staying here tonight. I do not give a single fuck what either of you say. We are staying here tonight. I am bathing and if there are razors in this fancy fake Victorian haunted house I am shaving everything," he rubbed the sparse black beard he was growing with dismay, "You can try to teleport us home in the morning, after I have had a hot shower, after I have slept and fucked in a bed. Don't touch that Kai ah, it gives me the creeps. Some things are better left alone." 

Kai yanked his hand away, Taemin's words made his stomach sour with unnamed anxiety. He had been listening to Taemin's speech, he planned on protesting that they could get them home more quickly if they tried tonight. Then Taemin said 'fucked' pointedly in Jongin's direction. There was no point in arguing for a lost cause so Kai didn't bother. He gave the weird dagger one more look and joined his friends in happily arguing over their exploration, shower, and sleep plans. 

Once they had an idea of what was here they could relax a bit, at least for the night. A hot shower & a warm bed did sound pretty amazing, even without a man to keep Kai company. Puppy rested his chin on his knee with big imploring eyes. Anyway who had time to feel sorry for themselves right now. He gave Puppy a good scratch and went to go check the house out with Nini and Taemin. The first thing they decided was to stick together. The boyfriend brigade, it turned out were big horror movie buffs, they made it very clear that the worst possible choice they could make would be to explore the house seperately. So they wandered from room to room together, exclaiming over this or that cool discovery... It was kind of fun really. 

The first thing they figured out was that the house for being a futuristic smart house, was not smart enough to understand that they were not it's own person. Jongin said it made him feel sorry for the house a little bit. That he knew what it felt like to be sitting around waiting for someone to come back for years. Taemin cooed over Nini and then reminded him that he'd been the one to do the breaking up so perhaps he should spare at least 22% of that angst. Kai got the impression that over the years, teasing and banter had developed as a safe way for them to interact with each other no matter who was watching and listening...that it was fundamentally comforting for them to fall back into their old dynamic. The constant teasing seemed a little caustic to him at first but he found himself laughing along with them as often as not now.

On the first floor they found the public living spaces, usually two of every kind of room, a formal beautiful version, and a casual more lived in version hidden away somewhere. Those smaller more realistic rooms seemed to be the rooms that had actually been used. They had photos and knick knacks... even a little wear and tear here and there. The decorating aesthetics seemed confused? Sometimes it was all classic light bright neutrals with an airy feel, other times it was very gothic, dark colors, black out curtains, and intimidating statuary, but somehow surprisingly it worked, maybe just because the place was huge. You could put an entire car park in here and it would feel like it made sense in context. 

There was an elevator to the second and third floors, but Taemin absolutely insisted they take the stairs for reasons that were unclear to Kai. But Taemin was so excited to traverse the winding moody staircase, he couldn't bring himself to argue. 

The second floor was full of single use specialty rooms that were larger and generally of a wider range of lay outs than the first floor. There was a game room with everything from billiards to console games, a library that was organized by... color(?), a computer room with a couple different high end looking computers, docking stations, and very fancy chairs. Taemin and Jongin were also extremely shocked and pleased to find small recording and dance studios. Then there was the gym, sauna, and other assorted rooms who's purpose they couldn't ascertain. 

The third floor was more straight forward, a series of truly palatial bedrooms in various styles and configurations. Most seemed to be guest bedrooms, tasteful and bland. At the end of the hall they found a three bedroom unit... or a two bedroom unit with a shared walk in closet that was almost big enough to serve as a bedroom in and of itself. Here the dichotomy really came into focus. One bedroom was full of pretty smoky pastels and bright neutrals. The four poster bed was draped in twinkle lights and a delicate canopy. The effect was extremely romantic. Jongin claimed it immediately. If he chose it for the fancy bed frame... well Kai was the last person to judge him for that. 

The other master bedroom was done in burgundy, deep royal purple, and charcoal grey so dark it was almost black, with silver accents. It was dramatic, classy with an edge, but soothing too. There was a truly impressive sound system in here full of a broad selection of music, pop, goth, heavy metal, punk, screamo, R&B, rock, and indie. He decided he liked whomever designed this space. They were his kind of people. 

The shared closet in the middle had an impressive, broad range of clothing in styles ranging from snuggle waif at home, to corporate vampire gets married. It was interesting to say the least. Kai noticed Taemin and Jongin whispering to each other fervently on their side of the walk in closet. He wouldn't try to pry their secrets out of them. He had plenty of his own, he scritched Puppy, clearing his throat.

"You know Taemin, if you weren't wanting to take the first shower, I'd be more than happy to do it myself... Give you two some time" 

Taemin definitely didn't want to give up the first bath, he picked something to wear from the things in the closet that were more or less his size, found a towel and ran off to scour himself. Jongin and Kai were a little bit at a loss at first. They were both used to having Taemin around to buffer their shared proclivity towards keeping to themselves. They were pretty exhausted but didn't want to get any of the beds dirty so necessity lead them to laying on the floor of the giant walk in closet, which felt surprisingly secure and comforting. Puppy joined them, resting his head on Kai's shoulder. There was an easy emtional intimacy between them like this, not anything romantic, familial. Kai realized now that they weren't on the verge of starving to death, he had questions. 

"Nini... Your stage name is Kai right?" 

"Heh. Yeah" 

"Is it weird, calling me one of your names?"

"A little. If we didn't look... act... think so much alike I don't think it would be so weird. Sometimes it kinda gives me vertigo" 

"My... EXO... Ugh I'm not trying to be emotional about them right now... after they met you, they started calling me Kiki... I think to annoy me at first... they said I was as cute as you, if you can believe that." 

"You are cute Kai, sure you're a little stand offish, I'm not even sure you're half as bitter as you think you are though. We both know that the life you've lead hasn't given you any reason to trust anyone. Never having a chance to trust anyone, it's not a personal failing... not even when you're jammed between Taemin and I."

Kai, sniffled a little, tearing up despite his attempted emotional distance. Puppy licked his face with fervant dedication while Nini scooped up his nearest hand and held it against his chest. With both of them offering him solace, he felt very cared for, it lightened the tightness in his chest.

"Fuck. I hate emotions! Ok ok," he pushed Puppy back a bit, but let Jongin hold his hand. It was nice, being close to a person, "... Annnnywayyy, maybe you guys could call me Kiki... if you wanted to." 

"Ok... Kiki... Yeah I think that will be much less headache inducing. Hey are you ok? I mean in general. I can't... I mean I really can not imagine what it would be like here without Taeminnie but always seeing him with another me.... Fuck that's tacky. I'm sorry. I just meant, is there anything I can do I guess?" 

"You know, I think I'm kinda ok? It's weird, I'm scared to death I'll never see my EXO family again. I have no idea what to think about this whole fucking alternate dimension situation. I'm still a little infatuated with your boyfriend and that is extremely fucking awkward. I don't know... I think... I'm kinda ok.... but I'm bringing Puppy with us tomorrow, if he'll let me. I... It's silly, he's a dog but he's been such a... I don't even know what to call him, but I want to bring him." 

"Yeah of course-" 

"Before you go on to tell me you totally understand and do not begrudge my crush on the love of your life because you're just that understanding. I should say this first, I hope it isn't totally out of line, but I get the impression you haven't... Fuck I really hope I'm not crossing every possible line. Ok I get the impression that you haven't bottomed... in a while... and that Mr. Tiny and Commanding doesn't typically... do that?" 

Jongin blushed... opening his mouth to answer but found he didn't have words for that. It was weird being asked intimate sex questions by yourself. 

"Hey look no," Kai sat up, but didn't let go of Jongin's hand, "Jonginnie, look you forget how much alike we are. Me too, ok? I didn't ask to embarrass you. There is nothing embarrassing in being submissive or mostly a bottom... honestly some of the most bad ass men I've ever known were both. I'm not some allocishet with a bias or a fetish. The reason I was asking is... bc, it's been awhile, you guys are in love, have privacy for the first time since you got back together. I wanted to remind you to stretch. I swear that's all" 

Jongin went from embarrassed to tense.

"He wouldn't hurt me, no matter how long it's been. We're not kids.-"

"Oh my fuck. You two need to spend less time in closet land. I swear. No look, I didn't mean that, of course you're adults and can handle that. What the fuck. No, ok Nini, what happens when you haven't danced in a while and don't stretch and warm up first?" 

"You get a cramp or if it's really bad you could pull a muscle... Ohhhhh. Oh my gah-I am so sorry. I thought-" 

"It's cool man. I'm only saying because I've forgotten. Nobody wants to pull a hamstring while they are getting fucked into next Tuesday, believe me." 

"I really don't... You're right I totally would not have remembered that we have gotten less excercise even with morning warm ups, than we have in our entire lives. Taemin should too, wow, yeah thank you." 

"Dude your morning aerobics together is the cutest shit I have ever seen. Really, how are you two so perfect for each other?" 

"Hah. Luck, hard work, an extremely specific shared history. Sometimes I think I understand how we got here, and sometimes I think about the sheer number of flukes and coincidences that lead us to be here and I'm overcome with this weird fear because literally anything could have derailed us... almost did, actually did for years really."

"Wow" 

"Yeah... You called me Jonginnie earlier specifically to calm me down didn't you?" 

"Yeahhh?" 

"Good call. It worked." 

"Cool" 

Just then Taemin skip hopped into the room, wearing boxers and a fluffy sweater. He was clearly radiantly joyously freshly shaved as well. It completely derailed Jongin's train of thought. 

"Baby, you found a razor! I'm happy for you." 

Taemin put his freshly smooth legs on Jongin's chest where they could be properly appreciated. 

"I did, ohh you guys look so cute. I'm so glad you had such a good talk. Now, I found razors, toothpaste, good shampoo and conditioner, and lube, Did you hear me say lube? I said lube so why don't you go get cleaned up Jonginnie?" 

Taemin waggled his eyebrows and gently pushed him with his feet to encourage him. 

"Taeminnie can you have at least a little tact?" 

Jongin groused but Kai tried very hard not to giggle at the fact that he was getting up as he did. 

"No babe, I can't. I am physically incapable of tact when I do not have cameras or fans breathing down my neck for the first time in my adult life. I can say what I want. Besides didn't you tell me he was fucking Sehun when you two met? So I'm pretty sure the Homo-sex-ooh-alll cat, is out of the lubrication bag" 

Jongin just stood there looking utterly vexed. It was more than Kai could handle, he fell back on the floor, laughing so hard he could barely breathe. Taemin smiled at Jongin, loving and threatening. 

"Now go get cleaned up baby, before I put that lube to use right here, and make everything about our situation immensely more confusing. Mmmh? 

Jongin didn't need anymore convincing than that. He found clothes and clean towels with an impressive quickness. As soon as he was out of sight Taemin dissolved into giggles. 

"Oh wow. This is going to be so fun. I think I like a lack of corporate supervision."

He loosely flopped about so he could look at Kai and Puppy who had moved into Kai's lap as soon as he provided one. Taemin's expression turned speculative.

"Kai... I wonder, where did you find Puppy?" 

"I didn't find him, he found me." 

"He found you?" 

"Yeah, I don't know maybe he was lonely too"

"Well that is the cutest story ever, how are you doing Kai honey?" 

Taemin squinched his nose, leaning into Kai's space a little. Kai leaned back just as much. 

"Nini asked me that. You can call me Kiki if it is less weird for you. I'm actually pretty all right I think. Puppy is part of that, part of it is... having an opportunity to think about myself as a discreet entity seperate from the people I've been attached to my whole life... I guess. It's weird but seeing your face attached to another man who has a whole other way of being you, it's... profound."

For the first time in my weird life, I've taken time to think about who I am, who I have been... who I want to be... and you know the funniest thing, after a lifetime of avoiding the very concept... I don't dislike myself. It's still weird here, him, you. I can't remember his feelings to much anymore... but I'd be lying if I said I don't still have a little bit of a crush on you. I hope that's not to weird to say. I get the impression you know already so what the hell... which by the way it is very weird being around someone you don't personally have history with, who can read you like you grew up together... like he's been in love with you since you were basically an embryo." 

Taemin smiled at him radiantly, a genuine Nini original 6v6 smile. Unf. His heart thumped unevenly in his chest. Puppy sensing his discomfort, squirmed and whine yipped a plaintive little whuff. 

"I, I'm sorry if this is the wrong thing to say Kiki and wow do I love the name Kiki. It suits you, but, how should I say this? Please don't get the wrong idea, I really don't know how to say this properly and now I'm making it worse. Please don't worry, it's nothing bad! Aha! Your face. Kiki, I... ok, your face, that's the very thing. When I look at you, it's very difficult for me to not see him. I know that's not fair to you, because you're your own man. I wouldn't want to hurt you, Jonginnie or anyone wearing Jonginnie's face. So you see it's complicated and weird on my end to because Kai, I have a crush on you too." 

"How could I not with your naturally green hair and different color eyes? You pout even more than he does, it's so sexy. You're stunning, kind, thoughtful, capable, of course I have a crush on you too. I'm not incapable of understanding what is right in front of my face, and I always was a big Obsession era fan actually. Mmmh so many eras I missed the opportunity to take him apart in. It's really tragic. Well anyway, I hope I haven't made anything to uncomfortable for you but it didn't seem fair that you could possibly feel like you were carrying a torch for someone who saw you you as unworthy of the same. You're incredibly worthy. I can't give you what you want, need, or deserve, but it's not because you're unworthy of any of those things ok? Oh relax Puppy, I'm not stealing your boyfriend. I have my own" 

Kai sat, speechless, deeply touched, doing nothing but hugging Puppy, and taking it all in. That... that actually felt really great actually. He was going to cry again. Dammit. 

"That is not weird, thank you, I didn't even realize I felt that way but I feel a lot better now. I can't believe I'm crying. I don't really know how to ask this without being rude so I'm just going to ask. Does Jongin know? Should I be giving you even more space? I don't want him to think that I am or would ever disrespect you two or your relationship. I've genuinely never seen two people so obviously meant for each other... My dog is not my boyfriend. Don't think I didn't notice you talking shit on him. He's protective, not jealous. Can dogs even be jealous?" 

Taemin laughed kindly. 

"It's a universal truth that your face is made of a deeply passionate and sensitive soul. No matter the name attached. You're better at hiding it than he is. But it's still there. Jonginnie knows, he's always known everything about me... half the time before I knew it about myself. He trusts me, and knows himself well enough to know he can trust you. Now if you don't mind I am going to go be obnoxious while the love of my life is trying to shave all that beard off then ravage him absolutely senseless. Please, if you need us, don't be afraid to bother us ok? We both care immensely about your well being." 

"Ha, well I think not but thank you genuinely. Thank you... I'm touched that he trusts me even if it is because we're alike. I'm honored that you would trust me with your feelings even if it is because I remind you so much of him. I feel very touched right now. Oh hey I told Nini too, you should stretch just like any work out, you guys haven't been as active this week as you would be normally." 

Taemin spun around with a performance flare, took a bow, and pointed at Kai. 

"You Sir are absolutely right, I should stretch first, thank you for the reminder." 

Kai leaned back, Puppy grumbled at the disturbance. 

"Whelp Puppy I guess it's just me and you, now. You gonna come with me to shower or what?" 

\-----------------

Sleeping in a bed had been magical. It was a little weird sleeping alone after days huddling with the boyfriend brigade for warmth. It wasn't as bad as he feared though. Puppy was a great furry cuddler and sheer exhaustion took care of the rest. He woke up better rested than he had in weeks maybe months, maybe ever. 

He went downstairs and rooted around in the kitchen. He was neither brave nor foolish enough to try and open the still running refrigerator but he found the pantry which had lots of canned goods, most importantly rice, kimchi, some canned meats. It wouldn't be fancy but he could make a breakfast with this. At the last minute he remembered the apple orchard and blackberry bushes and giddily ran to get some fruit too. They were the perfect addition.

Taemin & Nini, having innately impeccable timing, stumbled into the kitchen just as breakfast was about done, wearing sweatpants and a cornucopia of bite marks only. They were very snuggly, Taemin cuddled, and Jongin fed them. The whole morning was incredibly domestic. 

After breakfast, another round of showers, and a Taemin orchestrated pillaging of the house for spare backpacks, clothes, food, and an assortment of possibly useful tools. He absolutely insisted that he didn't want to be worrying about their lives like that again so it was better to be prepared just in case they couldn't make it back. 

Kai explained his theory that amounted to this, if they could touch a physical tangible door inside the blink zone to get out, why couldn't they open a physical door to get in, instead of materializing unprepared in the middle of it. They could ease up to it. Jongin compared it metaphorically to parallel parking. The base idea was good. The two teleporters spent 30 minutes having the mother of all technical arguments, before they settled on a technique they both thought was most likely to succeed in summoning a door to the blink zone and getting them through it safely. 

At which point Taemin called for a lunch break. He really did not want to be teleported into the sea or a volcano or anything worse than wherever this was, next time, so he was doing his best to be the best support person he could. Once they were ready to try Kai collected Puppy who only seemed mildly nervous about being shut in the house as long as he got to stick with his person. 

It took them another hour and some change to successfully summon a door, but they did succeed. It looked so normal materialized in the middle of the living room, they all screamed in excitement, and the door snapped out of their reality instantly. Ok, so focus was very important. They took another snack break at Taemin's insistence. 

Jongin and Kai took turns, holding the door in place. When they were both able to do it for three minutes without any fading or flickering it was decided that was enough. There was a brief discussion about waiting till after dinner. But at this point Jongin and Kai were concerned if they waited anymore at all they would be to tired and have to wait another day. Jongin was ready to be home already, and despite his better judgement Taemin had never been able to say no to a sullen Jonginnie. It was time to go home. 

They decided to do it Wizard of Oz style, since Kai was carrying the medium sized Puppy, Jongin was doing the visualizing and Taemin was being their bridge. They were going very slowly because the whole point of all of this was that they didn't know if the darkness was still in that hallway. They all hoped desperately that it was not.

Jongin opened the door a crack, listened... nothing. He opened it a bit more and peered into the mystical hallway... everything looked normal. He slowly stepped into the hallway holding Taemin's hand but giving each other as much room as possible. So far so good! It was Taemin's turn to stretch out as much as possible and slowly inch into the hallway. He made it too with no signs of looming furious darkness. They might just be able to pull this off after all. 

Kai slowly crossed the threshold, it was a little awkward with Taemin holding one hand , and Puppy balanced precariously like an overgrown toddler in his arms, forelegs draped over his shoulder. But they were managing it. He stepped fully into the mystical hallway and looked happily at Taemin & Jongin. They were halfway there! 

A horrific metallic scream tore through the air. This time there was nothing slow about it. Kai only had enough to go look in that direction before the malevolent darkness broadsided him, knocking Puppy out of his arms and enveloping him in pitch black darkness. He couldn't see, hear, or feel anything but the whipping winds around him, pulling him off his feet and into the air. It sucked the air out of his lungs, his chest burned like it was on fire, everything in his awareness was in agony. He thought he might be screaming. 

*NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. I'M COMING!!!* 

The dark was to encompassing, he knew he was on the verge of blacking out. An instant or an eternity before he thought he heard a howl and a low dangerous growl before something hammered into the darkness. The percussive force shook him loose, dropping him to the floor. Dimly he saw Taemin and Jongin also on the floor, like they'd been blown backwards, trying to get their bearings. Puppy was standing between him and darkness, his mouth dripped blood. They faced off for a moment, time seemed frozen as Puppy leapt at it again pressing it back towards the door. The dark enveloped Puppy completely. The dog yelped in the dark high pitched and painful. The dark fell or slid backwards out of of the door they had just come in, Puppy dropped to the floor with a dull, wet, thud. 

All Kai could think about was getting to Puppy, it was his fault. He brought the sweet dog with him. He heard but barely processed Taemin behind him. They were ok. They didn't need him. They had each other, but he needed Puppy. He couldn't, not now. Taemin was firm and in control somewhere on the edge of his awareness. 

"Babe, where's our Door?"

He got to puppy, feeling him everywhere trying to figure out how hurt he was. 

"Fuck I lost it!" 

He couldn't figure out if Puppy was breathing. Behind them the door strained and howled, the darkness was gouging at the other side.

"You better find a new one, right now!" 

Taemin crouched down beside Kai and Puppy. 

"I can't tell if he's breathing Taemin, I don't know. I can't tell. I can't tell!" Kai's face was wet with tears and blood of unknown origin. 

Jongin was glowing the smoky purple of using his powers more directly. 

"I need a door to safety and help, NOW!!!" 

The purple glow was eclipsed by a golden smoke that rolled like a pulsing wave out of his body, illuminating the entire hallway. A door lit up like a beacon. 

"Got it! Let's go!" 

Jongin kept his focus on the door. Taemin knelt down by Kai and the severely injured Puppy. 

"Honey, we have to go now" 

"I'm not leaving him here. He saved me." 

"No one is asking you to Kiki honey. Bring him with us just like before. But we have to go." 

Kai nodded, still scrambled a bit from the attack. He picked Puppy up. The small dog was much to limp. He carried things this limp before. His stomach lurched unhappily, as Taemin pulled him along down the hallway. The door looked like a Barbershop door. Kai didn't care about any of that. 

They poured out the door tumbling into the street. It was immediately obvious that this was not their earth. The lights were beautiful, automated... The entire city seemed to be abandoned. No living being moved under the twinkling city lights.

Puppy started to seize. Kai couldn't think of what to do. They were nowhere. He couldn't use his powers. It wasn't fair. It wasn't fair! This wasn't supposed to happen. Puppy shouldn't have saved him. He held the seizing dog to his chest and knelt there on the concrete. He didn't care. He couldn't look, he'd seen dying before. He couldn't bare to watch Puppy die, for him. For him! But he wouldn't leave him alone either. 

"I'm so sorry Puppy. I'm so sorry" 

Puppy flailed and shook, and then was terribly terribly still. No. Please. No. No. No. He was wracked with sobs, almost in shock.

"Fuck. Could you stop calling me Puppy? It's not as cute as you think. I can't breathe babe, you're squeezing me to tight."

The entire universe froze. Slowly restarted. Kai leaned back finally willing himself to open his eyes.

"Taemin?" 

What in the fuck? 

Standing in the street in front of them Taemin started laughing. 

"Holy Shit! Puppy is me! And he's Naked!!!" 

Jongin jumped up, and started digging around in his back pack. 

"I knew it! I knew it! I told you it was fucking Criminal universe! He's a fucking werewolf! Here's some pants. I brought extras just in case." 

Taemin was half frozen, still recalibrating.

"I will never doubt another one of your out of control Sci-Fi theories Jonginnie. I stand corrected. I don't know what I thought but it wasn't this." 

The New Taemin looked deeply at Kai. 

"I'm so sorry I scared you. I can explain some of this, what I know anyway. I wasn't trying to mislead you. I was stuck. I don't know why I'm not stuck anymore. But as far as I'm concerned, you saved me. I'd like very much to thank you, and explain... if you don't hate me. Nobody has called me Taemin since I was a Toddler. I'm well, Taem, Tame. If it's ok, I'm going to put on some clothes now." 

Kai realized that Taem was still sprawled on the street, in his arms totally naked. He was still squeezing Pupp-Taeme(?) He let go abruptly, backing up to stand, still to shocked to react properly. There was only so much emtional roller coaster one man could endure at one time. 

Taemin was scowling at Tame, sizing him up as he took the offered clothes and got dressed. 

"And who the fuck are you now? Besides me, and one of my best friend's dog? Hmm?" 

Tame pulled his pants up and sighed. 

"I understand why you're worried, and I think I can explain enough to reassure you, but I'd like very much to not be naked in the street when I do that." 

Tame closed his eyes, cocked his head. He looked for all the world like Puppy, catching a scent and listening for lunch. He opened his eyes again. Taemin was scowling, Kai was still shocked, standing now but only just barely, Jongin just looked... happy, pleased with this development. 

"There's no people here. That's weird right? This place gives me the creeps. Something is very much not right here. There's a hotel this way." 

Tame dressed now, in black skinny jeans, a simple red and black striped t-shirt, and black chuck Taylors. He almost shyly held out his hand to the still stunned Kai, who took it still in a daze.

"How do you know there's a hotel that way? Have you been here before?" 

Taemin was still incredibly suspicious of himself transmorgifying from a dog. This whole week had been to much and it was making him a little angry now that he was past the surprise. 

"Spidey senses" 

"Spidey Senses?" 

Tame sighed and turned around clutching Kai's hand like he was the one who had just had a traumatizing experience... But then perhaps he had.

"I have werewolf senses, I can see the sign that's all" 

Jongin finally shook himself free of his Delight. He had really been hoping he was right about his hunch, and now he was, but no one in this situation knew Taemin, the way he did, not even Taemin. He needed to smooth things over a bit. 

"Taeminnie, it's ok. He's ok." 

"What do you mean he's ok?" 

I mean I'm looking at the man and he means well, he's being honest. He's not trying to hurt or mislead us. I know your face babe, I know your body language. I'd know if he was lying." 

"Are you absolutely sure Jongin ah? He's not actually me."

"What happened to you're the one who knows feelings, I trust you know what you're talking about when it comes to the weirdly smart dog?" 

"All right, you're right. I guess I can grill him after we've all rested." 

So they set off again, this time four men with two faces more or less, tired, bedraggled, but more prepared than they were last time. Things were not, exactly hopeless, even in the strange ghost city. 

Jongin thought he heard a quiet good natured laugh, but when he turned to look there was nothing or no one there. Weird, but whatever it was could wait till tomorrow. 

Despite the scare and then shock they'd all just had, Jongin found himself fighting a smile. A little ember of hope had just been born fully fledged in his heart.

He didn't know how, but he knew everything was going to be ok. Eventually.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally we have arrived at this reveal! 
> 
> I'm so sorry for the scare and for leaving it off before Tame has a chance to explain. 
> 
> Thank you so much for bearing with me while I struggled through this chapter. 
> 
> Thank you for reading, commenting, and leaving kudos. It's what keeps my writer heart pumping.


	6. We're Something Different

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year everyone 💞

The walk to the hotel was strained. Taemin was still watching the newly transformed Puppy for any sign of suspicious behavior. Both Kai and Tame appeared to be in near shock, they were holding hands, winding themselves around each other, like it was their natural state of being. That actually reassured Taemin some. 

For all his exasperated stand offishness with anyone else, Tame responded to Kai like Taemin would if he had an armful of exhausted, upset, Jonginnie. So maybe the wolf was ok. Maybe. He wasn't going to stop watching out for his friend just because some were-boy with his face showed up though. 

Just as he was about to circle back around to suspicious, Nini casually looped an arm around his neck, pulled him close to whisper in his ear. 

"Taeminnie, baby do you really want to get into a territorial wrestling match with the werewolf version of yourself over a clone me that you have no intention of keeping for yourself? Look at them, they're happy, happier than you are right now. I know you're worried. I know you feel like he's yours to protect, that you have a duty to do that even if you're protecting him from himself. Baby, he isn't me, he isn't yours, and Tame isn't you. I know it's distressing looking into your own face and seeing a totally different man. Please don't take your anxiety about all the ways he's not like you, out on them." 

Taemin considered the love of his life who had grown into a man of such depth and wisdom before his eyes. Years of lying to themselves and each other had lost them so much. It was devastating in a million different ways to realize you had wasted so much time but that the waste, and wait, was over now.

"You're right. I know you're right. I will try my best to not be arbitrarily territorial, I will remind myself that I already have the absolutely perfect for me Jonginnie, no need to take up a collection just to spite myself. I think I understand why that SuperM Taemin was so annoyed with me." 

Taemin laughed ruefully, snuggling closer to his particular Jonginnie. Ahead of them, Tame snorted. 

"My werewolf hearing and I are are so glad we have all that sorted out. Truly. Now if you don't mind not talking about Kiki like he's a fucking sack of potatoes to divide between us." 

Taemin blushed, blinking furiously at the scathing critique. The wolf was right, even if that hadn't been his intent. It was embarrassing, he could do better. 

The doors to the hotel were automated, sliding open noiselessly as they approached. Tame blew through the lobby in an irritable rush. He leapt easily over the check in desk, immediately started doing something on the computer there, and pointed to where Kiki could come around.

In a delayed fashion Taemin realized he was witnessing werewolf agility, not just extremely good physical condition. He wondered, if this was how everyone felt around him. Tame was so easily exceptional. He didn't like being on the other side of that feeling, it was unfamiliar, unwelcome. Jongin, sensing his lack of ease, kissed his temple, whispered affection in his ear before turning back to the furiously typing werewolf.

"Uhhhh, maybe we shouldn't do that" 

Tame sneered at at him, ready to snap. Kai, already by his side, rubbed soothing circles into his bicep. Tame looked between the two of them, Kiki and Nini, took a centering breath and started again. 

"I was a wolf for a long time. I'm sorry, I've forgotten my human manners. Words are complicated and indirect. I said before there were no people here, I meant it. There are no living beings in any form I recognize, anywhere remotely near by. We're safe. I'm just getting a feel for this hotel, checking us in so the computers recognize us, finding... Ahh there we go." 

He grabbed a tablet, then a stack of key cards, swiped them, handed then out, then lead them down the main hall, working with the tablet as they went.

"Come on, we can talk, but I need to eat, shifting makes me fucking hungry. Thankfully this whole damn place is heavily automated for some reason. It still creeps me out though. The not right here is off the fucking charts. Still, survival first, then the creepy background mystery, yeah?" 

Tame rolled them up into a fully automated kitchen that was already coming to buzzing bleeping life, preparing something that smelled delicious. Taemin scowled.

"How do you know how to do all of this if you've never been here before?* 

"Mmm well a little luck, probably overlap between dimensions or something, the programming languages are close enough, I'd have been able to do this quicker back home though." 

"So what, you just understand the dimensions thing & you're a computer programmer?" 

Tame snort laughed, a shiny appliance binged at them. 

"Something like that," he piled a plate high with breakfast foods and handed it to a very surprised Taemin, "but aren't you glad I am? ... I remember you talking about waffles right?" 

"I, yeah, wait you understood us?" 

"Not really, not then, not most of it," he continued portioning bacon, eggs, and waffles to be passed out, then magically produced coffee and tea, from a different space age appliance. 

"I understood your tone and Kai's feelings loud and clear. Spoken language was beyond me. Which is not the way it was supposed to be by the way. I can remember now though. This way." 

He lead them with to a cozy dining area, when the tables came into view, Taemin stopped cold.

"No, none of this makes sense, how are you doing all this? How do you know about everything?" 

"It's nothing you couldn't do with the right training, it's just this," he laid the tablet in front of them and started flipping through screens, blueprints, schematics, inter-office memos, "you're a dancer right? World famous Lee Taemin? Somehow always exceptional? Computer languages, programming has been my dance, my art, that's all. This is what I was naturally great at, the thing I've been doing unceasingly since I was I was a child. Look, I'm sorry I freaked you out. I was never that good with people. I sucked at people skills long before I got wolf stuck. Can we sit down? I'll answer any questions I can" 

Taemin wanted to stay mad, but that actually resonated. He couldn't imagine how he would have grown up as the sad isolated little kid he was before SM, before Jonginnie... Oh fuck, he didn't have a Nini until very recently. Well that was horrifying. 

"Yeah, ok" he looked down at his plate of waffles, realized he was starving, "I guess my first question is actually what the hell, you keep saying you were stuck? I don't even know how to ask..." 

With some of the tension eased they sat down to eat. Tame chewed as he contemplated the question. 

"That is one of the things I don't really know. Usually when I shift, I stay myself, just wolfy. This time there was something wrong. I couldn't remember me, couldn't shift back. It was disconnected, a disjointed bad dream, almost asleep on my feet. I don't know why I'm back or why I can think when I couldn't before, But I'm glad to see my human body again. I missed thumbs, and orgasms." 

They all laughed in surprise at the confession. Kai suddenly roused himself from picking at his food vacantly. 

"Sooo... You didn't... Ummm with .. ?" 

For the first time Tame mirrored Taemin's mannerisms clearly, blinking in embarrassed shock at him. 

"With a wolf? No," Tame shoved a huge bite of food in his mouth, chewing noisily, "even when I didn't know better, they never smelled right. Thank the deities for small fucking favors" 

Kai suddenly found himself with a little more appetite. He crunched a piece of bacon, thoughtful. 

"Soo what does 'right' smell like to you?" 

Tame twisted in his chair to stare directly at Kai through his silver fringe. Kai squirmed in his seat under the scrutiny, he had been through to much to pretend he wasn't pleased by the intensity of Tame's attention. Jongin and Taemin laughed uproariously, tag team humming a few bars of 'Thirsty' between giggles. Taemin waved frantically attempting to stop his own amused overreaction

"As adorable as this whole Prelude to a Kiss moment is, could we please go over whatever, before you fuck him on a table. I'd love to finish these amazing fucking waffles without having to worry about dodging the lubricant splash zone" 

Jongin snorted but put a hand on his forearm. 

"No Jonginnie, no corporate oversight, I say what I mean. It's important to me to be able to be completely authentic, sincere, whatever the fuck." 

Kai stewed, not liking the way they were being talked about, like they were already a couple when he'd not even has a chance to talk to Tame. 

"Could you not act like he and I are just Taemin & Jongin true love forever 2.0. We're people not extensions of your truly fucking massive egos when it comes to each other." 

"You're right, it was coming across like that. I'm sorry. You aren't us, and it's not fair to you, to act like you are" Taemin fussed with his hair a little, nervous, "The reason I made that tasteless joke is, I may not know much about wolves, but I know myself-"

"I know what I just said, hear me out. I know myself, and there is only one person in any dimension, that i trust enough to give physical control of my body, which he's been doing easily for days. He may not have understood the implications as a wolf, but he isn't a wolf now." 

Taemin leaned into Jongin, who was mostly staying out of it. They'd all have to get used to each other sooner or later. He figured sooner was best.

"No it's ok," Tame nodded at them as he continued chomping, "he's right, and wolves are not known for being shy, modest, or prude anyway. If I ever was, I'm not now. So yeah let's talk about shit so I can have what's mine." 

He bumped Kai's knee, and smiled, almost bashful, "hopefully"

The corner of his mouth quirked up, winking at Kiki, who was really trying to keep up with the massive influx of intense and directly conflicting feelings he'd been experiencing. The thought of Tame's interest in him personally, made his heart thud happily in his chest. Maybe they could... something. He didn't even know, to much had happened since the last time he slept. 

Nini hung casually from Taemin, whispered something to him, then waved nebulously, in an exaggerated state of tiny and relaxed. 

"I think my question is, how come you latched onto us so quickly if you didn't understand, remember, or recognize Taeminnie?" 

Tame closed his eyes as he thought back on the time when he first realized there was something new in his woods. 

"Have you ever gone to a place while they were cooking dinner, that you knew well as a child? The food was not something you would have considered an intrinsically childhood food, but the smell of that particular meal immediately transported you to your most beloved, happy, safe, childhood memories? That is the closest I could come to explaining it. Wolves, we communicate in scent and body language primarily. His smell was the smell of home, love, safety..." 

Tame shrugged, obviously a little embarrassed by the vulnerability. Kai who'd finished eating leaned into him just a bit. They watched each other, both making an effort to be less guarded. A delicate balance was hopefully being struck. Tame sighed, sneering in frustration at himself.

"Anyway, I didn't know anything about any of that at the time. I was just a regular-ish wolf and he smelled good, interesting, the more he was around, the more I wanted to be around him, the better he smelled. I think I started coming back a little. I'd been asleep at the wheel for so long, meeting him jostled me, woke me up enough to realize that something was out of alignment, that whatever it was, was less confusing when he was around, so I stayed around. Please for fuck sake spare me the 'awwww so adorable' commentary" 

There was a slight scuffle on the other side of the table as Taemin attempted to do just that. 

"All right! I guess if I can't say that, my main question is how the hell are you not freaking out about me, about them?" 

Taemin gestured between the nearly identical Jongin and Kai. Tame looked shocked for a second. 

"Oh shit. Yeah how could you know? You couldn't know. Weird. Well see, I was raised knowing I was a clone. My caretaker, who was not my parent but was the closest thing I had to one. When I was still a baby he met a man that told him things about the people paying him to raise me. Things he didn't like I guess. He never told us anything specific about it, just that someday we would meet people that were exactly like us, that it was most important that we help them in whatever way we could."

Kai asked the thing they were all wondering. 

"We?"

"Ahhh. Taemi my, not sibling exactly. We were an experiment," he looked at Taemin, "There's apparently some prophecy involving a Taemin that impacts their nebulous nefarious plans? No I don't know who they are or what the prophecy is, it was all pretty text book fairy tale bullshit from what I remember. I didn't pay attention to it. The rest was so much more relevant to me, to us. We were experiments in making someone with Taemin's powers and potential, that was more controllable, as if that was possible. 

The obvious differences aren't the only discrepancies between us. I'm taller, that's not your imagination. They turned up my aggression, physical strength, introversion, dominance, oh I saw a list once, whatever. I think the goal was to make me violently apathetic, detached and criminal in my inclinations. It did not go as planned. 

With Taemi they made her physically smaller, very baby faced, she looks innocent pfft. They increased her anxiety, sensory sensitivity so they get overwhelmed easily, they're even less chatty than me, and I'm not sure what was tweaked to do it but they made her intensely people pleasing. See variations on a theme? I think she was supposed to be more malleable, more passive than me, innocent and angelic by nature. Taemi was no more an angel than I was a criminal. Neither one of us were easily defined by our appearances or our natural aptitudes for that matter, but anytime we went out into the world, no one ever bothered to see past their own assumptions. We stopped going anywhere for years. It was complicated enough growing up looking into your face and seeing every single thing you're not and could never be. We couldn't bear the judgement of outsiders anymore. 

A man brought Taemi to me, to us, when I was 5. He said some cryptic shit about us being the key to each other's future then fucked off forever. Taemi was so tiny when they first got there. I actually thought they were a toddler, they never grew out of that entirely. They're small, but look even smaller than they are, maybe smaller than you actually. I'm not sure. Anyway I grew up with a much different person who was not my sibling but had my face, and knowing you, or someone like you, would show up someday."

Taemin spoke with the most care. 

"Where's your not quite sibling now?" 

Tame froze, horror and heartbreak washing over him. 

"She stabbed me and, fuck, they stabbed me and they, did-didn't... She got sucked into that darkness by a spell I think, I hope that's-. Please don't think that she was, that they were bad or terrible. It wasn't entirely their fault. Taemi was, I'd gotten my power, I was off running a lot. I think they were lonely. Our caregiver left as soon as we came of age, sarcasm heavily intentional. We were a couple of petri dishes that had been raised in a fancy mansion in the middle of nowhere. We had no life experience to come of age with. But that didn't stop him. He hugged us, cried a bit, insisted he had other responsibilities, and off he went."

"When my powers matured, I could shift, I almost felt free for the first time in my life. I'd slip out, run to the nearest city, yes we had those obviously, party for days, crawl back home days or weeks later. I was not doing well. I wish I'd realized that they weren't doing well either. One day I came home, they were already upset. I should have understood how serious it was for them to put their needs before keeping the peace. They kept asking if I was happy. What did I want for my life? They said they had a purpose that wasn't being fulfilled, that I could help. What did I want? What the fuck did I want? I wanted out. I guess they gave me an out after all. The rest is hazy so please understand I'm just not sure." 

"I was, I was being a dick, snide, I hadn't slept in days, I remember being, I don't know hungover probably. I wasn't paying attention. I never paid enough attention back then. They asked me something. I wish I could remember what it was. I wasn't even looking. Fuck. They stabbed me in the hand with this pretty decorative dagger. I remember that. I remember thinking huh, it's pretty. We just stared at each other in shock for a moment, like time froze. They looked horrified at what they'd done. I, this, I don't know what it was, a black hole? a rift in space-time? That fucking darkness? I don't know, but it swallowed them up, they were crying, it swallowed them up, and I couldn't do anything. It all happened so fast, I was still pinned to the table like a fucking butterfly in a case, and who expects a possibly sentient black hole to appear in your kitchen and siphon off your experimental other self. I couldn't do anything- fuck. I think I had a seizure that time too. When I woke up, I was on the floor, injured, not fully cognizant, locked in my wolf. I tried to look for them, but every day it got harder to remember why I was looking." 

Tame wiped the silent tears away. 

"After a few days, I was barely hanging on, I just knew I had to find someone, someone important. When the pack adopted me that's all that was left I guess, the need to look for something important, something known to me. I didn't remember what, who, only that I was looking. When you guys showed up, Kiki smelled somehow safe, familiar, it stirred that need. I think I thought he was the thing, the person I was supposed to find. I was, I was relieved, happy. Fuck. I didn't know until I woke up human again that I was wrong. That the what, I was looking for, was a who, that the who I was looking for, was gone, forever. Probably forever." 

Silence hung over them, as Tame worked his way through the crush of newly realized loss, thankful that they seemed to understand he didn't want empty platitudes. When the painful lump in his throat subsided enough to speak, he cleared his throat, slowly pushed himself away from the table, stumbled, hollow and quiet to his feet. 

"That's all I know. I need to sleep now. I put you both in the same room, number is on the back of the card. Just swipe it"

He gestured vaguely, making a loose limbed swiping motion, fell back on his heels, wobbling slightly, and lurched off toward the rooms. A pang in his stomach made him turn around to see Kai picking at his food listlessly. He stopped where he was, folded himself into a small miserable crouch, head resting on his knees. 

"Kiki, I'm trying so hard not to be overbearing. I don't know how to go about this. I don't have the best social skills, but I would really like it if you came with me, only if you want." 

He closed his eyes, resting, waiting, unmoving. He was not sure if Kai would come with him, but was much to emotionally defeated to do anything but wait and see. Quiet foot steps came to rest in front of him. He opened his eyes to find Kai crouched down in front of him, sneer smirking at him. 

"That was very dramatic, you could have just asked."

"I don't remember how" 

Kai snorted in amusement and gently pulled him up. Standing at his full height it was particularly obvious that Tame was indeed taller than than all of them. Kiki squinched his face up at the werewolf in amused distaste. 

"So what room did you put us in?" 

Tame handed him one of his extra key cards, to worn for words.

"The honeymoon suite huh?" 

Tame blinked, embarassed. 

"I gave you your own room. I didn't assume. I, I just picked the biggest room. I thought I might get claustrophobic. I was nervous in the house. But maybe it was the memories. I don't know- I don't know, I think I might be kind of in shock" 

Kai took his anxious ramble in, listened with surprising patience, held Taem's face in his hands, and kissed the corner of his mouth, soft but firm, surprising them both a little.

"Hey, it's ok. I was teasing... besides we've been sleeping together for almost a week, when you think about it. Let's go check out this Honeymoon Suite. Get you cleaned up and comfortable." 

Behind them Tame could hear Taemin & Jongin whispering to each other just fine. 

"So you have a clone who uses fluid pronouns Taeminnie"

"That's actually the least surprising part of this fiasco"

"Oh yeah? Do you want to talk about it?" 

"You know all there is to know, it's the same as when we were kids. That dagger sounds like the one in the table right? What the fuck happened? I didn't bring it up, it wasn't the time, but it can't be a coincidence that a howling darkness ate his sibling, almost ate him, tried to eat us right? A prophecy? Jonginnie this is to to to much. It's to much. I can't do this"

"Oh well since it's to much let's go home then... Oh but wait, we can't go home can we? I understand how scary this is baby, how absolutely beyond to fucking much it is. But I know you Lee Taemin, I know you are trying to make sense of all of this at once. It's a waste of your energy to stress about things we absolutely can't plan for or do anything about. It's not a video story board. We're safe for now, our needs are met. Please baby just take it one day at a time. One minute at a time if necessary"

"Ok ok, you're right, I guess, but only because I can't figure any of it out, resolution or otherwise. But don't think I will completely stop trying to figure this out. Do you think they'll be all right? That's a whole lot of sad boy in one place. They've both lost people, family"

"You wouldn't be my Taeminnie if you were ever complacent for one single moment, of course you will babe. But I'll still worry about you putting yourself and your needs last for the sake of everyone around you. It's what you signed up for when you decided we could be friends ages ago... Them? Only they can figure that out babe. But we're a lot of sad boy in one place. We do all right" 

Tame snorted tuning the couple out, realizing he'd been staring blankly at Kai. He cleared his throat and hoped no one noticed how enamored he was already. It felt to exposed to feel so drawn to someone he effectively didn't know. Kiki carried two backpacks slung over his shoulder. Tame wanted to offer to take one, but his brain refused to conjure the right words, instead it latched onto a different bothersome little detail.

"Kiki, how long would you say it looked like that mansion had been abandoned?" 

"Huh? Well, I don't know anything about Apple trees but it was pretty overgrown and wild looking. At least a decade, maybe more. Why?" 

"I do know about Apple trees, and fuck I'd hoped you'd see something I overlooked, that I could be wrong. I wanted to be wrong. It's freaking me out. I think it could've easily been 20 or 30 years since that apple orchard and berry patch had last been tended by human hands, since I was permanently wolfed. How the fuck could that be possible? I don't, my hands still look young. Do I look like I've been a wolf for 20 or 30 years? What the fuck is going on? I feel like I just woke up from one nightmare into another nightmare." 

Tame, was getting critically overwhelmed by so many drastic realizations right on top of each other. Kai tried to press physical reassurance into his hands. 

"I'm not sure if this will help, hopefully it's a distraction, no you don't look like you've been locked in a wolf for 20 years, but let me ask you, do I look like I've been locked in an underground basement for nearly 30 years?" 

Understanding washed over Tame. 

"No wayyyy" 

"I haven't told them yet, I didn't know how, at first we were just running, and then they assumed they were the originals. I don't think they'd thought about it yet. How we could be almost the exact same age if someone is a clone. My Exo and I were down there for decades, not months. I don't know for certain. But... But I think that Jongin is my clone... or maybe we're all clones. Maybe my memory is fake, maybe we're like you, an experiment in being able to control them, us. I don't know" 

"Holy shit, you have to tell them" 

"Fuck I know. I know. I will. I swear I will" 

"None of this makes sense, you and I being shelved for around the same amount of time. Then those two come along out of nowhere and what, now we're here? How? Something more is going on. This place is wrong. Something or someone is fucking with us and I don't like it. What do we do?" 

"I don't know either, there's to much we don't know... don't know yet. You said survive first right? So we survive first, then... Hopefully... "

Kai shrugged loosely, like he didn't know what to hope for.

"Fuck."

"Fuck. Fuck.... Ok I'm calling a ban on hallway panic attacks. I said I would get you cleaned up first so let's do that. Then we can talk more, are you ok to walk? I could probably carry you if you need." 

"I don't need you to carry me. I'm not a damsel in distress."

"But you're in distress Tame, I was just offering"

"I know, I'm sorry, yeah I'm ok to walk"

Kai hovered close as they shuffled in the direction of their room. He kept talking in a low even tone, he understood feeling like there was to much world and to little you.

"That shadow monster thing that almost, well nevermind that... my family was fighting that when we had to run. I don't know if they're ok either, if I'll ever see them again, if they died, or got sucked into that darkness. It terrifies me wondering how they might be. It's ok to feel whatever you're feeling. You don't have to be strong for me, us... or yourself. Sometimes strength is in letting yourself feel things fully" 

Tame chuckled, leaning against the wall as Kai opened the door to their room.

"We really are a bunch of emo kids. I'd be embarrassed if I had the bandwidth." 

Kai tugged him into the room, dropped the bags by the door, and focused on the devastated werewolf who at that moment was more sad boy than wolf boy. 

"I'm not sure what you're referring to but, so what? You're to much of a big tough werewolf for feelings now?" 

"What? I... I didn't mean it like that" 

"Then you shouldn't have said it like that huh?" 

"N... No I shouldn't have. I'm sorry. This is all so confusing. I haven't had time- it's hitting me all at once- I think it's my fault. If I had just listened- I had done something to help them- I want to lay on you forever which I know isn't appropriate stranger behavior, I feel so needy, I don't know what to do or what to think, and everything wants to boil over all at once." 

"Now see, was that so hard? I don't think it was, but you're taking a shower before you lay on me."

"You don't have to let me do that just because I'm a mess right now"

"So you just think I'm a human doormat huh?" 

"What? No, I don't want your pity, I want... Why do you keep doing that?"

"Challenging your ridiculous biases in a way you have to think about them? Is it working?" 

"I guess so. You weren't so contrary before" 

"You couldn't talk before. Now is now. Go take a shower. I'll go after, then you can lay on me all you need. I don't mind... I always liked cuddling with you. Since it's honesty time... this is a really big deal for me too. You're a really big deal for me too... I was freaked out for awhile, because you died, then you were human, then you were Taemin, then you were very much not Taemin. But I think I'm catching up with myself. Whatever it was that drew us together, that made us feel close when you were a dog... I don't think it's gone away. It might even be stronger now. I feel so drawn to you, the intensity eclipses my common sense. So I'm not just being nice, or tolerant. It's not pity. I want that too."

Tame fidgeted in front of him, bouncing on the balls of his feet with nervous energy. 

"Fuck, you're really sexy when you're irritated and emotional. I think I get why they're always bickering affectionately. I- I don't know how to say this so I'm just going to say it, could you please come with me? I haven't been alone in a long time, I'm so- so, overwrought. I don't want to be alone. I just really don't want to be alone" 

Kai nodded, understanding dawning. In the bathroom he hustled around the increasingly exhausted Tame, getting towels, everything else they needed.

"Bath or shower Tae?" 

Tame shrugged, lost in thought. 

"Okay, that's fine. I think shower in case you need a little help then ok? is hot all right?" 

Tame nodded. It seemed to Kai that he could answer yes or no questions, but more complex communication was harder for him. He couldn't imagine how bogged down his own communication centers would be if he had gone through everything Tame had. It was understandable that his words were hard to come by. 

Showering ended up more complicated than expected, Tame once reattached to Kai didn't seem comfortable letting go of him at all. Eventually he was able to get them both undressed and into the shower. Tame continued to cling. It took a little longer than normal to get them cleaned up, but the hot water held out so that was fine. Kai felt like there was already something monumental growing between. The combination of the hot shower and the slightly taller Tame wrapped around him, felt like remembering his favorite thing after a long time away. It was so good, maybe a little too good. 

He didn't mind taking care of Tame, being locked in a bunker for years, he understood what feeling trapped could do to you, they'd all had bad days down there. He had bad days down there. After their shower he'd managed to get them both into fresh underwear before Tame cuddle bulldozed him to lay on. 

Fuck. Kai thought it was possible that he was enjoying being a body pillow more than he should. Tame smelled so good, skin to skin felt even better. He just wished he knew what it meant to Tame to be taken care of. Was this moment as important to him as it felt to Kai? He felt like a baby duck trying not to imprint on the very first person to feed him. 

The pull to be close to Tame was magnetic, visceral. He couldn't deny it, didn't really want to. He'd always been a person who believed in doing what you wanted as long as it didn't hurt anyone. But this had the potential to hurt him, maybe them both. He knew he needed to be more careful than he ever was with his old team mates.

He'd never realized what a disservice he'd done himself by avoiding dealing with his feelings, he had no experience moderating, judging, or communicating them... and now they were both in the same fundamental boat of total lack of emotional experience. Super. This was sure to go well. It seemed like Jongin was the one that was good with emotional stuff. Did that mean it would be his responsibility to lead them through this? Fuck. If so they were sincerely fucked, in the the least fun way possible. Because he knew nothing about feelings. 

Tame seemed to be slowly coming back to himself, his breathing was deeper and more regular, relaxed. Kai thought he may have fallen asleep until he shifted, rolling, rubbing his whole, long, muscular body against Kai, practically purring. Oh fuck. Definitely not asleep then. 

"Kiki, you smell so good. You feel amazing. I know we haven't really talked. I don't want to assume that just because you let me sit on your lap when we both thought I was a dog that you would let me sit on your lap now. But I want to be honest with you, it's hard to resist you. Hard to resist how much I want you. Fuck. I want you so badly. I think the intensity of this could mean something important? That you could be important to me, but we don't know each other really yet. I think probably chemistry isn't everything right?" 

Kai laughed, a little raw with want and the exact same unsure feelings. Everywhere they were touching felt like the most heavenly fire. Tame's eyes burned into him, the small trembling press of the wolf holding himself back, lust coiled tight between them both. 

"I don't know either. I think that probably the mature grown up thing to do would be to wait-" 

Tame nodded obviously sad, rejection etched on his face, immediately backing up and off him. 

"Wait" Kai pulled him back down.

"What I was going to say is that you're probably right. It might make things harder but I've never been the type to deny myself things for propriety's sake. If the issue is actually communication then we need to communicate right? Sex doesn't have to make anything more complicated, not if we take care to make sure it doesn't. Not if we communicate... not more complicated than shit is already because of our really fucking weird situation" 

Tame nodded as he understood, breathed Kai in deeply, rolling his hips, whimpering into the warmth of his skin. 

"Can I bite you?" 

His lips ghosted over Kai's collar bone as he spoke, waiting patiently for permission to taste. 

"Fuck yes."

"Hard?" 

"Mmmh yes yes. Just, you know, work up to it. I'm sure you know what I mean" 

"Yeahhhh...." 

Tame licked his throat a little, peppered it in kisses, rolling his hips with need, but didn't actually take a bite. He looked at Kai from under his pretty silver hair, willing him to figure it out... and suddenly Kai understood. The snark, the bad attitude, the meltdown, the clinging. He had misunderstood, but he was on board now... and found it, fuck it was sexy, big, strong, submissive wolf, that wanted to be his, needed to be his. 

His heart pounded in his chest as arousal wound around his spine. He growled, Tame shivered, pressed in closer. 

"You want a bite? Come here pretty, now." 

Kai let his voice drop into sensual, commanding, waited patiently as Tame squirmed closer, he was half on top of him now. He pointed out his favorite spot to be bit. 

"Right here" 

The only response he got was more big eyes and whimpering. Mmmmmm. His stomach felt warm, as he recognized the need to completely let go in those huge, imploring, eyes.

He pulled Tame forward into a kiss, exploring his mouth, his responses, finding various places to bite, he kept a hand around his throat, the other in his hair. He snarled this time. 

"Don't play games with me Tae, if you want to bite me, fucking bite me." 

It was a command this time, not an offering. Kai yanked his hair sharply to punctuate the command, growled, crushed Tame's pretty mouth against his neck. Tame whimpered happily and obeyed. Kai had always loved the sharp firey pleasure of the right kind of bite. This bite was perfect, hot, sweet, promise, and need. The sharp lust heavy pain burned through his veins. They ground into each other, all teeth and nails. Desperate to let go for awhile. Desperate to feel.

Tomorrow there would be a lot of important conversations they would need to have, limits, boundaries, expectations, feelings. But in that moment they were both relieved not to think at all. 

\---------------

The thing about hotels when you were an idol, was that you grew up in them more or less. Sometimes hotels seemed more comfortable to him than his actual apartment. Granted Jongin stayed at Taemin's house more than any place he called his own anyway, but even then. Being in an almost completely unoccupied hotel had been.... Fun for them. A very specific kind of teenage fantasy fulfillment. Tame had left behind the tablet he used to make them waffles, so Taemin poked at it until they got it to produce ice cream, they had chased each other loudly through the halls for awhile, just being every flavour of wild and obnoxious they were never allowed to be as idols. They spent 20 minutes making out on the front desk, just because they could.

After awhile Taemin got "sleepy", so they located their room. It was beautiful and spacious. Jongin decided he would not be sad if they had to stay there for awhile. The last place they had been, it was wall to wall worrying about starving to death while pretending they weren't worrying about starving to death. Now they had all the convienences a city could offer them, with not a single human being to complicate that. It was introvert idol heaven. 

After they'd vigorously claimed every inch of the room Taemin deemed necessary, they spent a lot of time just being silly, kissing each other on the face and arguing over who loved who more. It was the first time they'd ever been able to be this care free with each other, they relished every minute. 

Nini was laying sprawled out on the bed like a starfish, naked, and utterly relaxed, when a very mischievous Taemin, with only a sheet wrapped around him trot hopped over, landed intentionally heavily on his stomach, and kissed his chest in lieu of an apology. 

"Jonginnie, I want ice" 

"Huh sounds like a personal problem Taeminnie." 

He stuck his tongue out at him just to make sure he got the message. 

"But look at me bear!"

He threw his head back for peak dramatics. 

"Taemin ah, I am naked too. What does naked have to do with it?" 

"Not because I'm naked, because I'm beautiful." 

He smirked and proceeded to giggle bite Jongin all over his chest to rouse him out of his malaise. 

"Please Jonginnie, because I want you to. Isn't that enough?"

And the thing was, it was enough, it had always been enough. Taemin just liked doing things the hard way. It was in his nature. 

"All right," Jongin pulled his boxer briefs on, "but I'm not putting on pants" 

"Yayyy Ice, Ice, Ice! Good, I like this view best anyway. Thank you my love, I will thank you extensively with my mouth upon your return"' 

Taemin wiggled suggestively. 

"Yeah yeah yeah, so you say now" 

He grabbed an ice bucket, tucked a key card into the waistband of his underwear and headed out into the unnaturally quiet hotel. It was actually really nice. He didn't immediately find an ice machine but he found he didn't mind. The carpet felt nice under his feet, the special buzzing quiet of the hotel soothed his semi perpetually rattled nerves. Man when this was all over, it was going to be a little hard for him to go back to the crowds and the noise. Anonymity had it's charms for sure. 

He was so lost in thought that it took him a second to register the voice floating towards him from around the corner. Jongin froze in his tracks.

"Whoaah, dude, No wayyyy" 

No foot steps, no voice in reply, no heavy hotel door thunking open and closed. He slowly and carefully peeked around the corner. 

GRRIIIND-THUNK-CHUNK-CHUNK-RATTLE 

Jongin jumped completely out of his skin before he realized it was actually the ice machine he'd been looking for. He flipped around looking down the hallway in both directions. It was a long hallway with no public rooms off of it. How could anyone get out of it completely unseen and unheard? Weird. Tame said there was no one... What if they were in a monster movie? The that would have been foreshadowing for something that goes down in the climactic final action sequence. Ooooh he and Taeminnie should have a movie marathon. A naked movie marathon was just the thing....

\------------

When he got back to the room, Taemin had put on very goth make up. Nini squinted at him, immediately suspicious. 

He tossed him his ice bucket. 

"Your ice, Your Highness, I think the hotel is haunted, since when do you have make up, didn't you tell me you were thanking me with your mouth?" 

Taemin spun around with a flourish, pointed at his perfect round cheek, blood red lips in a generous pout. He enunciated slowly. 

"Thannnnnk - Yoooouuuuuuuu" 

Jongin laughed, the audacity this man had.

"Oh really? That's it, I'm invoking tickle revenge" 

He ran across the room picked up his, squirming, squeal giggling, boyfriend and tossed him, flailing, on to the bed. They laughed together, giggling and wrestling, perfectly content. Perfect.

The ice ended up being quite useful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is actually in a way only half a chapter, but everything was getting way to long. This alone is over 7,000 words. So it's split in two. I hope that it's not terribly inconvenient for you to wait a bit. Thank you so much for your patience
> 
> A little bit of a psa: if you are a nonfictional person,  
> as a non super powered pretty boy, power exchange with strangers, with no negotiation or discussion before hand is a terrible idea. 
> 
> Both Kai & Tame are impulsive & hedonistic personifications of both idol's evil twin/ performance personas. They're not evil, they're just dicks. It's in character for them, but won't make things easy for them in the long run.


	7. Even If The Black Night Gets Longer

Almost a whole week went by before either couple even went looking for the other.

Tame had been in a state of raw shock, after the combined emotional and physical blows of being attacked by a very powerful mysterious assailant, almost dying, getting his humanity back (after apparent decades), and having to relive the loss of both himself and his sibling. It left him feeling very vulnerable and uncomfortable with the thought of being around anyone other than Kiki. Kai understood Tame needed time, and was anyway much to caught up in all the myriad feelings and experiences of being emotionally close to someone that he was physically close to... that is to say, he was to busy falling in love to give a damn. 

Taemin and Jongin meanwhile were more or less honeymooning it up while they waited for their friends to come up for air. Since there wasn't really anything they could do to help Tame, they gave him the space he needed too. It's not that they weren't aware of how very dire their situation was, they were more aware than they strictly wanted to be. However, waiting was the only real option they had, so they were taking it upon themselves to enjoy the time and privacy while they had it. If there was one thing they learned as Idols, it was the ability to make the best of any circumstance no matter how unlikely or unfortunate. 

On the second day they found a gym in the hotel that had a room probably intended for aerobics classes, and such. It would be perfect for them to start getting back into shape. Neither of them felt entirely comfortable with how long it had been since they had a proper dance schedule, it was starting to make them both a little edgy. Dancing alone in a little out of the way dance studio, pushing themselves, and each other, harder than anyone else would or could, it was almost romantic, in the sense, that it was a little like when they were kids, all over again. They liked that just fine. 

Somewhere around the seventh-ish day, when Kai went to get breakfast, he left a sticky note on the tablet that controlled the vending kitchen saying, 'Hey Guys, things are progressing ok ig, hopefully we'll be people ready soon. Hope you're ok too, - Kiki'

It was not the best note and gave no pertinent information but he really had no idea what else to say. Still it was something, and for now it would have to be enough. 

When he came back to the room it appeared to be empty. The first time he'd come back from a short errand to find Tame missing, he'd almost had a panic attack thinking the werewolf left without bothering to say goodbye.... but he knew better now. His wolf just liked to sneak up on him for... sport. 

*Oh what big eyes you have Tame - 

All the better to see you with Kiki* 

He was used to the routine now, he didn't panic when he came into a surprisingly empty room. He set their breakfast down and went about his business, listening for the faint sound of a barefoot Tame jumping down from wherever he'd been hiding for his impromptu boyfriend hunt. Wait, fuck, he remembered the orange juice. Kai held up a hand, to pause. He didn't have to look behind him to make sure. 

"Wait, let me get clear of the orange juice or this is going to get the wrong kind of sticky" 

He stepped gingerly away from the table of breakfast foods. 

"Ok, we're good. Come and Get Me." 

He was immediately swept up, tackled onto the bed. Before he could fully register that he was laying sprawled on his back, Tame had squirmed half way into his sweater with him, and was affectionately wiggle gnawing on his ribs. 

"I missed you Kiki"

"I was gone maybe 20 minutes... but I... missed you too... actually. Fuck, I don't think I'm good at this feelings stuff" 

"20 minutes is just to long, I'm used to a whole family pack. I'm sorry, I think I forgot how to be alone. You're not good at feelings? Well, I don't think I'd know what good at feelings looked like anyway so you're fine. I don't know why, I get this strong nervous impulse to chew on you anytime you've been gone for any amount of time. I don't think that's how it's supposed to be done at all" 

Kai did his best to comfort his Tame shaped sweater lump.

"It's ok, I get it... me too really. I barely remember what being alone felt like. I don't mind when you chew on me... Actually... I love it when you chew on me, so please don't stop... or feel bad about it. I think it doesn't really matter if it isn't how it's supposed to be done, as long as we're both happy with how we're doing it... I think... fuck I might be wholesale stealing smart sounding feelings things I've heard Jongin say to Taemin. So it's safe to say neither of us know what we're doing. I don't really know what to do about that, but as for loneliness, we could could go see them, if you need more people. I wouldn't be hurt. I don't expect to fulfill your every emotional need. That's impossible for one person I'm pretty sure. I know Taemin was a little confrontational before but, you caught him off guard, he's all right. He's not usually so... stressed I guess" 

Kai could practically feel the good natured snuffly smile, that always squinched Tame's nose up, pressed into his ribs.

"He was ok, just worried about you. I'd protect you too. I don't think I'm quite ready to see them yet. I know we'll have to soon but not quite yet, if that's ok?"

Kai thought his sweater lump was probably taking a break from gnawing on his ribs to replicate the effect of somewhat pouty mouth, meaningful eye contact. Sweater lumps were not the best at meaningful eye contact having more sweater than eyes.

"Of course it's ok. You know it might be easier to talk if you were not inside my sweater with me, right now"

"You smell so good, it makes me feel better, happy to touch you, to be touching you, to be surrounded by you. If you don't mind I'd rather stay. But afterwards, maybe, I think I'd like to go scout today, check things out in town. Did you see that sky scraper from the balcony? I'm sure you did. It sorta seems like everything leads to it right? Isn't that weird? I think that's weird. I want to head that way. This place still feels really wrong, I need to figure out what it is, so I can rest. I've tried searching their internet but I don't know enough about their world. It's like looking for a specific needle in a field of needles. This creepy feeling is like having an itch I can't ever scratch, it's making me so uneasy. After that we can be with the rest of our pack. After."

"But, Kiki, if we do that if we go searching, it would be better if I went as a wolf. I'm faster, my senses are better, my teeth are better weapons than my fists if I need them. I don't know if that will freak you out, watching me shift, so I thought it might be best if you see now, so you're ready for it."

The unspoken so I can handle it privately if you are disgusted or freaked out, hung in the air between them.

Kai had a little emotional whiplash from the range of things Tame had been worrying about coming out in such a rush. Still it was a huge improvement over the silent brooding of a week ago. Kiki was grateful for the working towards communication. For a second all he could think was, wow, no one had ever wanted to be, or needed to be, immersed in me before, it made his heart do funny little wibble-wobble flips.

"Well first of all, I think that's the most romantic thing anyone has ever said to or about me... I hope you know that I might be terrible at navigating this the right way, but when you're close to me... I feel the same way, safe, loved, some how more free, and I'm sure that if it would help, we could find a way to be completely touching and looking at each other at the same time, but I can work with this too, I really don't mind." 

"I think I understand why you want to show me your shift, but Tame, Baby, Puppy, I don't mind at all. I'm not freaked out about that. I've known shifters before, I've shifted before, though I'm not not a shifter. If that's what you're worried about... back home we had a magical recreational- you know what, that's ancient history. The point is, I'm not unaware or afraid. I know it can be different for different people, does it hurt when you shift?" 

"Not normally, sometimes if I'm in a rush, it can be a little itchy and discombobulating. You really don't mind?" 

Tame, finally came out from his sweater hidey hole. Kai loved the way his silver grey hair was the same color as his his silver grey wolf form. It was very cool. Static electricity made a whimsical hair halo around the werewolf's face. He sat up, still straddling Kiki, nose scrunched, blinking at him hopefully. 

"I'm really not freaked out at all... Come back down here and kiss me, then you can show me. We can scout anywhere you like. It's a good idea. Eventually we're gonna have to do something here besides eating and fucking. We can't stay in this high tech ghost town forever" 

Tame wrinkled his nose in distaste at the phrase 'ghost town'. It was still a little funny to Kai that privately Tame had a lot more Taemin recognizable mannerisms than when they'd been in public. Privately being the key word there he suspected. He didn't know if he really qualified as a confidant for the wolf but he hoped so. Either way watching the tall, powerful, Tame, pout at him was a special kind of gift. He never wanted it to end.

"Ghosts. Maybe that's it."

Tame didn't actually warn Kai or move away at all to shift. It was a small challenge to the claim of not being bothered by his shape shifter nature. Instead he shifted right on top of Kiki. In the blink of an eye he was a smallish red wolf, sitting in the puddle of his now much to large, sweatpants. He stood up, growling just a bit, a reminder. The wolf didn't exactly mean to be prickly, but he had to know now before he was in to deep, if Kai had a problem with his fundamental nature. Some people did.

"Oh very scary Puppy. I'm super impressed by your grrr. Did you forget I know you in both forms? You might look intimidating but you don't scare me, either way... I promise, I understand." 

Puppy, who was beyond relieved, licked Kai's face until he flailed in protest. 

"Ugh, but no tongue until you have thumbs again. Yeesh" 

Kai gave him a reassuring scratch behind the ears for good measure. Puppy hopped about happy yipping, continuing his delighted Puppy antics until Kai was laughing along with him. Satisfied that his cuteness was fully appreciated he raced around the hotel room, zipping at top wolf speed and agility, ricocheting off walls and bounding over end tables. 

In a final measure of showmanship, he leapt from quite a distance shifted in mid air and landed practically in Kai's lap, fully human. He looked almost shy, a pretty pink blush washed over him as he peeked at Kiki from behind his silver bangs. 

"I have thumbs again" 

Kiki smirked happy to oblige the unspoken request. 

"You do. Come here so I can properly show my appreciation." 

If Tame needed some reassurance, well Kai understood that, and maybe he did too. Anyway, the city wasn't going anywhere. Their scouting mission could wait a little longer.

\----------+--------

The funny thing about dating your best friend, whom you'd been best friends with since you were a child, whom in some ways you'd spent your entire life with, was that you had some habits that were so long standing neither of you really knew when they started. 

For as long as Jongin remembered, when they traveled together, Taemin got up first, made coffee, tea, snacks, showered, and then woke up Jongin. Once he was finally awake he was in charge of a proper breakfast/brunch/lunch. It had always been that way. So every morning for the last week once Nini had gotten up and gotten his brain going properly, he has meandered down to the very fancy robotic kitchen to get them food.

Every time it gave him a weird feeling, like he was being watched. He didn't really know why, there was no one there, but it persisted. Maybe it was lay over fear from every other time he'd been in a hotel in his adult life. He was after all in the lobby of a hotel totally naked other than his butter soft Gucci boxer briefs. The scandal back home would have been intense. That is what he told himself every day as he loaded up their trolly of various breakfast foods. It was fine, it was nothing, he was being paranoid, he could always just put on pants. Still the feeling didn't fade, it got stronger. He started wearing pants to get the food. 

That day he had been distracted by a Post-It note Kiki left, so he was already halfway back to the room when he remembered Taemin wanted a soda and a banana milk if he could manage it. He could have gotten both from the vending kitchen, but since he forgot, he didn't have to go back. There was a drink dispenser up by the ice machine, that would do fine. He headed that way.

When he turned the final corner, he got the biggest shock of his life. A casually dressed young man was staring into the drink machine with one soda in his hands, and the most forlorn expression ever... Nini froze, completely overwhelmed as he remembered at the worst possible moment, that he was entirely shirtless and shoeless. Unprofessional. Great. It wasn't a big deal as such, but a lifetime of image management kicked his anxiety into instant high gear.

"Oh dude no wayyyy you gotta give me my soda. Oh man, he's gonna be so pissed if I don't bring back all the drinks... Bro what the fuck?." 

The young man, really barely out of adolescence, was so dejected, he hadn't even noticed Nini standing there with his trolly of pancakes, breakfast bacon, and a distinct lack of a complete outfit. Only a life time of training kept him from screaming in shock, running, or in some way making an already embarassing moment even more humiliating with a poorly timed fuss. This was already more than embarassing enough. Thank fuck he put on pants. He didn't even want to think about how horrifying that would have been. Maybe if he just helped the guy he would like, what???? Leave? Please. 

"Uhh if you sorta push shake it, it'll start dispensing again." 

"Whoah. WhaAat?... oh man, my bad, I don't know what you mean." 

The boy didn't seem startled for Nini to be there all of a sudden, he didn't move at all, not to leave, not to shake the machine. It was like he was stalled out. Jongin could relate.

The mystery kid stared into the drink machine. Nini likewise stared intently at the pancakes, and then the wall. There was an ad for 'life extending virtual vacations' there, whatever that meant. The kid was still not doing anything. Fuck. He peeked sideways at the stranger. No amount of idol training could force him to make eye contact with a complete stranger, in another dimension, while he was half naked. Not any force on any earth could do that. Not even Taemin... well maybe Taemin, but Taemin wasn't here so it wasn't happening. How to get this torment over with? 

"I, here I can show you"

He didn't quite run up to to vending machine, but it was a near thing, he moved expeditiously, faced slightly away from the kid, for so many myriad, totally valid reasons, and gave the drink machine a good shove. This was a performance. It was fine. He was fine. No one knew him here. 

*Chk-thunk-criink* 

The vending machine finally let go of whatever it had captured. A banana milk, cool. 

"Oh. Banana Milk, my best- well boyfriend wanted-" 

When he turned to hand the boy his drink he was gone. There was a can of coca-cola balanced neatly on his breakfast trolly. What in the actual fuck? There wasn't supposed to be any people. Where did that person that was not supposed to exist in the first place, go? Where did he come from in the first place? Now he sorta wished he'd actually looked at the kid's face, though how that would have helped he didn't know. 

Fuck this, he was going back to their room, maybe Taemin would have some sort of ideas. He was supposed to be having his solo debut right now. Not worrying about Banana Milk Ghosts. Mark and Lucas would be texting him congratulations for his 'completely awesome debut stage bro'. Fuck he wanted that back, he wanted stages, dance practices, dating rumors, and back to back schedules. He wanted to go to Taemin's every day after work and fall asleep in his lap watching zombie movies. He wanted his fucking life back fucking dammit. He didn't know why he was so homesick all of a sudden. He added the banana milk to the rest of their brunch, he was keeping both these drinks dammit, and headed back as quickly as he could. Being in the scary movie was less fun than watching it. That shit was unnerving. 

He peeled into the room at top speed, trying and mostly failing to remain calm, and slammed the door closed behind him. Taemin was on the balcony. 

"Hey, Jonginnie, Kiki and Puppy, you heard that right, he was in wolf form again, just left the hotel, I saw them jogging across the lot. They'd tell us if they weren't coming back right? Jonginnie what's wrong????" 

"Fuck, Taeminnie I think this hotel might really be haunted" 

\--------++-------- 

The creepiest thing about this city was how absolutely normal it seemed besides being a little more futuristic than Taemin and Jongin's Seoul, and a little differently futuristic than Exo planet, Kai's actual home world. 

It looked like any early morning on any planet, in any modern city, before dawn began to wake people up. Except it was mid day and there was no one there to wake. Every single structure was completely empty but still working. There were no obvious clues to explain what sort of disaster befell these people. There was no wreckage, no damage, nothing was even run down, the inside lights came on, the street lights worked, automatic cleaning bots trundled along periodically, there were even still bright flashy billboards. Ads for some tech company were absolutely everywhere, as well as movie posters, local advertising, and concert ads. It was in every way a seemingly thriving modern city that was no longer thriving. Very fucking weird. 

Kai was in pretty good shape, though not wild wolf levels of good shape. He noticed this glaringly as they jogged along. Puppy lead the way, at a blatant, my boyfriend is human, pace. He was following his nose presumably... or maybe something he was hearing? Sometimes in the lull of jogging Kai briefly forgot that Tame was still in there. He wasn't just a particularly bright dog, he was a man. His man... that thought he liked. He'd never been anyone's primary person. No one had ever been his primary person. It felt nice. He guessed the Puppy = Tame math was bound to be a little weird the first time he saw him as Puppy after that radical reconfiguring of understanding. 

They passed a coffee shop dramatically named 'Nemo's Secret Deeps'. It was tucked in next to what was almost definitely some sort of music shop. The cafe had an extremely cute picture of a submarine with a giant steaming coffee cup balanced on the roof, painted on the store front. The music shop was called 'The Low Note' and was absolutely papered in concert posters. It was all so incredibly normal. 

Tame obviously couldn't talk in wolf form and couldn't shift without being naked and extremely vulnerable on the street, so they agreed ahead of time to just go together. They would see where his senses took them, heading in the general direction of the skyscraper that dominated the horizon, and come back to talk about it barring any sort of emergency. Just in case Kiki carried a back pack with Tame's clothes. 

On second thought maybe Tame was following some of the visible cable everywhere. His path was definitely not heading directly towards the tower so there must be something... right? He didn't know how fast this would get them where they were going but he was happy to follow along however long it took. 

Their first sign of what might have gone awry, when they finally reached the base of the skyscraper, was an ominously cryptic warning spray painted on the side of the building reading, "An Old World with New Dreams, open your eyes and see we're still on the road to Hell." There was a giant artistically executed arrow pointing down. The whole thing was being eaten by a giant furious tiger. It was really cool but in a completely empty city for no apparent reason, it was also creepy... everything here seemed extra ominously important due to the pressing silence of the place. Cities were meant to make more noise than just the pervasive low grade buzzing of electricity everywhere. 

Kai realized that above the cryptic warning, there was another billboard for the tech company, it to had been so heavily defaced with more tagged hungry tigers that he hadn't recognized it at first. He couldn't quite understand whether the tiger was supposed to be eating the scientist or protecting him. Maybe both? 

Tame was making a slow circuit around the Skyscraper. Kiki tried to watch extra closely for what might be setting Tame's concerns off but he had no idea what to look for. On the other side of the skyscraper, which had been two whole additional city blocks of running, Kai needed to rest. 

"Hey, Puppy, Uhh Tame, I need to sit for a bit. There's a whatever that was, a bus stop? I think? ... up that way. We can stop there for awhile" 

Tame immediately slowed down to walk by his side, leaning into him at least a little. It was a nice reassurance when he was this tired. As soon as Kai sat down, Puppy jumped up beside him, to cuddle up just like they used to. Ahh he hadn't realized he'd missed this part of Tame too. He rubbed his face just a little in Puppy's soft fur. 

"Tame Baby, I hope you mean the things you say, because... I care now, more and more every day really. I've never had anything like this. I've never had anyone like you in my life ever. I don't... it's not that I doubt you, I'm just... scared I guess. I can play tag with a meteorite, going mach 4, but I've never been in love. This is much more scary than that" 

Kiki hugged the wolf awkwardly. How is one supposed to interact when you just told your boyfriend you were falling in love with him while he was dog shaped and unable to respond directly? Kai bemoaned his utter lack of romantic sense until Puppy licked his face very excessively.

"Ok ok I'll stop feeling sorry for myself, but no tongue until you have thumbs. It's the rules!"

Puppy yipped, as if to say, I wouldn't have to do these things if you weren't being ridiculous. Once Kiki stopped kicking himself, Tame crawled into his lap, huff sighing in a satisfied way that left Kai feeling warm and content. Ok maybe he wasn't totally romantically hopeless. 

*Ksksksksksssssss* 

The building across the way, burst into static out of nowhere, like some mystery switch had been flipped. A handsome, angular, man with shaggy honey blonde hair appeared, glowing, bigger than life on the side of the building. 

"Hi, I'm Doctor Lee. You may know me from one of our many reality programs, show casing all of our myriad astounding technological advances. Worried about the future, or your grueling day to day? Check out our patented virtual dream technology. You too can live in a world you created... at least on the weekends. It's a whole new lifestyle. We hope you try it."

He laughed warmly as it faded to a title. 'New City Tech, bringing the future to you today'. The scene faded to black. 

That was... kinda weird right? The visual glitched. Loud static poured out of everywhere. Then the young man was back on the building, but casually dressed now, looking awkwardly concerned. He looked at the camera like it was a friend, leaning in and whispering conspiratorially.

"I'm sorry, I'll try harder" 

It kept looping. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry"

The audio and visual lost their synchronicity. The scene glitched again, rolling faster and faster, every image of the man seemed drastically different but didn't stay long enough to be sure. The static heavy audio seemed pasted together out of secondary sources. Was it saying 'look down'? It was impossible to tell for sure.

Then it definitely was saying that, the visual glitched again and again, rolling flashes of the man over and over again, it might have been a pattern, the unnerving frantic feel of it all made it difficult to decipher. The audio glitched again, chanting. 

"Du- du- du- Look down. Look down'. Look down" 

It caught, repeating louder and louder, until it was mostly feedback squealiing.

Despite himself Kai looked at his feet, almost expecting something monsterous to be there. The asphalt seemed totally normal. The building faded to a regular brickwork building again. 

What the fuck was that? 

Puppy jumped down, whine bark howling commandingly as he ran in tight circles around Kiki. He didn't need to understand wolf to know that shit freaked him out to. It was time to go back to the hotel and talk. 

Now that he'd seen the weird whatever that was. He saw that theme reoccurring all over the city, arrows pointing at seemingly nothing but the ground, stores referencing something deep in the earth or under the whole of the ocean. Kai couldn't believe he'd missed it. It was obvious and everywhere. "Open your eyes" & "Look down" sometimes individually and sometimes together, but always there. It gave him the creeps. The trip back seemed much longer and more frought than the trip out had.

When they finally made it back to the hotel the normalcy made everything seem that much more unsettling. 

As soon as they got back to their room, Tame shifted back, barely taking time to do anything besides grab a pair of sweat pants.

"What the fuck was that?!" 

"I don't know but it was creepy as fuck. Did you notice anything else... like wolfy or whatever?" 

"Just that this New City Technology Tower, seems to be the center of town not just visually... but everything is wired into it. Like everything" 

"That's kinda weird right? That's not typically how big cities work is it? I've never seen that and I've seen a lot of cities in a lot of places"

"Not in my experience either, but I don't really know Kiki, you're probably more experienced than me in regards to other cities."

"Well then no it's not... typical... and what was with all the creepy horrors below references?" 

"I don't know but I bet if I research that tech company, we'll find out about that... and what ever happened here." 

"This is so freaky, we need to tell Taemin and Jongin about it. I think it's time for us to meet back up." 

"Yeah, I know you're right. I can handle it." 

"I know you can, you're a big bad wolf." 

"Ugh, you're terrible, why am I so attached to you?" 

"Oh, because you're my big bad wolf. Come here. Let me show you" 

The slightly self conscious Tame, happily fell into Kai's arms. 

"I like this better, you have to keep me, so I can be held at all times. It's necessary to my wolfy happiness"

"... I think I can handle that. I'm not a wolf but... I'm happy with you... like this... We can talk to them tomorrow right? One more day won't change whatever the fuck this is." 

"Yes. Tomorrow please" 

Tame nuzzled Kiki's face, heavy with affection. He had a way of looking at Kai with his luminous, brown eyes, that asked for kisses, without a single word needed. Kai was more than happy to oblige him. 

*KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK* 

Both men jumped in surprise at the knock on their door.

"Holy Shit! Are you ok Tame baby? That almost gave me a heart attack. I wonder what they want? I guess we're having this talk tonight... whether we want to or not." 

Tame pouted at him, gave Kai another kiss, then drew himself up to his full impressive height to answer the door.

"Yeah? Are you guys all right?" 

Taemin and Jongin flooded into the hotel room, talking a mile a minute. Tame yelled to get their attention. 

"Hey! Excuse me, what the hell are you two talking about? No one else here speaks your secret besties for life language, can you please slow down." 

They both gawped up at him for a second, Nini took a deep breath, whispered in Taemin's ear, and then rested quietly on Taemin's shoulder while he started again, slower for the not them versions of them.

"Ok, yes ok. We forget sometimes. Sorry. We were saying that this hotel is haunted." 

Tame was totally floored, that was the last thing he expected to hear. 

"This hotel?" 

Taemin looked at the tall werewolf version of himself like he was a bit disappointed in this response. 

"Yes, this hotel." 

Feeling a little brave and a lot freaked out, Kai stepped into Tame's space and did his best to try his own hand at winding around his wolf. He'd seen Nini do it enough, it couldn't be that hard right? It was no different than holding hands. Being close to Tame immediately put Kiki more at ease.

"What the fuck is going on?" 

Tame unsubtly pulled him closer. 

"I don't know, but Taemin, Nini, we need to tell you a story too. Maybe we should compare notes."

They ended up having a lot they needed to catch each other up on. Jongin told them all the whole story of the quiet laughter and occasional voices he'd been hearing, as well as the most recent less deniable experience with what was now dubbed, The Banana Milk Ghost. Taemin had been hurt at first that Jongin hadn't been more explicit about what he'd been hearing until he understood that Nini just thought he was over tired and letting the weirdness of the empty hotel freak him out. Taemin knew he probably would have done the same.

Then Kai and Tame completely caught their friends up on everything including how long they had both been figuratively on pause, all of their half baked theories, and the weird city. 

Many more hypothesis flew around but ultimately they needed more information before they could have much hope of figuring out much of anything. 

They did not get much sleep that night at all.


	8. Sidequests - A Gift For My Beloved

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This Bonus Chapter isn't part of the over arcing story and isn't in linear or chronical order, and doesn't impact the story directly really at all.
> 
> It does contain very mild spoilers for future chapters but I don't think it's anything that was impossible to deduce from the story so far. 
> 
> I needed a pick me up yesterday, so did my favorite broody boys. 
> 
> So here we are
> 
> Self indulgence thy name is, me

Noun. sidequest: A quest given to the player that has no direct bearing on the main story/campaign of the game. Completion of a sidequest often results in the acquisition of money or items that are otherwise unavailable, or unlocks another sidequest. 

\----

Today Tame and Kai decided to take some much needed time away from their slowly growing pack of would be heroes and wanna be saviors. It was exhausting. The rest of the family was relentlessly up beat... relentlessly. Sometimes it was just to much, leaving them both feeling burned out and snappy. Neither of them really thrived with this many people or maybe it was this much positivity. 

Taemin & Jongin had a life time of training in maintaining momentum no matter what, despite being fundamentally introverted people. They honestly didn't know what was up with rest of the merry band of SuperGays... mostly because they both did their absolute level best to tune out as much as possible. They did not want to know.

So today they were taking a much needed break before their frazzled turned into uncalled for mean. No one here had anymore control than they did. They were all just trying to survive. It wasn't fair to anyone to take their frustration out on the team, or so Jongin said as he shoved them out the door with a bundle of werewolf movies, their favorite snacks, and a gently phrased insistence that they not come back until they had gotten whatever out of their systems. 

Werewolf movies. Rude. 

He was an astute and caring leader. Rude. 

They found a relatively secluded place to curl up and watch their werewolf movies, which were not shape shifter porn, thank you very much, in blessed solitude.

It really had been exactly what they needed. Rude.

Kai lay half sprawled across a low slung couch. Tame somehow fit perfectly wrapped around him, curled carefully into his side. He always did. Sometimes Kai wondered if maybe Tame's shape shifting ability extended to cuddling, because he seemed the absolute best and most perfect cuddler. Tame yelled variously at the plot, characters, and general werewolf inaccuracies while they watched their movies. Kiki took a more reserved approach, listening raptly to all of Tame's dissatisfactions while chuckling quietly into his wild fluff of soft silver hair, occasionally brushing those lush silken strands back so Kai could kiss him on the forehead. It was all rather perfect, snuggled up against his wolf. It was exactly what Kiki needed.

"You know, don't let them hear me say it, but the boyfriend brigade has really grown into this leadership thing. They're... good at it. I'm... I was so bitter and jealous at first, when I first met them I really thought they were to soft for... well anything... and they are totally soft. But it works somehow... better." 

Kai sighed thoughtfully murmuring in gentle amusement, pressed tenderly against Tame's temple. It was a quiet sort of intimacy.

"The other day, I found Nini, hidden away in a little nook, watching baby bear videos, on the verge of tears. Because bears are his family or something? I mean look I'm a dick, I didn't listen well enough, I sorta panicked and went to find Taemin. Like bro I think your man is about to have a bear related cry or something. Taemin made this whispery whiney puppy empathy noise, and immediately went to soothe him. There was no shock, this was more or less a regularly scheduled emotional situation. I genuinely have no idea how to navigate with them sometimes, they emote in all caps, all the time. It sorta freaks me out... I feel deeply inadequate"

"I think I know what you mean. It's overwhelmingly irritatingly brilliant. You think bear videos are a lot, I accidentally walked in on our dear co-leader, Taeminnie, heart broken over the idea of fucking kittens not always having homes. If all the things I was semi prepared to accidentally walk in on him doing, crying was no where on the list. He said, and I quote more or less, 'Sometimes when things get to be so far beyond to much that I'm having trouble making decisions, I have a good secret stress cry over kittens. Then I'm ok and I can go back to being Taemin. You know, I think I'll get a kitten when we get back. One of those cute fluffy ones that always look like a baby bc their eyes are so big and bright.' He squinched his nose, bounced, it was perky. We are dealing with all of this and he is perky, adorable, apparently stress crying over kittens intentionally as pressure control, and obnoxiously good at everything"

Jongin shimmied over a bit so they could look at each other more easily.

"What the fuck does he even mean? Stress crying over kittens? Kittens?"

"Honestly, the wildest part is it actually worked. I mean I tried it, not crying over kittens but intentional therapeutic crying and it definitely helped. It did, you should try it" 

"... Fuck... I probably will. I think I sorta accidentally did that when we first got to your forest... When I met you actually! So yeah helpful. I... never run out of surprises with them" 

They lay together for awhile, just enjoying the closeness without the whole family crawling all over them. They'd come along way together since those first intense days when they were both a little afraid to let the other out of their sight.

"Tame, babe... do you want to talk about what you cried over?" 

"Maybe? Not right now, right now I just want to sit here in the quiet, being close to you. I don't know, you know, whatever" 

"Me too" 

"Really??" 

"Yeah, both things, spoken & implied. I feel that way too"

Tame wiggled happily, smelling his Kai, letting relief, intimacy, and yes even love wash over him. The love was definitely there even if they both tended to talk around the L word unless they were having big important conversations. It wasn't that they didn't want to say it. It was more that they both felt it more loudly, when they said I love you with touch than they did when they said it with words. This closeness meant much more to either of them than all the love songs in the galaxy. 

"Not to change the subject or anything Ki but why are they so hot? Who gave them permission?"

"You're totally changing the subject but it's fine. I don't know, it's so ingrained, I'm not sure they can stop. The other day Nini was trying to distract me from the stress of team antics, he made this little sexy smirky face at me. It's not even ever that big a deal and yet I've never wanted to fuck myself so bad in my life. It's disturbing."

"HAAAAA Taemin too, you know how he does that thing where he, asks you to do something, but it wasn't really a question, it was a command? If you don't mind immediately, he stares at you with that particular beatific, calm smile, blinking at you blandly, and that slowly terrifyingly increasing undertone of the queen will eat you if you do not comply? It does things to me every time, to the point I just immediately do whatever he asks. Just imagine if the clone of your angelic looking not quite evil twin appeared out of nowhere and was constantly supposedly trying to bossy seduce you, to get his way. The worst part is that it absolutely works. I do not question that man unless it is essential anymore."

"So you think they do it on purpose too?"

"Fuck yes, I think they're so good at reading people, they know exactly how to use our own dynamic against us. Fuck they're good, do you think they would stop if we asked?"

"Ask them to stop what exactly? Are you gonna tell candy sweet Queen Taemin that he gives you an extremely horrifying erection?"

"fuck you make a good point. We would have to tell them it was working to make them stop, which they probably already know anyway and now they're just trolling us because they think it's funny. Ha. Fuck. Are you going to tell Nini that you'd raw dog him in a red hot second if he gave you half a chance?"

"Not even if our lives depended on it. He'd be giving me subbie kitten eyes constantly just for shits and giggles. No fucking way am I giving my best friends who also happen to be total troll sadists, that much power over me. No fucking way."

"What if he felt the same. I think sometimes he feels the same. He has the same haunted expression you do, when he looks at you, every once in a while." 

"... That's even more horrifying... You know right before we left your world, Taemin told me he had a crush on me, it was fine, Jongin knew, he wanted to be honest with me, because I was sorta still pining over him back then...."

"You're thinking about it aren't you? A TaeKai sandwich?" 

"You can't tell? No Puppy, I was thinking how ridiculous in love with you I am, that there was a time that sure, I would have snapped that up and secretly cried over the emotional fall out afterwards. But I know them better now. I don't know, it's like they do that flirty thing because yeah it's effective but also because they know we're solid, so it's a game. Flirting for them, it can be a tool."

"Tame babe... they're right, I know we don't always say it out loud but I'm saying it now so you don't worry about not being enough for me. So you don't come away from this conversation feeling like I am hoping to have something with them. I love you. I adore you. I love you when you're catty in the morning. I love you when you're defensive because you don't like feeling cornered. I love you when you feel small and needy. I love you when you can't talk and when you can't let go. I love you when you are brash and brave. I love you when you're cynical and underwhelmed. I love you. You are neither to much nor to little. So yes technically I was thinking about it. I was thinking how much you have completely inhabited my life and my heart. I was thinking about the fact that I can love you completely just like this without feeling like it needs to be a thing. That I never feel less or lost because we haven't defined or quantified what we are to each other. I was thinking that I trust you, and that it wouldn't bother me if you ever did want something like that because there are so many different ways we can love each other, that I don't feel like I need to possess you to love you. I was thinking that I was perfectly fine without romance and I don't think romance is in anyway necessary to live, but having found this person who fits with me so exactly rightly regardless of sex or romance, I find myself completely content to just experience that fit."

"Fuck" 

"What?" 

"You know how you always say you're nothing like him. That he's the good clone or whatever. But Kiki, that was a very on brand sweeping romantic statement so maybe you should concede to the fact that you're more like him than you think." 

"I don't even like you." 

Tame chuckled, kissing the warm pulse point in Kai's throat.

"Mmmh maybe not, but you love me absolutely to death"

"Wowwwwww. I see, well I'm not the only clone in the room you know. You just did that smug wide eyed blinky Taemin smile" 

"I did no such thing, uncalled for rudeness. Seems like Nini is not the only bratty brat clone here hmm? To think I fell so deeply in love with someone so thoughtless? No nookie for you Sir" 

"But now I know your weakness, all I have to do is smile in increasingly sexy mild implied threat"

Kai smiled feral and loving. 

"Come here" 

What could Tame do, but as he was told? So he came.

Twice. 

\--------------

The next day when they checked in with the rest of the family relaxed and loose limbed, more happy than they'd been in days, Taemin and Jongin were visibly elated. They high fived each other cutely while speaking whole complex secret conversations in eye contact. Wonder Husband Powers Activate.

Tame and Kai let the boyfriend brigade have it. They were really incredibly good at what they did, understanding their people's emotional needs was part of that... probably. Besides for once they didn't have enough angst in them to bother with it. They leaned into each other. Tame raised one amused eyebrow. Kai responded with a camp amused expression and small sexy snarl. 

*Are you seeing these nerds* 

*Yeahhh bigger than life. I love you. I'm gonna bite you later* 

Tame bit his lip, flustered, and shoved Kai back a bit so he could lay in his lap in wolfy comfort. Behind them Taemin and Jongin high fived again, happy to see their friends more relaxed and obviously communicating better. As usual their casual appearance belied an understanding that didn't really need words spoken out loud. 

*Look at them, so cute. I'm so happy for them*

*You and your universal TaeKai agenda.* 

*Please, we're bigger than some mysterious inter-dimensional rift, besides they're our friends. I want them to be happy* 

*Look at you going all soft, and you say I'm the romantic one* 

*If you tell anyone* 

*Gasp! I would never!* 

*Fuck I love you so much Jonginnie*

*I love you too Taeminnie* 

*You wanna go watch some of these werewolf movies with me? We have time* 

*I thought you'd never ask. Let's go before someone needs something* 

With that, before anyone could ask their team leaders what was next on their inter-dimensional mission agenda. They, jumped up, Taemin fairly squealing in amused excitement and ran giggling out of the room, playfully swatting at each other. It has been to long since they'd had time to themselves. Werewolf movies sounded like just the perfect romantic date. 

Kai and Tame barely even noticed. 

They had other things on their minds.

**Author's Note:**

> If you want to set the mood for this fic I strongly suggest reading while listening to Taemin's new album 'Never Gonna Dance Again 1', and SuperM 'Super One' 
> 
> They are both really really incredible albums that I have been listening to pretty much non-stop as I've been writing.
> 
> As always thank you so much for reading, leaving kudos, and commenting. You make my day every single time
> 
> \-----  
> I have a Twitter where I ramble occasionally about writing, queerness, neurodiversity, SuperM, artists, music, glittery men  
> [@SpaceandGlitter](https://mobile.twitter.com/SpaceandGlitter)  
> [My Carrd](https://moonboysandbinarystars.carrd.co/)


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